Make amends before its too late .

Devika Menon · Mar 11, 2009

I met a friend today. I have been good friends with her and her sister since a long time. We all had good fun as a group And so I was really aghast to know that they had a fall and she no longer had any contact with her sister. I find it really strange that there are so many people who sever ties with their friends and relatives over inconsequential matters. I tried to talk to my friend and as I did I remembered this incident.

This incident ……………

They were one of the most beautiful people I had seen. The mother and daughter absolutely enjoyed the company of each other, till the daughter got married and settled in US. Shortly after the mother and daughter had an argument on a trivial matter. Things just got out of control with them severing ties for 11 years.

Finally one day they decided to patch up, as her brothers played the mediator. The daughter was happy and ecstatic . All the eleven years no one saw how desperately she wanted to be with her parents but the little evil ‘Ego’ prevented her from making the first move. The mother's eyes kept hoping that there would be some letter , something to show that the daughter cared. She never wrote to her though as I guess ego prevented a reconcilitation.

And now finally the daughter decided to come. The whole area was informed about the arrival The celebrations planned were nothing short of marriage. From morning the mother kept looking at the sky looking at every plane that passed through the sky, thinking about how just in a few hours , her daughter would come in one. The scene of their meeting, their running towards each others arms, through blurred visions played umpteen times in her mind. She reached the airport much earlier than was necessary. Just couldn’t sit at home. She was bubbling with excitement informing everyone sitting around about the daughter visiting. No on thought she was crazy. Infact everyone smiled, a knowing smile, enjoying her happiness. Finally the mother daughter duo would meet and make up for all the lost time. So much to catch up on, so much to talk. So much to relive.

But alas destiny played cruel and the news shattered her world, their world . Kanishka crashed. The lives of so many on board and so many off it crashed to. As the news spread people sat shell shocked.
The mother just lost her daughter she hadn’t met for 11 years.
She mourned the loss , not just the loss of her daughter but what destroyed her more was the loss of time that they had let go by as they stood as silent spectators each beautifying their evil ego. The thought tormented her, traumatized her and soon she became a ghost of her former self.

What a sad ending! The ‘Im sorry’ left unsaid and the fact that ego finally ruined the relations. So much was lost. Time , relationships………..Life....

When I see people fighting , quarrelling for the silliest of reasons and not wanting to bury unhealthy episodes and move on , this incident plays in my mind. I wish everyone would realize that the most unpredictable phenomenon in the world is life. Time to pick up and ,move on rather than to wait for some such crash in life that causes irreparable damage and a permanent loss. Let the pursuit not be for an empty triumph of ego but a triumph of love where no time is lost and amends made ,when it still can be. After all a victorious ego at the cost of losing precious relationships is tantamount to an inexplicable loss and a defeat in life which boomerangs onto your mind when it is just too late.

Remember many a times there is no second chance.

Is there someone there whom you would like to make amends and move on??Don’t waste any more time. Think about it. And act soon!!

Love,
Devika

Padmini · Mar 11, 2009

dear Devika,
a touching and thought provoking post. really i was in tears knowing the mother's feelings who did not have any touch with her for11yrs!!!!what a tragedy! it is true the "Ego" stood as a wall between them.It is a lesson for all to shed the ego and make amendments. we cannot forecast what will happen. so nice of you.
with love
pad.

dream.girl · Mar 11, 2009

Dear Devs,

That was really an eye opening thought..EGO..this can ruin a happy home in to minute pieces where you cannot even count the number of tears...

I had seen lot of my relatives where brother sister,brother brother, inlaws and parents oh!! I too had seen people not talking to each other for years and when they face eachother they hate seeing their faces..

Thanks and Hugs,
dg..

Jpatma · Mar 11, 2009

Dear Devi mol,
Yes ! truly said mole ! I always believe that we must be at least civil even though you may not like the person. Lots of close families are not on speaking terms due to some trivial matters, it gets snowballed over time,some times you can't even remember the reason. My belief is : even if the other person has harmed you deliberately a) forgive the person b) Keep a distance from the person c) when you see them be civil and say atleast: " Hi".
Even after this if the other party does not respond just leave them as it is without speaking ill .This clears our conscience that we have done our part.
I believe these unsolved issues in life is carried forward to nextbirth & these needs to be sorted out again. Clear your accounts in this birth itself.
Be nice to all, have a pleasant word to all and carry on your life the way you want it to be.
Lots & lots of blessing for my honey
Jaya

jaishree9 · Mar 11, 2009

Dear Debs
hi buddy such a thought provoking topic about the relationships. It is the Ego which always comes in between. So sorry to read about the fate of daughter in your incidence. Actually no body can tell what the next second would bring so grieving after & weeping is of no use once the curtains are pulled foreever.
many times it is the Son in law which prohibit wifes to visit her parents over trival matters ,many times wives keep husbands from having any relation with inlaws ,sisters & brothers fighting over property & all become even more enemy than others.
It is greed & ego which shuold come in between mataining suc relations.
Just this July a close family member of mine on inlaws side commited sucide after fighting with wife ,wife was preventing him from going to his mother's pllace & in heat of moment he swallow some poison & now both mother & wife are weeping ovr the spilled milk.Only if she had allowed him to go for some time ,Now she is faced with two kids on difficult journey.
Keep writing dear! such eye openers.

Mindian · Mar 11, 2009

dear devs,

a wonderful post..

we all know at least one or two such cases but can only pity them for their ego which prevents them from making amends before it is too late..

but like jaya has said why go to such extremes at all in in the first place..if u do not like somebody u can always stay away from them yet give a smile and hello when u meet them..this shouldnt be very difficult,no..

and in case of close relations like mother and child etc. one can always agree to disagree... certain relationships in life are beyond separation as they are too well cemented,i think..

anyway a great post for thought ..

love
Mindi

iyerviji · Mar 11, 2009

Dear Devika

Thought provoking post. As others have said it is the ego which causes these problems. In this kali yug we dont know what will happen the next minute so we should be good with everyone. Feel very sorry to here about the mother and daughter. There should not be any ego problem between a mother and a daughter.

As always a very good post

love
viji

Aabha · Mar 11, 2009

hi Dear Devika
really a nice provoking post....it reflects how precious relationship are ruined under the big bundle of EGO!!!

Malathijagan · Mar 11, 2009

Devika,
That was a beautiful post of yours!

Let the pursuit not be for an empty triumph of ego but a triumph of love where no time is lost and amends made ,when it still can be.After all a victorious ego at the cost of losing precious relationships is tantamount to an inexplicable loss and a defeat in life which boomerangs onto your mind when it is just too late.

Remember many a times there is no second chance.
Click to expand...

I simply loved these words of yours.
Love,
Malathi

Kamalji · Mar 11, 2009

Dear Devika,

What a sad story, a tear just escaped my eye.what u say is so true, ego bruns and crushes everything under its weight.

Do u know, i fell out with a very close male friend of mine, and for 10 years did not speak to each other.I did not invite him to my daughter's marrage too.

Two years back, a common friend oplayd the mediator, and called me, asking for reconsiliation, and i somehow had the sense to say yes, and then my friend came on the line, and now we are again the best of friends.

Glad my story did not have the tragic ending, that this mother and daughter had.

So many lessons to learn from what u say, u sure have mature thoughts in that young brain of yours.

Wonderful blog, and i predict this will have 2000 views and 250 comments.Fully deserves it.

Regards

kamal

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