Has the Love Gone!!!!!!!!

Hi,

August 30^th was my wife’s birth day….I wanted to know what she wants for her Birthday... I asked her what she wants…As one of my friend is going to Chennai and from there to Madurai I told her that I will send it through him... She said she doesn’t want anything…. I jokingly replied …I thought you will tell me “I want you”….. She very coolly said “I will tell you that but before I meet Cheenu, my friend, I will meet you…So I didn’t tell you” came the reply….In fact if she had told me that I would have gone, as I was planning to go to Chennai for 2 days for her Birthday, I blocked the tickets and kept it….

On 29^th night I was watching a stupid movie till night 11 and gave her a call, so that by that time it would have crossed 12.30 in India and wished her Happy Birthday. The next day morning we had a long chat…. We talked about the first few years of marriage… Earlier till 7/8 years before….. If any of our (me, my wife & kids) birthday or our wedding anniversary we used to purchase new dress and I will take off and spend the day together….My friends used to comment Veda’s National Holiday….After moving out of Chennai, all these were gone….

Where it has gone…. Why…..It is not that we don’t love each other any more…… What is the reason…?

We had a long introspection ourselves… When we were in Muscat every week when we go for shopping, we buy some dress or other. Jewellery we keep purchasing depending upon the occasion….So we have lost too much importance for purchasing the Dress... My wife has a very Good/Bad habit…Even today she will be having one or two New dress which I would have purchased 2 years before…. She will wear the New Dress soooooo Fast… and I am just the opposite…

More than the Materialistic Gifts the understanding and the love for each other has gone up significantly…. When we first came to Muscat, seven years back, she started a practice…Since Friday is a holiday over here; she said Friday is a Family Day… Starting from the morning coffee till dinner we will have the food together and the evening will be spent seeing a good movie or a long drive together…On that day, no arguments, no fights, no shouting nothing… We spend the day happily…. She will finish all washing/cleaning of the house the previous day and will have no other work than cooking on that day…She will make special dishes for us, so that we enjoy the food….In case if I have some urgent work, we all go together to the office and they will be waiting till I complete the work and come back together…. This built a very strong relationship and understanding between us…My wife worked really hard on this……

Now, no gifts are required… We love each other so much these things don’t matter any more… We want to be there for each other…. No talking ….. No words… Sheer presence will do….She may be in the kitchen, but always her thoughts will be with me… every two minutes she keeps asking…. Vedhoo what to do with this and how is this….. Something or the other…. It is not the discussion…. It is secondary… Feeling the presence gives immense happiness ….

We understood that we have not lost the love for each other but it has gone beyond materialistic expectations…We have not compromised or adjusted to/with each other, but understood and loved each other….

Open to comments….and also others experiences…..

Veda

Vedaji,

A wonderful expression of true love and affections seen from your posts.

True love remains in our hearts and no materialistic gifts can compensate our mutual understandings and the realities.

Keep posting more...

Me & My wife are married in the year 1985 and till date we doesnot quarrel or argue over petty things.

It's a God sent Gift for me to have such an inspiring wife who not only understand me and our mutual trust we have extended by sharing respects to eachother, sharing all joy and sorrows and be an example to our kids.

The day we spend for few hours with our family and discuss, listen to each others solves many misunderstandings. That's my experiances.

Subbu

Dear vedaji, I agree with u 200%. As the years go by and the understanding grows between husband wife materialistic things do not matter. Sheer presence is enough. We r married for 15 years. My husband always loves being with me. I too love being with him. He will be busy watching some movie in the TV and i will be sitting opposite to him solving my sudukos. But still we love each other. one kind word, a loving look and an affectionate hug is sufficient. Materialistic things are not needed. Thanks for the thought provoking writeup.

dear veda,
it is like a mills and boon to me, but this is reality, nice to hear it again and again from any human who knows the value of spouse and his friendship. u r into the loving years now, that is y other things are not important, yes the very presence is enough, ask people who do not have one like that, and they will tell u the value of what u have with u...sunkan

Originally Posted by sunkan

dear veda,
it is like a mills and boon to me, but this is reality, nice to hear it again and again from any human who knows the value of spouse and his friendship. u r into the loving years now, that is y other things are not important, yes the very presence is enough, ask people who do not have one like that, and they will tell u the value of what u have with u...sunkan

hi sunkan,

sunkan,
Common most of the m&b's i have read dont tell about the after of the ever after..they just stop at a very crucial position.. like movies depicting the end at the end of a marriage very few depict/give us a insight into what is in store after...

you learn by trials and errors...now i have been doing this weekend ritual smoothly that a lot of my friends try to follow at least 50% of it.. because the other 50% should come from the family...

....enjoy it as is available today...tomorrow kids will fly out of the nest..but these are the memories that they have of their family.

Hi,

LOVE HAS NOT GONE ANYWHERE IT JUST CHANGED ITS FORM WHICH CAN ONLY BE FELT AND UNDERSTOOD.


This is what I learnt after my 5 years of married life.


Krish.