Self Pity- I Hate Thee.

wikipedia defines, self pity as

Self-pity is a psychological.state of mind of a person in a perceived adverse situation who has not accepted the situation and does not have the confidence or ability to cope with it. It is characterised by the person's belief that he or she is the victim of events and is therefore deserving of condolence.

Self pity exists as a real emotion. All real emotions have a positive and a negative side. The positive side of pity lies with its powers of making you numb. It puts you to sleep. It wraps you in a cocoon - and keeps you in a illusion of safety .
Self pity to be the single most addictive thing in the world, partly because no one will admit to having it in the first place.

The very powers that make self pity so necessary for childhood and adolescence also make it so repulsive for the grownup. As a grownup, however, pity becomes a burden. for a child it is like sucking its thumb and holding a security blanket. For a grownup, well... you're not going to win respect from anybody even self.

On the other side, self pity numbs your thoughts and feelings and even your very actions in the world. Often, it is used to manipulate others to get what you want. It becomes a way to punish others.
The person swamped with self pity really is leading a pathetic life, filled with problems and struggle. Life really is difficult when you're wallowing in self pity. Bad things really do happen. And one of the characteristics of pity - you always have to blame it on somebody even if it's blaming yourself.
Self-pitiers usually look outside of themselves for the source of their problems and struggle.
Also, pity separates you. It separates you from yourself, from other people, from your world, and from your power.
Pity is an enemy of choice. It's hard to make choices when you're filled with pity. And when you do choose, those choices lack any kind of strength.
Very little changes when you're in pity.

So the next time, you think why me god, think again.....

I know there are lot of people out there who are wallowing in self pity. Today science and doctors say self-pity is also a disease. you cannot just snap out of it as is told by people around you. There are lot of research towards developing pharmaceutical treatment of self pity. So if you are feeling self-pity, help yourself. say doctors,by...

Deal with an onset of self-pity by treating yourself to a comfort food like ice cream or potato chips. You need it to help you get through this difficult time. This is particularly true if you pity yourself because you're fat.

While battling self-pity, avoid any potential stressors. Stay home from work, don't exercise, and don't do any household chores. You've already done so much, you deserve a break.

Inform your family, friends and co-workers of your condition and remind them of it as often as possible. Otherwise, they might forget and accidentally do something that could compound your misery.

Yes, Shanthi, Me too ! Just hate Self pity. Its masochism. Like ,whats the use,yaar ! Things only get worse. And "Self pity is enemy of choice.."so very true.

Y'kno, i hated watching some old Shivaji Ganesan movies precisely because the guy would always get into massive episodes of SELF PITY and sing things like "poo ponra en nenjam .... " " enathu kaigal meetum pothu veenai azhuginrathu..." some such .Loser ! I mean, nice poetry of course but ugh ! What a weepy wimp !.... Come to think of it, most old southern movies capitalised on either the hero or the heroine wilting and melting in gallons of glycerine and self pity. Was considered "good acting"!:rolleyes:

regards
selfpitiless manjula

Dear Shanthi,
Self pity is detrimental to a person's progress. Only those who face life challenges boldy come up in life. People will get dischanted with those wallowing in self pity. I too hate people who laments in self pity.
Love,
Pushpavalli

I too hate self pity.Self pity hinders one's progress.

Hi

Self pity comes to a person only when he goes through -ve patches one after the other....

There is a great tamil saying== Pattakaliley ye padum, ketta kudiye kedum.... I dont know the exact words... The meaning being that when bad patch comes it doesnt come in single instance..... you will have all together...

Self pity is ok... But wallowing in self pity and not doing to come out of the tight corners is BAD.....

So.... Let him/her wallow in self pity, but think properly and come out of the bad patch.......

My 2 bit .......

Veda

Originally Posted by Manjureddy

Yes, Shanthi, Me too ! Just hate Self pity. Its masochism. Like ,whats the use,yaar ! Things only get worse. And "Self pity is enemy of choice.."so very true.

Y'kno, i hated watching some old Shivaji Ganesan movies precisely because the guy would always get into massive episodes of SELF PITY and sing things like "poo ponra en nenjam .... " " enathu kaigal meetum pothu veenai azhuginrathu..." some such .Loser ! I mean, nice poetry of course but ugh ! What a weepy wimp !.... Come to think of it, most old southern movies capitalised on either the hero or the heroine wilting and melting in gallons of glycerine and self pity. Was considered "good acting"!:rolleyes:

regards
selfpitiless manjula

hi manju,

I really hate tear jerkers. i watch a movie to entertain myself. the list of songs ... . poo chittu kannangal.. veedu varai... meluguvathhi erigindradu....though agreed it may have a message or nice poetry...but too much for me. my kids dont want to see any of them......

Me too hate self pity. You may notice that I always reply postively to all those tear jerking threads which people write. But have you noticed one thing, when we reply positively, they immediately try to negate that and come back to their own point. I feel they are not seeking answers but like minded people.

I totally agree with Vysan - a person becomes victim of self pity when he is under many negative phase for a long time................

Shanthi, I never watch any tear jerking soaps on tv nor any movies. I do not like sad songs too.. Now that reminds me one of my friend had a heart break. During that phase she called me up to swtich on my tv to hear a particular song. It was a sad song. She had decided to dwelll in it. I hate negative approach also.................

Hi,
self pity is fine if you are not wallowing in it. Change your attitude. that changes everything. If there are too many -ves coming to you fundamentally you are wrong somewhere. a person with postive attitude learns from the -ve instead of feeling pity.
One way out of self-pity is to use your perspective and then do something with the abundance .

Get up and get moving. Put one foot in front of the other, Then do it again. Keep doing this, and you will build a momentum that leaves no room for self-pity.

Originally Posted by shanvy

Hi,
self pity is fine if you are not wallowing in it. Change your attitude. that changes everything. If there are too many -ves coming to you fundamentally you are wrong somewhere. a person with postive attitude learns from the -ve instead of feeling pity.
One way out of self-pity is to use your perspective and then do something with the abundance .

Get up and get moving. Put one foot in front of the other, Then do it again. Keep doing this, and you will build a momentum that leaves no room for self-pity.

Well said shanthi, you are like me.................. I do not let any negtive aspect of my life rule me............... It should be the same with everyone. be positve, think positive, think positive, act positive and the result will be positive....

Thanks mals.