No waranty or return policy!!

[JUSTIFY]I have never worked in my life and I envy people with a career.
And many a times I've come across wealthy families with more than one member of the family being the bread earner. And I always thought...What do they do with all that money? And are they really happy with it??

I understand parents always want the best for their kids. And if an extra income in the family can go far enough to achieve that, they don't mind working their life off!! And once you get used to it, you can't live without it...turns into a want from a need. There are people who know where to stop and they are the smart ones in my opinion.
My own mom has been working for the past 19 years. But she started only when I was almost 10 and my brother was 6. But when I was finishing my studies, I wondered if I'd ever follow that line, be a working woman. Does it really make a difference..having a couple of extra thousands when you already have enough!!

My parents have always given us every luxury possible. And by luxury I mean everything - time, emotional support and material luxury. It never went over board, also there was no shortfall.

Though a working woman, my mother had never left anything unattended. And my father, a perfectionist, always made sure we knew what "best behavior" was.
In spite of being working parents, they always made sure we spent enough time together. We always had breakfast and dinner together at the table in the kitchen. We went out on weekends, we had minimum 2 holidays in a year apart from the exam leave my mom took to stay home and take care of us while we got all tensed, we'd celebrate birthdays and anniversaries together and if there was nothing else, a family night with a movie was always there. And also, book time!! My mom would sit down with a Tamil magazine, pick out some nice articles and read it out to us and discuss with us what every little thing can do to make our life better.
We still do all this in what ever time we get to spend together.
And one rule in the house was - never talk back to elders and even if there was a squabble, it never had anything to do with us. My brother and I would and should go on as if it never happened. That was the one thing my father never tolerated if broken!! Simply because family is more important than anything in this world!!

Having working parents had its downs. The thing I missed so bad was, when I came back home from school or college, I was alone. I'd have to let myself in with my own key, eat the evening snack left on the kitchen table (must say, it was always there) and wait for my naughty younger brother to show up in one piece.
If not everyday, every now and then I'd think, I'd probably give up a new dress or give up a new doll so that mom can stay home with me. But again, I was too young to really follow that with determination. But over time, we got so used to the lifestyle simply because I think we were guided well by our parents.

We were the Super-family in the neighborhood. Smart, independent and bold was what we were always called.
Fortunately we had parents who did not ignore us in anyway, unlike what I see in many houses.

I have wondered if there were kids who felt the same as I did when I was young and when I found out, I really felt I was in a far better place.

We once saw this program on TV, a debate between working parents and their children. And believe me, it was exactly what I used to think. The loneliness and the same or at times forced independence. But there were many cases where their life had taken a very different track and the kids had started seeing their parents as enemies.

And its not just the TV program. We've seen it happening around us..
Kids yearn for attention. And if they ever found they were not getting it, they'd start demanding for it, then blackmail and created havoc just so that the parents would spend some time with them at least to scold them. The crave for attention can prove disastrous at times!! And again, I've seen this happen in my own family.
These parents always had the thought that providing material luxury is all that a child needs to grow up happily. But that really does not justify the fact that the child should be deprived of the emotional support from the people they care for the most!!

In my opinion, in this day and age, I'd rather have people around me if not money and luxury. And that is what I'd like to give and teach my kids.
When I got married I made it very clear to my parents and my to-be family that I'd never work. If its a necessity, yes, there will be no more discussions. I'd do anything to keep things good. But when there is enough monitory support..and by enough I mean just the amount that can help us sustain life happily or peacefully, that would be it. I was mocked at and asked not to get such ideas into my head. But over time people understood what was the need of the hour!!

Family ties are the most important things in this world. Especially with the nuclear family system that has caught up so fast and fewer siblings cos of all the "planning", its more important to stick close and look out for each other instead of disowning people cos they did not satisfy you enough!!

I am not blaming parents or children for such behavior. Its a responsibility both of us should be willing to take, to keep the family in one piece.
We hear about parents not keeping in touch with a child cos he did not take the line of studies they wanted him/her to, or marrying against their will or refusing to acknowledge that they are the only people who can guide them properly in this dangerous world. Or children leaving the family cos of similar reasons or cos they think the family did not RESPECT them enough or just got tired taking care of ailing parents just sounds so absurd!!

Its not like you can get your family exchanged if you are not happy with them...they don't come with a warranty or a return policy. Its a one time contract that you don't get to break.

I really wish we did not have day care centers or old age homes anymore...it sometimes sounds like what you do to the kids in the past repeats itself in the future!! They have their own advantages but call me paranoid, as long as I'm alive, that is not an option I'd ever consider.

But again, this is just my opinion and what I'd like to follow. Not preach.
I wrote this cos I recently saw so much happening in my own family and how the fundamental meaning of the word and relationship is abused!! Its just so disheartening. [/JUSTIFY]

 

Thanks for your lovely feedback Jaya-san.

And ya, it becomes a necessity for some households at times for both parents to work and I too meant the same..if there is a necessity I would also never mind.

Sandy

 

Thanks for the response Mimur9.
I was quite pleasantly surprised to see this post surface after so long.
And I agree with what you said. The average housewife does NEED someone to spend quality time with.
I guess I'll have to worry about that too (hopefully) soon.

In these almost 3 years, many things have happened in my family. I could say tables have turned.
Dad has retired and now he is finding it hard to live the life by himself so runs away from is retirement by finding part time projects to keep busy. My mother is still working cos I am married and away in a different country for almost all of the year and my brother has grown up (I still can't see him as an adult though) and moved on with his life in another country. He will soon have his immediate new family to take care too. She does not want to leave the job now cos she says exactly what you say. What will she do at home? Who is there around her to spend time with?

I sometimes feel guilty about having to live so far from them..and realise how much she would have felt if she'd known how much I missed her and wished she has stayed home. And in some ways I think she knew but again she always hoped for the best for us.

These things can't be generalised and either way I do applaud all the working women who manage to balance their life amazingly..especially my mom .

 

Very true. And yeah, luck favoured me in so many ways. I am really grateful for it.
At the same time I'd say its up to an individual to decide what is enough money for them.
When it is a necessity, yes, they are left with no other choice. They are to be appreciated for not sitting around cribbing about the lack of it and instead they are willing to contribute to the well being of the family in some way or the other. That is a selfless sacrifice in many ways.

And thank you for your response Arunac

 

That is something you had the choice to pick and you did for the good of your family. That is very sweet.
When you can, might as well choose time over the money.

I don't regret having all those years when I had to come back to an empty home on my own. It wasn't really empty too. And of not for that, I would not be the person I am today. I know sometimes life can feel empty and lonely. But I also know someone will come home soon and will be willing to spend some quality time with me .

Thank you for your response mansimahi