Is Marriage a Contract!!!

Is Marriage a Contract!!!



Today I was stunned to read the following news in DNA dtd. 4th Nov 09

Here is the scan, which I produce for the benefit of you all.



This is bad news for the Indian ladies as it gives them ideas to blackmail their own husbands. To have a baby, ask for money, to have the second one, ask for an increase. To follow the husband’s religion, you want a separate allowance. In my case , I don’t follow any religion, Harsha follows her own, so she must pay me, if she wants me to follow suit but for that I have to leave eating non-veg. and drinks, so I think I will let it pass.

I know pre-nuptial agreements are there and that is for a lifetime, but a short term contract which expires midway in marriage, is the first time I am hearing. When Tom Cruise came on Winfrey Oprah’s show, before he married Katie, he jumped on the sofa, and acted like a small excited schoolboy who has just got his toy after much cajoling.

Now I know the price he has paid to get hold of his toy, which is Katie. She puts her demands in writing, even for clothes, having babies, and things like that. And he gave her a bonus of 3 million Dollars, that is 15 Crores when she has a baby, over and above 5.5 Million ( 25 Crores) already promised.


If I were in her place, I would agree to get pregnant once again.what is a duty to most, is highly remurative for Katie, she earns first and enjoys too at the same time.



Reminds me the first time I heard of the pre-nuptials, was when Michel Douglas married Zeta Zones. I think it was in 2000. Their contract was carried in the papers and it had around 40 clauses, most of which I don’t remember now and I don’t have the clippings. Some of the ones that I do remember are:


1) For every year they stay married, she gets 2 million Dollars ( 10 Crores)

2) For every infidelity he commits (if caught), he has to pay her 5 million Dollars ( 25 Crores). No divorce, just the penalty. Nice woman ! She knows for certain that sometime her man will get bored with the same dish every night, and may want to try another woman, sorry, another recipe , so I think this is a brilliant clause to be included.


3) If they stay married for 10 years, she gets X million bonus (just remembered that the 10 years contract is getting over pretty soon).






Male is promiscuous by nature and is never satisfied even with the prettiest woman as his bride and by his side. Most men will still be on the lookout for an opportunity, to have a change, so to pay so much to own a woman-yes the right word is OWN, because he has made a contract with her. And like the Ambani contract which is top secret, some clauses in the contract are how much sex is allowed to Michel, has not been made public, but I would love to get my hands on it.


And would they have a register, where Michel has to sign, every time he gets into bed with her, to keep the number of the times they had err….., in bed !


And I read Michel’s dad Kirk Douglas did not attend the wedding, for he said, he wanted to marry his Bahu-to-be. Things can’t get stranger than this, dear friends.


Now assume this situation happening in India The contracts are made, and if the permissions for the husband is over, but he needs more what the wife would demand in return? A document readied, with the injunction “please sign this my dear Patidev”, pay me X amount and I shall allow Y times?


Well the day is not far off, when our Indian wives will also get smart and these contracts will become common.Right now everrything is oral, and u both say u will remain faithful to each other, but just the pandit is the witness, and nothing in writing at all.So ladies pin down yr hsubands literally,,and make him sign the deed, and u will live comfortably.


I think this is a good business to be in and maybe I should specialize in these contracts, make my money as a maternity lawyer and get to meet the pretty ladies in private, in the bedrooms to discuss these contracts!!!


Indian men beware, the time for free fun in the bedroom is over. Here comes kamalji with contracts from your better halves, so either send me a guru dakshina, to stay away from your homes or suffer the consequences!!!


KAMAL MAHTANI

thanks for the information

KM ji,
You are right, let me too join you as the lawyer. We must be the first one to do it in India. May a joint venture India and malaysia, we will work out various types of contract : a) rich and famous b) Upper middle class who are trying to become rich c) Middle class d) Poor

1) Hollywood style contract for the rich 2) similar contract only the quantum reduced 3) here we will include photo MIL clause , who will cook and the number of time, who will feed -something normal day to day chores and its 4) Poor - i suppose they will do what they want

Meanwhile we laugh our way to the bank.
Jaya

It is very entertaining to read about the life of celebrities.
Many ardent fans look up to them as their role model sometimes
and what do we get to learn from them ?? What a joke isn't it?

haha kamalji,that was a good read of the life of the rich and the famous..yes they are practical to the core so treat marriage as a contract..

i feel it should be the other way around..the poor housemaids in India who rush into marriage and end up with useless drunkards should have such contracts drawn up....nothing great on the list ,even not hitting her up and treating her with respect would do ...now isnt that the height of wistful thinking?