punished

Hi all,


I come from a strict family background, I
believe I would be able to contribute some real-life experiences of
being punished. For now, I'll share an experience which I'd just
posted on another website, Netfundu.

I'm 24 this year and work as an accountant. My family maintained
strict traditional discipline throughout all these years and thus
being the younger of two girls, my parents and my sis (who's 15 yrs
older than me) would not hesitate to punish me when the need arises.

Just 2 months ago, I spent a night at my friend's house because I had
gone to the pub and got drunk. When I reached home the next day, my
sis demanded an explanation as to why I didn't return home the
previous night. Though I had a valid explanation, she said I should
have called home because my mum was very worried.

She proceeded to make me do uthak baithak (standing and squatting
while holding my ears) 50 times. Then, she told me to stay in murga
position (bending over and putting arms under the legs while holding
ears). I refused and told her that I was too old for that. She then
gave me a few quick smacks on my thigh. I immediately cried out in
pain. I then quickly bend over in murga position to avoid aggravating
her.

To my horror she pulled down my pants & started smacking my bottom
with her bare hand, saying that I should never disobey her. I cried
aloud but stayed in position. After that, she made me stand & face
the wall while holding my ears, with my pants still around my ankles.
When my mum returned home hours later, she allowed me to go back to
my room but not before giving me a sound scolding.

I know my sis did it with love and for my own good. I've since learnt
to be a more responsible person.

One would find it hard to believe that I'm still being punished in
such ways at this age, but people from my state can verify that
punishments as such are common in many households.

If I do recall more of such experiences in the past, I'll write in
again. Till then, take care.

Megha,
I am so disturbed to see the method of punishment.However, you shd have informed your mom abt not coming back home.

Kindly start looking at the love they have for you, it is only they assume it is the way to correct you.

Try your best to live upto their expectation. Once you are married life will be different
Take care
Jaya

Dear Megha

Feel sorry for the punishment your sister gave. You should have informed your mother and gone , they must be worried na.

love
viji

First things first...

After we see and hear so many horrible stories of how insecure it is togo out in the night, you had gone out to pub...

second ...you got drunk so much...where you dont have guts to go back home in that state...


third...you know how strict and orthodox and traditional your family is....inspite of that you making such choices is like welcoming their punishment.....

think of the above 3.....


and coming to your sisters treatment towards you, i would have given such treatment to my kid till they are 10 or 12 yrs old...but not once they cross 14....that too beating by pulling the pants down
I think you should have called your mom / sis told them atleast some good reason of staying late...

anyways one good thing you could do is make your sis and mom sit. tell them you are ready totake the punishments but not in this physically abusive form..they can ground you...give you some additional chores / responsibility, take off your mobile orstop you from going out for few days or a week..but no physical punishment ..just make them sit and have a chat...

Ladies,

This girl has been physically abused. Just because the abuse is done by the sister doesn't make it "ok"! Please stop trying to justify the sister's actions because there's simply no excuse for it!

I'd also like to point out that this girl is 24 years old. Hello, she is an adult! She should be free to make her own decisions without having her sister pull down her pants and spank her! If you ask me, this sister sounds like nothing but a big bully. All of you ladies who agreed with the punishment must have your heads up your butts to think this is normal stuff.

Whether a person is 2 years old, 20, or 200, they should not be touched in a violent manner! It isn't the way. Anyone who rationalizes abuse as "for their own good" is setting themselves up to take abuse from anyone who comes along later in life... husband, inlaws, anyone!

Meghaa, you didn't deserve what happened. But also, you shouldn't have LET it happen. She smacks you, give her one tight slap back and tell her to keep her hands to herself. Don't listen to these other women, they are absolutely ridiculous. LOVE does not manifest itself as abuse. Love is tolerance, concern, but NEVER NEVER violent. Today you accept your sister's abuse, what next, your future husband's too? Meghaa, have some self respect and never allow another human to degrade you like that again.

Just because your state is operating under jungle law does not mean you should accept it. Let everyone else tolerate this type of punishment, you be the one to stand up and say "no." Definitely in the future you should inform your family if you will not be returning home in the night, but your actions were hardly worthy of the punishment you described.

Please think about what I have said. I'm not the only one who feels this way either. Another lady on this site actually pm'd me the link to your thread, and that is how I came to see it. She also is completely horrified by the other ladies responses, and also by your acceptance of the whole ordeal. Please do not buy into the idea that abuse can be justified.

Take care.

I suspect that if Meghaa87 has posted something similar to this that everyone would have been all over it for domestic violence:
I am a wife of 2 years working in a good position as an accountant. The other day I went to an office party and it ended up lasting longer than expected. I was with my female coworkers and we had too much to drink and so I stayed at a friends house for the night. When I got home and tried to explain to my husband he started forcing me to assume punishment positions many times. When that did not quench his anger, he stripped off my pants and started to beat me. He made me stand half naked for hours until my MIL came home and joined him in abusing me verbally. Finally I was allowed to go to my room.

So why is it ok for women to abuse women? On this site there are many accounts wondering why women take the abuse of their husbands. Well, they have been trained!! and often at the hands of their abusive mothers. Lets not blame every bash and thrash on the men! Furthermore, I know of several divorces (Indian) here in USA and the men left (partly or fully) due to the physical abuse of their wives!! I know another where the guy has been physically abused because he comes from a battering family and it seems familiar (though not liked) by him.

My point is if you want better treatment for women, then you need to train your daughters to expect and know proper treatment and they must experience it at home from early age. If you don't know how to do that, then get a book, a counselor, a mentor.

I have to wonder why the sister is still at home at age 39. A spinster? If so, perhaps her angry and abusive nature was recognised already by outsiders.

tashidelek2002
You are talking about all of these things, but what did you do when you were abused? You took it like you were expected to. Why are books, counselors, etc.. not helping your situation. That is sad and no one should go through something like this. I hope things change for you and good luck.

Realdeal:
You don't know what you are talking about...you are trying to paint a picture about me that doesn't fit. In my family the women were trained NOT to take abuse and I have a very hard time reading accounts like meghaa's. My parents were very peaeful people who I can never remember physically hurting me and whom I can never remember ever even raising their voices. I presently live alone with my cat and have for years. Save your pity for someone else.

Dear Meghaa,

It's really sad hearing your punishment. Your sister is about a sameager of me. It's really painful getting punished physically at 24. Hope you will come up with your sorrows.

Love

Rita

hmmm
another version of rita's story
well i too faced all this
even much cruel expereince than this
and yeah even i am facing them still in this age
it may sound weird and like wonder for many but common for me

so what are doing now?
and dont you want to come out of this?
if you want to learn responsibility then love and affection can teach it too in a better way
need not be so cruel

cheers dear
please take care
and please dont enjoy that punishment and feel contented about it
it is bad and say worst

bye