The Trouble With Trousseaus

Someone said that marriage is a three ring circus---engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering. While the bride and groom may not enter the third ring of the circus, they could cause suffering to the most unexpected of people

Take this relative of mine. The lady is a spinster and has not had much to do with weddings. She is notorious for abstaining even from the weddings of her siblings. She is at the receiving end of sufferings from many people's weddings, though from their viewpoint she would look like a recipient of their acts of generosity.

You see, she runs an NGO that works with the rural poor. One fine morning, when the stars were definitely not in her favour, she decided to collect discarded clothes tor the poor. And she was drowned in a tsunami of generosity. And that exactly is the crux of her problem.

Almost all the clothes she received turned out to be wedding trousseaus, that too brand new designer achkans, lehenga-cholis and ghagras worth a fortune! Many of them were studded with semi-precious stones including crystals of various kind. The people must have spent a pretty pocket in getting their wedding attire designed. After the jamboree, they find that the dresses are such that they can't be worn after the D-day. They can't be worn even to other people's weddings without making a spectacle of oneself.


Bertrand Russel a great champion of the institution of marriage (he tied the knot more than once) described marriage as an "extra-rational" act.. In that case the trousseau must be the most irrational part of it. Granted marriage is a once in a lifetime affair (unless one is a committed polygamist). But that doesn't mean you should have a trousseau at five or six figure prices that you can wear after you have tied the knot only at the risk of looking thoroughly silly.

So what do you do. Show your generosity and dump your trousseaus (trousseaux?) on hapless spinsters running NGOs to clothe the rural poor. Now the lady is in a fix. How can she distribute all that designer wear to the poor. What use would it be to them? Imagine a poor farm worker dressed in designer sherwani ploughing the field. Or a beggar woman seeking alms in a ghagra-choli ensemble with intricate zari work and studded with semi-precious stones! The poor beggar will suffer from a serious image and financial crisis if she looks like one of those rich walking sari shops from TV soaps. .

So this NGO relative of mine rang me up when she extricated herself from her designer wear mound and sought help. "What do I do with all that stuff?" she wanted to know . I suggested that she rent them out for marriages of families belonging to economically weaker sections.

"Not possible", she said. "Nobody will hire them. Poor or rich everyone wants to buy expensive stuff even at the risk of getting buried neck-deep in debts. You know some theatre guys dont you?May be they can make use of this stuff in their plays.Let them take the stuff and give me whatever money they can. I'll distribute it among the poor".

I pointed out that theatrepersons do not always look like they are straight out of Ekta Kapoor's soaps. "You contacted the wrong Balaji. May be you should call Balaji Telefilms' costume department".

But that conversation gave me an idea. May be the government of India should take over all that trousseaus. With Commonwealth Games due next year, the clothes can be used to build a good image of India.

Dress all the beggars in that wedding finery. All those foreign sportspersons and tourists would be truly impressed and will be brainwashed into believing that the great liberalisation has really paid off for India. Beggars too are well -off even though they still beg would be the impression.

The designer wear can also be used to camoflauge rural poverty. Distribute the designer stuff among farmers and farm workers and make it their compulsory attair. That should shut the mouths of all those shedding copious tears over farmers' suicides.
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And in the meantime will someone knock a bit of sense into the heads of those buying their wedding dresses? Why the hell can't they buy something functional, that can be used even later?

And until wisdom dawns on that front, let farmers burdened by debt can hang themselves or swallow pesticides swathed in finery glimmering with Swarovski crystals.

 

Beeamma, saris can always be put to use sometime or other but not the heavily zaried and crystalled choli ghagra and lehenga ensembles. The bride can wear them after marriage only at the risk of looking ridiculous. In the US your saris may be of little use but at social fuctions in India, they may come handy.

 

Usha, the movie star idea is great provided it does not find a mention in the media. Then some stary may deny it! It would be better to get a movie star or even a TV soap star to auction it.

 

haha kamalji, you want to make me swami balananda eh? Only guys with names like that go on channels like sanskar, aastha etc. On a second thought that is not a bad idea. Look at the kind of moolah your fellow sindhi asaram rakes in (i refuse to call him asaramji bapu. He does not deserve respect).