Men, Women & Karma

Karma – what goes around comes around, men are cursed though, for them the saying should be all the good deeds you do will come back to bite you in the ass. Recently I was in trouble and so were two of my fellow men for strange reasons.

Case 1
We had gone to a friends house for dinner, they had ordered pizza and the four of us were sitting down talking and eating. Once we were done my friend R took upon himself to clean up, he wiped the counters, threw the trash away, kept the leftover pizza in a foil, while he kept doing this I could see the eyes of my other half widen as if to say ‘Learn something from him, your lazy ass does nothing like this when we have company’. Not to be outdone I got up and took the plates of the ladies and threw them in trash and asked them if they wanted a refill on their drinks. R’s wife appreciated that, at home I got an earful “Did you see him? He was doing all the work, you just helped in the end just for show didn’t you?”
I talked to R after a couple of days, I told him “Man all that work made me look bad”
He replied “That got me in trouble as well, she said you don’t help when we are alone so why this natak now? You want to make me look bad in front of others right?”

Moral of the story for men: Do nothing, you will get a scolding for not helping out but at least it will be true, what is the point of doing something and still getting in trouble.

Case 2
My cousin J had visited us a long time ago during his summer vacations, we were working and he just relaxed, one day he was bored or felt bad and cleaned the house and cooked for us while we were at work. I don’t remember the food but Kiran remembers it and claims it was one of the best meals she has ever had. J was single then, he is married now and we happened to meet after a long time, while talking about old times his cooking came up and Kiran went on and on about how sweet it was of him to cook and clean, it turned out he did the same for another cousin during that trip and his wife said the same things.
J felt like a hero and his basked and glowed in the glory, his glory was short lived though, his wife said “It is nice to know all these things about him, to me he has claimed from day one that he does not know how to cook” she looked at the two ladies and continued “He has done more for you two than he has for me in the last six years of our marriage”, she gave him the look and took their daughter to another room and did not come out for the remainder of the evening. I am sure he got more of an earful later on.

Moral of the story: If you feel like doing anything nice do it for your girlfriend, don’t be nice to your cousin, bhabhi or any other female members of the family. Your Gf will badmouth you but your family will remember the nice things at the wrong time.

Avoid Trap Questions altogether, fake chest pains if you have to but don’t get sucked in these questions
‘Do I look fat?’ Think ‘Go on the scale and decide for yourself’ but say ‘You look as beautiful and as slim as the day I met you’

‘If we had not got married who would you have married’ Think ‘At this point just about anyone sounds better than you’ but say ‘I would have stayed a bachelor’

‘If you could do things over what would you change about us?’ Think ‘I would add the clause that stipulates that you will not ask me these silly questions’ but say ‘Nothing about you, I just wish I could be more responsive to your needs’


There are some boneheaded moves that he makes that lands him in deep water

- Praising another woman’s cooking more than his significant other
- Complimenting another woman on her sense of style and fashion
- Telling another woman ‘You look great, you have lost a lot of weight, you look so slim”
- I am not this stupid but I know one guy who did this, he asked his wife if he could keep a certain name for their daughter, the name was good and she agreed. Two years down the road she found out that he liked that name because it was his ex-girlfriend’s name.

So Ladies as you can see it is not easy being a man – we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t, the next time your other half does not respond to your needs or does not help you – don’t blame him – blame another woman because she probably made him this way.

Note : If I am still welcome on IL after this post I would consider all of you great sports and myself extremely lucky.

 

Ushaji : I am glad, thankful and relieved after reading your comment

You made a great observation - I did not see it but most problem arises from comparison.

You have said that I am welcome and that is good enough for me

 

Hi Mindi : Thanks for the input and I am glad you liked this and more importantly did not find this offensive.

Your husband would actually say that?? Actually I would too but only to very close friend, this couple we are not that close so felt a bit awkward saying that in front o fothers.

 

Hey Jaijui : I want to be a woman in my next life, maybe I will torment you emotionally then

We just grumble but take the verbal punishment with a smile