1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Ye Olde Herbivore!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by ojaantrik, Dec 20, 2009.

  1. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,535
    Likes Received:
    2,437
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    [FONT=&quot]My wife is a diehard fish eater. Most Bengali women are, in fact, created that way. A bit like cats I guess. I swear though that she doesn't sport a tail, even if she treats me as one. I enjoy my fish too, but not the same way that she does. For her, a fish-less day bears a precarious resemblance to the hapless day Yudhishthira encountered hell. And believe me, she enjoys her fish to the last fish-bone she crushes, chews and extracts the juice out of! [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]
    I love my food, non-vegetables included, but I'm not an expert in the food technology. It's she who loves buying the raw materials for the delicious victuals she prepares. And I cannot help admiring the ecstasy in her eyes when she dances back home with what she calls a live fish, even when it looks as dead as a doornail!

    "It was still jumping," she informed me with unadulterated excitement this morning, meaning thereby that it was gasping as it struggled for life when its flesh was being weighed prior to being slaughtered. Believe me friends, such live fish are the tastiest of them all.

    I know of course that I shall enjoy the fish curry she will prepare. Yet, I need to admit that she made me worry, just as much as I worry to distraction every time she succeeds in laying her hands on "live" fish. On all such occasions, I temporarily put on a vegetarian-hat and ask the question that people have asked ever since human beings were created.

    "Do I have the right to destroy a creature that I can't recreate, especially one that has never done me any harm?" Quite obviously, I know the answer only too clearly, as clearly indeed as I have known it the innumerably many times the question stood in my way. I can't possibly evade the grim reality of the answer. The result is that I begin to bother myself with other inane questions. Such as, "Does God exist? If he does, then will I not be answerable to him on the day they push me inside the crematorium?" Assuming of course that God will keep me company inside the burning chamber.

    And the contradiction in my daily existence continues. Like any other animal eater, I do enjoy sinking my teeth into well-cooked flesh. And there is no end to the variety of meat that I have partaken of. I am no cannibal of course, but I have rarely shirked from eating delicacies offered to me across the world. Fish, yes, any kind indeed, from large to small, cooked as well as
    raw-fish Japanese style. Meat too, though I have got to admit that I've never eaten a cat or a dog and I did shudder when I learnt about a delicacy from the Far East prepared with cats' eyes. I understand that a row of eyes, exotically garnished, stare at you from the middle of the finest bone China when they serve you the meal.

    Nor, for that matter, have I ever tried to taste a tiger, alive or dead. And this thought, I mean chewing over (Ha, ha, what a silly pun!) tigers, lions, hyenas and all the rest of the dreaded carnivores (leaving aside predatory human-eatarians, needless to say), brings me pretty close to the heart of this gastro-philosophical discourse. I find myself trapped in fact in the Socratic Method of Elenchus, or dialectics if you will.

    "Isn't the tiger engaged in the same sin that I commit everyday?" ask I, doffing the veggie-hat.

    "No, it isn't," answer I to myself, this time in my role as a veggie-hatter.

    "Why not prey?" say I, vh-less.

    "I am no prey, don't use such language. I'll call you a dirty scoundrel next time," I reply, vh back in place.

    "That's what happens to veggies. They mistake polite for impolite language. Ok, I will call you a rotten veggie instead. Well, tell me rv, why isn't the tiger sinning?" I reiterate, baring my pate. No hat.

    "Simple answer, ds! God didn't endow the tiger with a mind that can ask ethical or moral questions. He didn't deprive you of one, even though you happen to be a ds. Use that mind and ask. You can survive on vegetables alone. In fact, quite apart from moral questions, I doubt that tigers can digest grass. They are physiologically different." I the veggie-hatter gives I the non-veggie-hatter a ds, this last ds being an acronym for dirty smile. Sorry, I am running out of acronyms.

    "Idiot! Do you know that my wife can't survive on vegetables either? Like the tigress, she is physiologically different. And now, don't you make snide remarks about my wife. It will arouse the cannibal in me," I growled, imitating as well as I could a hungry leopard who has spotted a lonesome goat. "And remember, cannibals prefer veggies to non-veggies."

    "Look, don't bring wives into this discussion. Women are beautiful creatures. This fact alone compensates for everything else." Vh was clearly on the defensive.

    "Good," said I to I, somewhat placated. "Don't say anything against non-veggies. It will implicate my pretty wife." I grinned, my teeth in full view of myself, a reminder of possible cannibal propensities.

    Veggie fell silent at this juncture, partly scared, but more importantly attracted by a little news item. In fact, the non-veggie I actually pointed it out to him. He was literate I found as he read it with the speed of lightening. Here is the unedited clipping.

    "The Daily Telegraph, London , Dec. 5. Garden vegetables such as tomatoes and potatoes have been found to be deadly killers on a par with Venus fly traps, according to research.

    Botanists have discovered for the first time that the plants are carnivorous predators who kill insects in order to 'self-fertilise' themselves.

    New research shows that they capture and kill small insects with sticky hairs on their stems and then absorb nutrients through their roots when the animals decay and fall to the ground.

    It is thought that the technique was developed in the wild in order to supplement the nutrients in poor quality soil -- but even domestic varieties grown in your vegetable patch retain the ability.

    The killer plants have been identified as among a host of species that are thought to have been overlooked by botanists and explorers searching the world's remotest regions for carnivorous species.

    The number of carnivorous plants is thought to have been underestimated by up to 50 per cent and many of them have until now been regarded as among the most benign of plants."

    "Ye Olde Herbibore," guffawed Ye Olde Carnivore, "What sayst thou to this bit of intelligence? Are you ethically justified in eating a potato any longer?"

    There was no reply. I looked around. Not a sign of the vh. He had melted into thin air. Total silence reigned, except for the light snore my pw produced through her nostrils as she blissfully dreamed about a hilsa filled Haldia world.

    Peace at last. Like Chaplin's Monsieur Verdoux, I think I am finally at peace with God. Perhaps I don't have any conflict with humanity either, but then this may be a contentious issue. It all depends, as the wise might say, on your point of view.
    [/FONT]
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2009
    Loading...

  2. mithila kannan

    mithila kannan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,400
    Likes Received:
    189
    Trophy Points:
    155
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear OJ,

    Your article brought to my mind an interesting matter that I and my DH had the fortung or misfortune to observe,many many years back.
    One of my dh's colleagues was a Bengali.He was posted in Kurnool,in AP.Mr.Ghosh,my husband's colleague,and his family were also diehard fish eaters.Life became hell for them without their choice of fish,they used to enjoy in the north.Finally they found out a market nearby where there were many fish vendors.Mr.G was delighted.so was his wife.Every morning the went to the market to buy.their heart's delight,so we were told.Now the fish vendors smelled,something in the aIR IE THEY CAME TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS TALL HANDSOME MAN AND HIS FAMILY COULD NOT BREATHE WITHOUT EATING A FISH .tHEY WERE VERY CLEVER.tHE MOMENT g ENTERED THE MKT,one of them woud cry out in telugu,"bangalivadu usthadura"ie the Bengali man has come.All of them would increase the price of fish by many folds.If the real price of a kg was 40Rs,they increased the price to 100 very coolly.Poor G,he whimpered but bought the fish all the same. Some friends suggested to him to send his servant to the mkt ,a local man so that the vendors won't act smart.But a true fish eater that he was he wanted to select them himself.There was a rumour in the air that he requested,fish allowance for him .
    Any way,he stayed there for a COUPLE OF YEAS AND THEN WAS TRANSFERRED MUCH TO THE DELIGHT OF HIS FAMILY .
    I too read the news about the tomoto and potato plants being carnivorous.Even milk is non vegetarian onlyif we see that way,right?
    My principle is,one man's food is another man's poison.if all of us turn vegetarians,will there be space for us to stand on this earth?


    Regards
    mithila kannan
     
  3. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    3,346
    Trophy Points:
    355
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear oj da,

    I enjoyed the dramatic narration and dialogues between the veggie and the non veggie…:)

    To each his own and how true… if the whole world changed into vegetarianism where would we go for food, I shudder to think.

    It is very sad to hear the way a cow is milked..The calf is taken to suckle and when the flow of milk is nice and rich the calf is pushed away and the human milks the poor unsuspecting cow..Can anything be more cruel than this….so morality wise a V is not greater than a NV…

    Though a staunch veggie I am no longer appalled at the more adventurous non veggie...

    btw oj da..do tell me more of your avataar......it looks real scary:)))))
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2009
  4. Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,795
    Likes Received:
    1,177
    Trophy Points:
    345
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Oja sir,
    Your narration is par excellence that I am able to visualize the veggie and non veggie.A pure vegetarian like me came to know how to eat fish from your post!! My feeling is
    , people choose to be vegetarians for reasons other than cost. Parental preferences, religious or other beliefs, and health issues are among the most common reasons for choosing to be a vegetarian. Many people choose a vegetarian diet out of concern over animal rights or the environment. And lots of people have more than one reason for choosing vegetarianism.A stricter form of vegetarianism is veganism(vee-gun-izm). Not only are eggs and dairy products excluded from a vegan diet, so are animal products like honey and gelatin. A vegetarian diet can be a very healthy option but it is important to ensure it is well balanced. You could stuff your face with chips and chocolate at every meal and be vegetarian but you wouldn’t be doing your health much good.
    But do not say, "

    "I did not become a vegetarian for my health, I did it for the health of the chickens."

    With love
    pad
     
  5. Jpatma

    Jpatma Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,550
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Oj san,
    There is no one in IL who can make such lovely narration with language and humor.(Thanks to Cheeniya for roping you in).

    Being veg or non veg is the choice you make. Right or wrong does not exist here.
    I will not kill an living creature to satifsy my hunger if veg is available. But if i am in poles i have to kill a seal to satisfy my hunger and iam sure i will do that. Only that i will not kill 2 seals at a time. So is it wrong to be non veg at this context?

    So let us leave the decision to individual, meanwhile let me enjoy your play of words.
    Jaya
     
  6. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,535
    Likes Received:
    2,437
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    @ mithila kanan

    That was funny as well as a very real story. I know that this has happened to many Bengalis across India. In fact, till the news got around, both fish and meat were very cheap in Delhi, at least compared to Kolkata. And then, with the Bengali population growing there and the fishmongers discovering the taste pattern, raised the price exponentially.

    This was an excellent observation!

    Thanks for reading.

    oj
     
  7. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,521
    Likes Received:
    1,436
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    OJ da,
    Ongoing dialogue, between V and NV is enjoyable to read and discuss and putting an end to that dialogue by roping in your dw..is very realistic!

    sriniketan
     
  8. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,535
    Likes Received:
    2,437
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    @ minidi



    Thanks Mindi. 'All the world's a stage' after all. :)

    You know, I once read a science fiction which said the same thing and more. In fact, it said that humanity had reached a point of time when all sources of food had been exhauseted, including sea weeds. It was quite a story. They had imposed a rule that no one could have children anymore without a license, on account of the food shortage. On the other hand, scientists had made sure that no one could die anymore. So, no deaths, no births, no food. Quite a situation!

    I have ofter thought about this cow vs calf cruelty. They say that the cow produces more milk than the calf needs. Even if that is true, the way they milk the cow is horrible to say the least.

    Good, we are friends!! :thumbsup

    It is the photograph of a gigantic Japanese mask that I clicked in Aomori several years ago during a festival. They are unbelievably colourful. But yes, a little scary too! :hide:

    oj-da
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2009
  9. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,535
    Likes Received:
    2,437
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    @ Padmini

    You speak wisely Padmini. Fortunately, neither my wife nor I take extreme views. During our South India trips, we invariably turn into complete vegetarians. Don't miss the meat or the fish at all. I was merely dramatizing when I spoke of my wife's preferences. Of course, she loves her fish, but not to distraction. In fact during our visit to Mysore, it was the chicken that made her fall sick! She has a serious physical ailment related to her digestive system.

    Btw, I didn't BECOME a non-veggie. I was born non-veggie. If anything, I become a veggie from time to time. Besides, I neither smoke nor drink. That's a bit better than being a non-v, an alcoholic and a smoker all put together. Right?

    A request. Please don't address me as oj-sir. Being a Bengali, I prefer "oj-da" to "oj-sir". Of course, "oj-sir" is OK too, if it makes you feel more comfortable.

    oj
     
  10. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,535
    Likes Received:
    2,437
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    @ Jaya san

    Time is a lousy beautician? I wonder. Isn't beauty supposed to lie in the eyes of the beholder? Food for thought.

    Anyway, I think you have raised a meaningful and loaded question. What do you eat during your stopover in the North Pole? Surely not polar bears. They are the ones that are more likely to eat you I guess. So, my advice is: Cancel this crazy North Pole trip you are planning. You are one of the very few who care to read my posts and I don't want to lose you to a polar bear of all things.

    All the best.

    oj
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2009

Share This Page