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Mommies and Daddies please protect !!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Devika Menon, Feb 4, 2009.

  1. Devika Menon

    Devika Menon Gold IL'ite

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    Mommies and Daddies please protect!!

    She sat with me in the library. Had asked me for a few private moments. As I sat with her, I softly nudged her to speak up. I said , “I promise to help”. She looked at me. I could see the tear waiting to fall. And how hard she tried to prevent it!. But it betrayed her and fell down her cheek. I saw the pain. Felt it. It pierced me. A sweet 12 year old with so much pain. Dear God, this wasn’t fair!!

    After a while and after listening to her, I asked her, “So your father is responsible for this”.
    With quivering lips she said , “ Yes, its Daddy”. I wasn’t shocked or surprised . Reason?? This wasn’t the first such case. Brothers, Uncles, cousins, teachers………………….

    Do you know dear friends, this is what most little girls go through. They face sexual molestation in their homes and surrounding.
    Not just girls , young boys as well. These kids don’t know the meaning of rape, sodomy. But they have experienced it. They don’t know what its called, but it has shattered them ,devastated them. How can they ever trust anyone?

    Well coming back to my case, friends very often I have seen mothers trying to stifle these accusations that flow out of the daughters mouth with,” Don’t breathe a word of this to anyone”. Or “ I don’t believe you’. Like this little doll said, “ Ma’am , Mom wont believe me. And Dad continues.. What do I do?" How do I tell her, “Your mom believes you sweetie, but she is helpless". The very statement is loathsome.

    What is the world coming to ? The morning papers said A two and a half year old was raped and thrown in the gutter. Raped?? A two and a half. Well raping anyone is criminal, but an infant? What are these perverts up to? When a young lady gets raped we often hear people say, " She must’ve worn or done something to provoke it.” But tell me what provocative gesture can a two and a half year old do? Its ridiculous to pass such judgements about victims. What better punishment than castration to prevent such perverts from pursuing their attack.. Now this was a crime committed by some pervert stranger. But there may be danger lurking close to home.

    Well coming back to my case, friends very often I have seen mothers trying to stifle these accusations that flow out of the daughters mouth with,” Don’t breathe a word of this to anyone”. Or “I don’t believe you’. Like this little doll said, “ Ma’am , Mom wont believe me. And Dad continues…… What do I do”?? How do I tell her, “Your mom believes you sweetie, but she is helpless”. The very statement is atrocious

    Whom else would they trust. When I hear the parent saying, “ I am helpless, I am dependant on the person responsible for my daughter/son’s grief , so it is better to bury the matter”, it infuriated me to no end.
    Don’t be a hapless victim. There are rescue centres everywhere. Your integrity and respect for yourself and your kid is the biggest saviour. Prevent tomorrow from being an ugly day!!


    I had a friend as a kid, was repeatedly raped by the watchman. She kept telling her mom “Gurkha uncle takes me to the terrace every day. I don’t like him ” But the mom was very fond of Gurkha uncle cause according to her he loved her daughter as his own. She really didn’t bother to know what the child was talking about. He kept on till one day he was caught red handed by one of the residents. If only the mother had taken more notice to what the little child was trying to convey.

    Listen to your child, son/ daughter. There may be something more. Their innocent talks have their own way of indicating things. Trust them . Protect them. Even if they are accusing somebody close to you. Where else will these children go? Whom else would they trust. .

    When I see the tears, in the innocent eyes, where fear looms large , where they look so helpless,desperately seeking protection, it stabs me. Childhood a curse and growth too rapid

    I discussed this topic with my mother and to my shock she said that there were such cases even at her times ,that is approximately half a century ago. This was then a taboo topic and the victims were punished . Lets talk about it and punish the criminals.

    Such kids grow up with various personality problems. Low trust, low self esteem.
    And also bad marriages. Seek help from drugs. Some of them develop suicidal tendencies to overcome the flashes of abuse that keeps haunting them.
    With the foundation so bad the structure collapses very soon. And can seldom be resurrected.


    When you decided to have a child be sure you can nurture it , protect it, if you think you need to depend on someone else to protect a child, the you have absolutely no right to bring them to this world.
    If you have to make a choice between your child and another person, opt for your kid,
    Your child needs you. Your child cannot survive without you. But the others can and will.
    You are responsible for you child, and you have to take responsibility for it.

    Otherwise don’t light a lamp in your house, cause no light can take away the darkness that will envelop the child without your presence . And don’t expect God to ever bless you.

    The way you look up to God to maneuver you from problems , your child looks up to you to do the same.
    Do unto your child what you expect your God to do unto you!!

    Love,
    Devika
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2009
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  2. uncannybal

    uncannybal Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Devika

    Sometimes I feel there maybe a gene in some ppls body that makes them do these things. It is definitely not provocation of clothing that creates this madness since it happens to children also. Maybe if scientists can locate this gene and remove it from these deviants, we will all be safer.

    love
    Santosh
     
  3. Sabitha_K

    Sabitha_K Gold IL'ite

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    Devika ,

    Hats off to you for this pressing topic ! A lot of people shun to discuss or even acknowledge the fact that this scourge called 'molestation by family members' is prevalent in India.

    I read an article in Femina some time back stating the figures of atrocious acts in India which infact out number anywhere in the world.Just because we turn a blind eye and close our ears to these incidents does not make our children immune to the paedophiles.

    We always denounce the West for their overt sexual pervertness but what can we say about our own country where things are brushed under the carpet and we put a facade of complacency.

    A big thunderous applause to you for this post and thoughful message at the end.....These things are to be discussed in open and awareness needs to be generated in public.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2009
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Devika,

    What a sad incident, and what u say makes my blood boil.And u are faced with such people who come to u, i cannot imagine what must be going thru ur mind then, it must be very ery disturbing to u.

    The punishment that u suggest for the men is good, plus a jail sentence, and plus the guy to be showon TV so that it shames him, and deters others from trying the same things.

    thjese guys are perverts, worst than beasts , what can one call them.

    I skip over these articles when i come across them, but well u in yr profession are faced with them.

    Wish we could do something really for these unfortunate children.

    kamal
     
  5. jaishree9

    jaishree9 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Devika

    These are blood chilling incidneces,I too read about the two & half yr raped yesterday at ville parle slums. Actually about 60-70 % of child abuse ,molestation & rapes are committed by some one near & close including father.They try to cover up with so many disguises.
    Actually children are more at risk as they cant protest ,cant do any thing strongly & are dependent. so called uncles , faithful servents cousins all must be watched by mothers like hawks with young daughters as well as sons also.

    The child pornograpy is on all time high.
    Illegal child trefficking to othe countries for pornography & all perverted desires are alarmingly high. If any body look at the no. would be shocked.
    The society is as such seepy on these matters.

    The atttitude is if all are under cover means everythything is normal.
    With Sex linked fetocide in coming decade when the ggirl child ratio would be much much lower about 5-6 00/ 1000 the situation would be much much more worsed.
    I have witnessed a seven year old girl being raped by a 60 yrs old And his lawyer came to me with the story that father himself has injured the child's internal parts with his thumb to lay charges against the accused.In my carrier I have witnessed many cases of child rape And every time I have cried seeing the emotional psychological & physical trauma to the children .Healing is very difficult in such cases.
    You said very truely that the first duty of mother or parents shud be to nurture the child provide him/her a safe atmosphere otherwise shud not produce kids but is very difficult to explane to them.
     
  6. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    dear devika,

    a very sad case,what else can i say..it really disturbs me to even read it so i can imagine how upsetting it must be to talk to a child who is a victim...

    cant believe such parents exist...what could be more important than listening to their child....

    all parents MUST talk to their children on the difference between the right and perverted touch

    love
    Mindi
     
  7. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    My Dear Dadiamma
    Today 3 times hats off to you my dear.....
    It is so true these things happen around and the kids are not protected, just for the sake of they name will get spoiled and all sorts of stupid reasons...
    Your quote is so right as we seek God for protection the same way the kids seek for the parents protection.....
    Every parent should should give their ears to their kids, listen to them what they have to tell us. Sometimes if possible teach them what is right and wrong.

    This post is an eye opener for the parents who shut they mouth and encourage such act happening around, without fighting for the rights of the kids.
    Feel like shooting such parents...........
     
  8. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    DMbuddy,

    A sensitive issue, which has lot of trajectories to it.

    I don't close my ears/eyes or stop voicing out my objections when I see one.

    I don't remember the magazine where i read (last week), but this was a letter to the agony aunt's section,though not exact, the letter was from a teenager and it could be anybody in our own neighbourhood..

    Dear A,

    I have a problem at home. I cannot talk to anybody at school. My mom is sick. my dad asks me to behave with him. (you know what i mean by behave), he says otherwise he will not help in my mom's treatment and my mom knows it is happening but keeps quiet. I have two brothers, if my dad leaves us, we do not have anybody to help us. i don't know what should i do...

    The reply from the A was a just pacifying that talk to your school talk to .....

    There is so much happening around, that it scares me as a parent.

    I believe that we as a parent/elder, should be open to the kids when they approach us. sometimes, we tend to neglect to observe.

    Today child abuse, rapes of children happens at home most of the time, the criminals would be people we would be knowing and trusting.

    IT is better to talk to our child and be open, give them the confidence to take care of themselves, and also give them the trust that you are going to be there come what may.
    coming from a culture where parents are the first god, definitely need to protect.
     
  9. latamurali

    latamurali Gold IL'ite

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    Dermost Devika

    Very very sensitive and important topic of present world and if we read any magazine or newspaper or any article , we can read atleast 5 incidents similar to this

    You are absolutely right , parents has to listen to kids talk , we should not neglect them telling " ava edho olrara ( she is blabbering something) ./i have heard parents saying this way .....this mentality should be changed

    and, as you say, we shld take care of our kids like anything, and its our main responsibilty and that must be our first job, we should not give chance for those incidents to happen , if we are taking fcare directly, then how all these will happen, though i agree, it is not possible with everybody, in that case, they must arrange for some genuine people to take utmost care for kids

    Andddd, thse people have to puinished very very very brutally, yeah, i mean it, certain crimes have to be punished very very severely....

    DHANDANAIGAL KADUMAIANAL DHAN
    KUTRANGAL KURAIYUM

    Jail sentence or penalty or anything wont stop him from doing this brutal act ,those punishments are not enough , they need moreeeeeeee than that
     
  10. Devika Menon

    Devika Menon Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Santosh,

    Thanks for joining me here with the very first FB.:)

    You may be right , there may be some genetic issues, But then we must cannot let such freaks scot free. If this genetic combination is found then these species need to be marooned in some island with beasts.

    Yes though there have been speculations that the reasons for young ladies to be raped is their provocation, I'd like to ask those that make these atrocious assumptions, how can an infant of 6 months or 2 and a half year look provocative to anyone unless he is some sex starved pervert or a lunatic.

    Thanks once again Santosh.Good to read your points.

    Love,
    Devika
     

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