Different Sides

Recently we attended the Garba at our local place and ofcourse the place was packed with Women and girls and boys and also men all attired in their fine jewellery , lovely clothes. They had two sides arranged for viewing of the dances being performed in the center. Men on one side and Women on the other side. I did sit with family and friends , mix of both men and women, but apparently thats not the norm. When I happened to visit the BAPS temple recently the same scene was played where women sat apart from men almost like two seperate sections. At our local Hindu temple there really is not strict seperations. People more involved with the bhajan or puja sit up front and late comers sit at the back. I always sit with family irrespective of all these sections. I cannot understand why they seperate because are we not one before God?

Anandchitra,

This is one of things that bugs me as well...the reason given from the higher beings of the temple (and confirmed by my dad as he is an actively devoted member) is that if the men and women sit together, there is a tendency for your mind/thinking to be in the wrong place (there is an energy that our minds and bodies radiate when both genders are together, as per them, that is not appropriate for the temple). And more than that, the people who have taken "diksha" will be tempted to return back to the "sansarik Jivan" when they see other "sansarik" devotees (married couples) together. The feeling that they don't want the "sants" to have is "vikaar" meaning lust. I know I am not doing a very good job explaining this.

I have a lot of questions and comments once I heard this but knowing how sensitive people get on this, I have left it alone.

Vib

Dear Vib
Thanks for "enlightening" me . I was not aware of such an explanation and you have worded so well. Dont you think its in our mind and if our focus is on God why should something else bother? Also I have seen so many women(men?) focus on each others jewellery clothes etc. In this day and age??

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Dear Vib
Thanks for "enlightening" me . I was not aware of such an explanation and you have worded so well. Dont you think its in our mind and if our focus is on God why should something else bother? Also I have seen so many women(men?) focus on each others jewellery clothes etc. In this day and age??

Dear Anandchithra,

I had never thought about this why do they seperate and all but whenever we go to a temple in our lclty there the same way men and women are seperated. though my hands will be together raised and my mouth uttering slokas and prayers my eye will be always on my husband not bcos of suspiscion that he may have a glance over other women but bcos i shouldnt miss him or he shouldnt utilise this opportunity to miss me in the crowd since im new (1 year of stay) to this place and dnt know the way to home.

that makes me worried always.

regards
vidyasundar

hey ac...
I have often seen this in temples and at bhajans and meetings....have wondered...but this angle is new to me....when in muscat, we used to go for picnics and all...some of our friends were muslims...they typically tend to sit aside as men folk and women folk... where in i would like to enjoy the banter as a single group.....

Dear AC,

This happens... We follow some of the traditions without knowing the real reaons... Which includes me also...

The reasons, which I can think of is:

Those days, husband and wife dont sit together. Females dont sit next to a male... Even today, my grand mother (mother's mom) will not stand in the same room and talk to my father... There will always be a messenger...

Secondly, the people can concentrate on the bhajan or the pooja rather than being distracted...

I couldnt think of any other reason... There may be some...

Dear VidyaSundar
You're reply is so interesting. For logisitcs reason you are reacting that way. But is it not possible for you both to stand near each other? Also the comfort level does increase given time giving you more confidence that you will not be left alone.

Shanthi
I recently heard that in Udupi temples when they serve food they seperate sections one for Brahmin people and other section for non brahmin people. what kind of segregation is it?? I never such things existed in such renowned temples and even to this day its being accepted by people.??!!

Dear AC,

at the end of any religious rituals, the person (grihasthu) offering the puja is asked / expected to feed a certain number of brahmins to get the puja phalam ( the benfits of doing the ritual). In the olden days the brahmins used to be recognised by their attire and the kum kum / vibhuthi namas on the fore head. But in modern times only the priests still follow the traditional attire and that too only when they are conducting the rituals and the rest (brahmins) are undistinguishable from the rest(non brahmins).

Udipi temples being famous for their annadanam rituals may be makes the lives of the devotees easier who wish to feed certain number of brahmins by offering those seperate feeding arrangements for the brahmins??

The seperation of the sexes while attending temple festivities / Rituals might have been to control rowdy behaviour by few even when in a place of worship. Since all the religious rituals require married men to be accompanied by their wives while doing the puja, accepting blessings/prasadam Or offering tambulam to the priest. We even have a specific side the wife should be sitting next to husband (is to his left or right ?? i can never get that right)

Personally we always sit as a family, ask our guests to approach the deities as a family and do aarathi to the deity as a family.

Now during parties the men flock together and the women flock together for obvious reasons( men talk politics and women talk clothes/jewellery ) and may be they involuntarily do the same when they see a lot of their own kind??

Blondie
So well written by you. Not a surprise !! You put it in words the thoughts behind these occurences. Initially I did consider it very curious and somewhat taken aback. Moreso when I try to explain to son and he questions why this segregation? More than once he has made me wonder or question an age old practice. Thanks for writing so neatly.