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Back to basics

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Jpatma, Nov 29, 2009.

  1. Jpatma

    Jpatma Silver IL'ite

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    Just when I thought my life was getting off to a streamlined process after my DH passed away, my maid announced that she was thinking of returning to <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">Indonesia</st1:country-region></st1:place> for good.
    “Oh My God”! I shrieked “You simply can’t leave me to cope with all the housework on my own. I don’t even know the intricacies of ironing (those different settings and ironing as to the folds of the clothes like in pleated skirt) & cooking, how am to I clean up the <st1:City w:st="on">Hiroshima</st1:City> and <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Nagasaki</st1:City></st1:place> created by me in the name of cooking?’ At least that’s what I wanted to say, but politely smiled and feigned a headache and retired to my bedroom and lay down to contemplate a life sans help.

    House work is at the best of times, a series of insanely tedious activities that needs to be done over and over again until your brain turns to mush and fingernails rot. No matter how spotless your house is before you go to bed at night, the following day the dust will be settled on the coffee table, there will be another heap of laundry and lizards would have pooped in difficult to reach corner.
    Neanderthal women didn’t have to worry about things like polishing the furniture or have disinfected blue water in the toilet or cut carrots in floral shapes for stir fried vegetables.
    Typical Neanderthal woman would get up every morning, shake the crumbs from the bearskin dress, give herself a good scratch, throw the left over out of the cave and then pick some berries for the family. No cleaning schedule, no gold rimmed chinaware for cleaning, no silver for polishing.
    .
    Since hygiene and sanitation was not in their language, Neanderthal women didn’t have to cope with domestic afflictions which we women face, the dishwater hands that have all the texture of the industrial grade hand paper or cracked heels that can wedge coins into.

    Though I don’t get up at the crack of the dawn, make idlies or Dosa as per Chithra’s recipe, nor hand grind in attukal for it, mill the rice at home, nor fold the napkin to the shape of swan for the dinner table, I still need to do some house chores like watching TV, sms to friends, log on IL, a telephone call here and there etc etc.

    Well, at least thats’ what we will be doing if we listened to the lifestyle Guru and ex-con Martha Stewart. She is the same woman who told us to use Alka Seltzer (normally used for upset stomach) to clean your toilet bowl, remove stains from the bottom of the vase and bring the sparkle back to lackluster jewellery. If you want to save money (my tip) pop everything into the toilet bowl for a while (just 2 tablets for the lot) – but please inform other members of your family of the cleaning in progress. Otherwise you can kiss your jewellery goodbye as it is flushed around the U bend.

    Getting back to the day I was lying in bed in a state of shock, I tried to think of minimize the amount of work I will be forced to do when my maid eventually returns to her family-& the child labor I utilize (my DS) to assist, that’s when occurred to me that some of the decorative items in my bedroom are bit labor intensive. You see – every night before I sleep, I remove the 3 decorative cushions from my bed (I only need pillow and bolster & cushions made to match my curtain are just a show piece). Then I strip of the bedspread which was tailored to match the color of my curtain but not used for sleeping purpose. I fold it (at times) and leave it by the armchair by the side along with the cushions. I retrieve the old frayed comforter which I had hidden under the satin comforter and use it along when I go to sleep. Somehow I am emotionally attached to the old comforter though it has seen many good old days.

    Next morning, my maid will reverse the whole series of procedure. Though this activity takes only 3-5 minutes a day, just imagine 5 minutes a day- @ 365 days @3 years (my maid had been in service with me for 3 years). So many man hours wasted by this simple chore.

    The wasteful hours (I am particular about not wasting time and money-though I have many clothes in the cupboard which I haven’t used at all, because it looked nice on the mannequin) is almost giving me indigestion. I am going to go on a simpler life. Now, where did I put the Alka Seltzer?

    Thinking in similar lines, another process where I do and then undo is wearing clothes. I put on a garb and then reverse it by taking it out for washing. As per my calculation a lot my time is wasted on this, taking into account from the time I independently learnt put on and take off clothes , may be I should be using only fig leaves ……………………….. then no clothes, no laundry, no ironing and no money spent on clothes. What a saving in time and money. All I need is to grow a fig tree. These sans clothes which we see nowadays are not to save a chore but in the name of fashion. I’m not fashion conscious, am only chore conscious in view of the future sans help.
     
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  2. Deaf woman

    Deaf woman Senior IL'ite

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    Haha Jaya mam,
    What wonderful ideas to do away with chores!!Just the thought of my maid's absence for a few days makes me think as if my life came to an end .Growing a fig tree sounds like a good idea to me too, try patenting it before anyone can use it ,what do you say?:ideaHad A HEARTY LAUGH reading your post .

     
  3. BeeAmma

    BeeAmma Silver IL'ite

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    Hi JPatma,
    You write so well. Loved reading your thread.

    I was in a similar situation after coming to the US. In India we had maids and helpers for everything (just like any middle class family). I did not have to be worried about cooking, cleaning, ironing, paying the bills. Everything changed when I got here. It has taken me years to figure out a routine that works for me. However now I enjoy being free of the need to have a maid/helper.

    My house is not spotlessly clean. It is tolerably clean and I have made a routine and optimized the regular tasks such as cleaning of kitchen, bathroom, laundry, dusting and vacuuming. These routines help me maintain my sanity:).
     
  4. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Jay,
    Back to basics is such a lovely title & drew me here immediately!
    On reading your post, I could not help imagining how, back to basics would keep me trim, healthy without having ever to bother about increase in weight, arthritIS, spondulosIS…. etc.
    Taking water from the well with a pulley, grinding for idli in the attukal, for chutney in the ammikal, washing clothes after keeping immersed in soap water a bucket (remember how many ‘bending up and down’ it will require?), wringing the wet clothes with hands, sweeping and swabbing, not to forget cooking on the floor with no counter top. I could have remained ‘endrum iLamai’ atleast in figure!!
    Alas, no more to be!! Studying Vedanta for so many years, I still cannot follow the first lesson of the Gita – dependence creates sorrow; learn to shed it! I am just not able to come out of the dependence on my maid for a few of my chores, though not all the above mentioned! With the IS list mentioned above, it is just not physically possible. Sometimes Vish comments that I am ‘leaning too heavily’ on her (ofcourse not physically, in which case she wold have got crushed long back!), but promptly I get irritated & snap back, if he is willing to sweep & swab. Next moment, he leaves the room.
    Mine is more a functional home & not as decorative as you have mentioned yours to be. But still, I do need her very much. Now I think, I will get ‘liberation’ the minute I come out of my dependence on her!
    Jay, why do you keep going back to the ‘fig leaf’ reference and remind me of our exchange of ideas?? You are too naughty!
    Knowing the sensitive nature of this topic, I am sure, the usual men who reply you will keep away this time!!
    Love,
    Chithra.



     
  5. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear jay

    Another :thumbsup post as usual…reading about the Neanderthal woman and u opting to grow a fig tree had me in splits.:rotfl:rotfl

    But seriously it is not as bad as it looks. We all came from India quite spoilt (now that’s what I tell my Indian friends when they crib about their full time maids) and all it calls for is to be a little efficient, well organized and most importantly not expect perfection.

    And if at all your living room looks like the aftermaths of a tornado you can always come up with statements like" I like my place to be a home not like some house out of a glossy interior decorators magazine " So u see…no worries…:)

    My dear jay you are getting better and better with each snippet. And we cant have enough of u, so keep it up.
     
  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Jaya,

    Hilarious is the word.super Duper, and if the nominations have started i am nominating this one, the first for December.

    i like yr ideas, fig leaves, but first the fig tree, leaving things in the toiltet bowl, alka salzer tablets eh ! HAHA

    My uncle from germany is an addict to AS and swears by it, i have never tried it, but he swears by it.

    And now even i wonder how many eyars i have wasted wearing clothes.HAHA

    Superb.

    Harsha has been lucky so have i, i have always had two full time maid servants, they cook, use washing machine, sweep, etc.i have an office boy who is a washerman by birth, he presses our clothes, so our home works like a clockwork, and when we have guests we dont have to do much.Thank god for small mercies.

    Regards

    kamal
     
  7. Sheebavinod

    Sheebavinod Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Jaya,

    What an amazing post and the way you have portrayed the entire post is astoundind dear. IWhile I was reading ,could picturise the entire scenario , comparison to Hiroshima ,Nagasaki, Flusing through the Ubend, just one word SUPERB:thumbsup
     
  8. Lalitha Shivaguru

    Lalitha Shivaguru Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Jaya,

    Once again you did it.....poor fig tree leave it alone yaar.... andha marame mottai aiydum.. namma sizekku leavesa pichakka...ha ha ha

    Good title Jaya...maid servant has become quite indispensable though I have a part time maid who sweeps, mops & cleans the vessels..if she goes missing one day all hell breaks loose at home. As you said the house will look like a Hiroshima & Nagasaki..

    A good read Jaya...your posts are really a mood lifter...
     
  9. radhavenkatesh

    radhavenkatesh Silver IL'ite

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    hi jaya
    You were honestly to your basics :)) if one day we dont get maid or cook at home and we got to do the same chores we try to simplify everything which otherwise isnt acceptable when they are around .. if we could only simplify every day we dont need them also how i wish i could simplify life like eating raw carrots like hares fruits and ofcourse fig leaves are perfectly okies with me as i am very lazy even for a change wish we had synthetic ones so that we can just change once or twice a year
    master piece
    radha
     
  10. Jpatma

    Jpatma Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Viji,
    Thanks for the fb, iam a crazy person with crazy thoughts. Since you like the idea of fig leaves, must seriously go into fig business.
    If i made you smile by my post iam happy that is what i want.
    Jaya

     

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