Gym write-offs :)

"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down."
-Rita Rudner

[JUSTIFY]- “So how much is it for the membership?”

I wait for a figure…..er, a numerical one in this case that would cause my innards to shrink notably.

- “33.50$ for a fortnight”

- “Really? Whereas it is 12.50$ for one visit??”

- “Yes”

I should have wondered what the catch was but then I rushed in, in accordance with the proverbial quote “Fools rush in…”. Even for someone with very little mental agility when it comes to calculations, I brave to do the math and figure out the membership would work out better if I were to make two visits a week to the sacred site.

- “So do you have any cancellation fees?”

- “Nope, just 14 days notice.”

Boredom is starting to set in the tones of the junior serving me…..perhaps at least here, I should have stopped and asked myself twice……but no, I was too taken in by Dame Providence and also anxious that the 17 year old might hike up the prices if I keep pushing her buttons of ennui.

- “Allright, I will take the membership, you are sure about the fees right?”

The teen just catches herself in time from doing an eye-roll and gives me a grimace which I interpret as a polite smile and am sure if DaVinci had been around, he would have made billions titling it the “Mona Lisa – II” or perhaps better “The Return of the Jaconda”.

I hurriedly fill the application form and sign my long scrawl with a flourish. The girl fills in the amount and then slowly enunciates the figure for my benefit.

- “75$ for a one-off admin deposit along with the fortnightly deduction – total amount comes around to 120$”

As I am still digesting the news of the 75$ sprung upon me, I dont fully understand the extra 11.50$ she has tacked on – perhaps fleecing me for the indubitable service she had provided.

I try to summon the right dosage of anger, but incredulity is still reigning high in my voice :

-“Should you not be telling me about these fees before I signed the registration form?”

- “Yeah I should have, I am sorry – are you still interested in the membership?”

I am starting to palpitate, even without stepping into my bodypump classes that are due to start any minute. I eye at the clock and the girl at the reception – I know I am going to regret the new few minutes of my life where I go against my common sense and my financial radar and with an imperceptible nod of my head, wilfully become the sacrificial goat at the reception of the town’s (perhaps sole) fitness club. I enter into the classes, the enthusiasm that I had a few minutes earlier all dissipated and in its place a sour aftertaste left by the monetary transaction.

An hour passes by quickly and though less enthralled by the audio tracks for the bodypump routine, I am not disappointed by the class and am hoping to frequent these sessions more in the future. With a pounding heart and quaking legs, not all as a consequence of the rigorous drill that I had subjected myself to, I drive home. No sooner had I entered the house, did I bemoan my gullible nature and render my narration with the right amount of indignant anger and histrionics to Anna, my better half (literally in all matters, especially fiscal) and the financial comptroller of the family. Contrary to my hopes, I fail to evoke any sympathy in my audience……..the end result, temperature within the house falls further by a few more degrees despite the double dose of heating provided by the reverse cycle air conditioner and the fan-heater propped next to me.

Blessed with a metabolism that even His Maker would envy and a bevy of friends willing to play badminton almost every day of the week, Anna does not understand my need to bequeath a substantial amount of money every once in a while on gym memberships. By far, Anna is the most unconventional and broad-minded Indian husband I have seen amongst my circle of friends, with a healthy respect for his equal, despite my exasperating and futile attempts at maturity. However, given my past history with fitness programs and sporadic visits to gyms, Anna is of the opinion that the only toning that these expenses have sustained are that of our bank balance He firmly believes that any weight loss that I might have gained is more out of guilt with all the money I throw away on these sessions rather than attending them.

A few years ago, I would have bristled at the slightest excuse despite the validity of his accusations but lately I have been seeing the error of my ways and so I rather dejectedly but solemnly give him my word that I really would see this membership through. I have always been a couch potato, never one for stringent exercises or fitness regimes, but lately I realise I am not getting any younger and hence the serious and much-needed closer look at my health. Given that my food intake has reduced quite drastically lately and I am reaching emaciated standards (according to my family), I am resorting to rather painful attempts to incite my hunger pangs. Hopefully my exertions might pay off but still that has not stopped my family from wagering against my gym visits

Anyone else wanna place a bet on my fitness expeditions ????

PS: It has been three days since my last gym visit as I am still crawling around like the house like an octogenarian painfully aware of every muscle in my body [/JUSTIFY]

 

Tell you what Aruna, have you ever thought of opening something like Curves in Egypt ) And charge it dirt-cheap, am sure you will become an overnight celebrity with all these women flocking to you. It is horrendous the way these gyms fleece our money, especially the exorbitant prices in Egypt is so shocking !!!

I am now trying to stick to my gym sessions, funnily enuf I seem to be enjoying it so far. I hope I still persevere when it gets tooooo cold to step out........brrrr

I am glad you enjoyed the post
Hugs,
Sujatha

 

Dear Knots,

Luv to hear from you on this post here as well ) Hit pay dirt twice with your comments, what you reckon )

Ha, I really admire your persistence in sticking for atleast 6 mths - am sure in another couple of weeks I would slowly have selective amnesia about my gym sessions And once again Anna will chalk down this latest fiasco to yet another one of my spending sprees

Mmm, gonna ask you something, but guess will do it over the FB msg.......

See you dearie,
Sujatha

 

Ha ha dear Mindi, yep I would have definitely envied you once upon a time as well !!! But lately I have been deflating at the wrong places and it is no more fun when you find your once perfect jeans no longer sitting well on the bottom.......definitely not the time to change an entire wardrobe.......lol. I just need something to ensure that I gain a good appetite and start looking healthy instead of a pallid appearance. Besides I seem to love these group sessions - they motivate me better than an hr on the treadmill by myself. Wish me luck, hope I continue these sessions )

Cheers,
Sujatha

 

Wow Balajee, just 2000 Rs is indeed a good deal !!! I indeed understand what you mean by missing out on the group sessions - somehow seeing other people workout with you seems to fill you with more enthu.....in my case I think when I see more people struggling in the same boat as I, I am indeed filled with quite a workout bliss.....LOL

It needs real dedication to exercise at home, somehow I have never succeeded at that. Remember getting some equipment ( of course contrary to Anna's advice) and later we had to literally beg Salvation Army to come and take it for free when we were clearing out the house........dont think Anna has forgiven me for that yet )

Cheers,
Sujatha