My biggest nightmare

Dear Ilites,
I wanted to share some of my innermost fears here, as i know being women you will understand . My mother has brought us up single handedly and has done so much for us that i could never ever think of doing for my child, the amount of hard work, sacrifices etc etc. My mother is my closest friend and my sense of motivation and inspiration. Today when i am a mother and am seeing my mother stepping into the "OLD AGE " group i am very scared of the fact that one day she will not be there in my life. I cannot ever think of my life without her . She is the most important person in my life.I know death is ineveitable but even though i have tried many a times to make myself understand that this will happen one day, everytime this thought comes to me i feel an emptiness within me. Do any of you feel like this. This is my biggest nightmare.Please share your biggest fears .

Hi Priyu,
You are not alone feeling like that. even I feel scared many times if I think about
it about my parents. even i am very close to my parents.
it's indeed a scary ..
Tulasi

Priya,
Me too have this nightmare.
I don't even know what to do. My parents are in Chennai and I am here and also the only daughter, it gives me a ............I don't even know how to explain that feeling.
Sriniketan

Hi all,

your biggest nightmare became true for me 15 years ago....

you just grow up and learn to deal with it. As some one truly said we never actually grow up when we have our parents. It is only when we don't have them that we mature and learn to deal with life as they did.

Sad part is at that time it never even entered my mind to think of the eventuality of their death. Feels like i have already seen the worst that is there and not afraid to face anything. But one never knows

Hi,
Same here, I am so scared here thinking about them...
If I get any mid night calls, I will get up with so much fear .
That too, it has become more after I got thyroid... (It is a side effect of thyroid -- fear about death)
Whatever may be, we have to go thru whatever it comes.

~Punitha

Hi ,


I've felt it so much and have cried a lot too which my husband is not aware of. He has a different view and is quite strong . i could see it when my Fil passed away . But I can't think of it even though they're just in their early 60's . I keep telling my mom to exercise , go for walks . And she just does everything for dad and for us and for the house but she doesn't do anything for herself .She has got thyroid problem and BP and that scares me even more . My parents are my big moral support . I was very close with them and to my brother ( who is in the U.S.) ( all in one , one place ) but it really scares me. I think a girl child feels more that way . I remember when my daughter was abt 4 or 5 yrs ( now she's 13 ), she asked us questions abt life, young , old etc. so when we explained to her , she immediately started to cry saying " I don't want you'll to get old. I want you'll to stay like this forever " . I was quite shocked to see her like that . She's very sensitive . My husband spoke to her several times and brought her out of it . When I read ur posts, I felt how come many have felt it the same way . I thot i was the only one and have not shared it with anyone so far . I really can't even think of it . I want them to be there for my children too b'cos my children are so fond of them ..........As I'm typing this , I 'm feeling heavy inside and feel like crying ........I just can't help it. Instead of supporting you'll , maybe I've added to it .I don't know . Let us believe that they'll be there to guide us for long . B'cos we want them forever .......

Love,
mallika

hi priyu,

Everyone passes through this phase...

On a personal note...i have been seriously ill a few times... my daughter does not say anything but i can sense the fear..........i had to tackle my son everyday for months ..... even last year...he is 9years now..........

"He will just hug me and cry saying I am scared to leave you and go to school..what if something happens to you while i am at school"...everyday it was a routine...to tell him i will be there when you come back..i am not going anywhere..." (and mallikka...i can relate to what you are going through..."

What i would suggest..let us not waste our thinking on what will be the scene after...let us use the time we have to cherish them,show them that we love them, making them feel happy....


MIL was very sick for last few years....we always tried to make her feel more happy...she left blessing us for the love......

Making sweeter memories...................that is what i am doing ....as I know life is short and sweet...........

I am guilty as charged for not lightening up the already heavy thread...sorry.....

Priya,

Though a short blog, but contains so much meaning in it.

What u fear is what we all fear.We all have our own fears.My mother is 75, hale and hearty, dad no more, but i too do feel the same.But then l console myself, we all have to go, and hence i make it a point to love everyone close to me,as much as i can.

My daughter is 20,and i fear soon she will marry and go away.So i try and spend as much time with her, and i enjoy her company.We have to accept it.

So be happy instead,and sopend more time with yr mother, andmake sure u dont regret later that i did not do this for my mom.

I have even discussed with wife, wht if i am dead before u, what will u do.I will write a blog on this subject soon.

Great one.Regards.kamal

Namaskarams!

I understand all your fear. I did have that fear myself. Last year both my parents passed away ina gap of 5 days. It was the biggest shock to me. I did not expect this. It happened so suddenly. Its been 10 months now. I used to talk to both my parents everyday of my life. First few months were horrible. There was not one day i have not picked up the phone to call them and then realize they are not there anymore. I still think about them everyday but i keep my self busy with other things and never have any free time. This is one relation that you will always think about whether they are alive or not. Don't think and be afraid of what might happen in the future. Just enjoy talking to them and just being around them while they are alive.

Hello IndianFlower,
I feel sorry for what had happened to you.
Same time you are really brave.


Take care,
Punitha