I too made a list !

Chitra - you answered your question yourself "spending time with my family" - that is the most important thing. Later in life, your son will remember mom cooking his favorite meal and watching football with you and not how you kept your house clean. I used to think that I had to keep my house orderly if not it was the worst thing ever! No - after a busy day at work, I dont like it if things are laying around - but I have learned to look the other way and get to it a bit later. Lists are great - they help you get organized - but not at the cost of yelling at your family. My daughter's room used to look like a bomb exploded there - it used to bother me - then I started ignoring it and and closed the door - the rest of the house looked fine and I was ok with it. You do the best you can - no one is judging you.

 

Dear Chitra,

you have described exactly what i go thru every weekend except that instead of temple/balashala it is soccerfield and other well turned out soccer moms with their perfectly made up hair, manicured hands and pedicured feet and all dressed appropriately for the weather . Me in my just washed hair and dressed in sweat pants and a shirt(no matter how hot it is ), chipped finger nails (due to doing dishes and cleaning).

All my resolutions of making more time for myself by delegating work around the house remain just that (resolutions only). But will never think of not being at my son's soccer games:tongue

 

AC, you are right and you did it right.
Quality time rather than quantity time is very much appreciated.
It is true.
Sometimes i feel very bad for not attending the 'birthday lunch' for the kids in school where parents are invited to have lunch with their kids on a day during the week proposed by the school.
I have other committments at house, you know what to expect from a typical mil. I was not able to move anywhere.
Due to my daughters' bugging I made it a point to have lunch when they are in their 5th grade, which will be their last year in the elementary school.
I hope they remember it.
Do you want to know how I made it on that day? I used to lie:shock: that there was a meeting in the school which I had to attend.
Poor me, a lie for no other reason, but I thought it is better to be with the interests of the kids than the lie itself.

sriniketan

 

Hi,

You said it... Spending quality time with the family is much much important than anything else.... When you spend time with your family, it is like you are creating memories for your kids.... This I read a big article in TOI... How long the kids will be with the parents... Once they grow they go out for college/profession etc... That time they will not have time for the parents.... When they have time we have to use it to the best...

I always tell my wife, if your house it spic & clean... and you have to maintain things at its place only.... then it is not house... It is museum.... Only there things will be kept in its place without moving.... Kids are meant to tear the house upside down... I agree we have to keep the house in a presentable manner... But that does not mean my kids has to forego their moments of happiness...

The kids can mess up the house only when they ar kids.... Not when they are adults....

May be I am wrong....

Veda

 

Hi Chitra,

Loved reading your List. Me, ys have tried a few times to make a list. But then I fall into yours and Blondie's camp. Ya, have gone to my sons classes with gravy or pasta sauce all smeared over my top!! and so on...

But like everyone else, i too cherish the time i spend with the family and everything else can wait. I am still trying to dismantle the " train depot " that has a permanent place in my living room, and now coming up is the Space center next to it.... and in the process if i stumble and fall a few times, well who cares... I have three men to take care of me

Vandhana

 

Dear AC,
An occurence in every home.
Just remember yours is a "home", not just a mere "house" - that should set your mind in peace !
At the same time list is a must, a stick-on on the fridge etc. Infact I even note down, what I must tell my daughter & DIL, when they phone. Very often we say " I wanted to tell you something important, but can't remember it now" !
Inspite of quality time, quantity time etc ( these were not known to me in my younger days), a list is a must to be more organised.
This habit has got ingrained even in my GDs, that there is a big white board in their rooms with a list of "do"s.
Let us cultivate in our children, the habit of organising themselves along with messing up.
The former is necessary once they grow up & cannot be developed overnight.
Sorry, if I am a misfit in this thread sounding like a "matron" !
Love
To
Chitra
From
Chithra.