Hello! Moral Police?

You can't see them walking around in uniforms.They could even be your friendly neighbours. But once you commit any act which they deem to be against Indian culture, beware the most ordinary joe can morph into a moral policeman. Then you may feel them or rather, their blows.

Your offence can range from sitting quietly in a restaurant chatting with your girlfiriend to painting a picture they deem to be in bad taste or if you are a woman who dares to step into the forbidden confines of a pub..

Make sure you stay indoors on wrong days, say Valentine's Day, when they are around to catch you for "Immoral behaviour". Of course, they turn a blind eye on such behaviour on other days but on Valentine's Day it is definitely against Indian culture.

The members of the tribe include such worthies like small time politicians out to score brownie points and gain some publicity. Those belonging to this subspecies of moral cops are often accompanied by photographers and television cameramen who click away and shoot gleefully to get some interesting footage to boost their channel's sagging TRP ratings as the moral cops assault those who incurred their displeasure.

The Moral Cop Club also includes briefless lawyers who hope to gain some publicity and clientale by wasting valuable time of Indian courts already awash with cases by filing public interest litigations against "enemies of Indian culture". People craving for only publicity without bothering about any other gains occupy the lowest rungs of the hierarchy whilc mentally deficient ministers who ban TV channels for showing programmes that offend their taste are the icing on the moral police cake.

So why can''t we bring some order and organize all these loonies into one moral police force authorized to assault all and sundry and even ban TV channels? Here is a sample of how they will work.

Scene:A Moral Police Station .A guy rushes in and the sole cop quickly hides a film magazine in which he was ogling at a picture of an almost unclad starlet.

Cop(irritated at being disturbed).: Yess?
The guy:: I want to report an assault case. An artist friend of mine got beaten up black and blue.

Cop: What was the provocation?

The Complainnant::A group of goons thought a painting by him was in bad taste.

Cop: Thanks for coming. Where's your friend? It is high time he is locked up.

The Complainant:: But he is the injured party!

Cop: Are you sure? He injured the feelings of the attackers with his painting. So who is the injured party? Tell me where your friend is. Or Ill haul you up for abetting him!
.
The complainant runs out of the police station to save his skin as the cop goes back to ogling at the starlet. The phone rings.

The cop irritated at his blissful meditation being disturbed picks up the phone.

Caller:; Sir gazab ho gaya! A woman has been gangraped in .....(he names the locality)

Cop: What was the length of her skirt?

Caller: How do you know she was wearing a skirt?

Cop(Proud at having displayed his holmesian abilities): Elementary my dear chap. Only skirted women get raped. If they are modestly wrapped in a sari from top to toe this wouldn't happen. I will come there but be warned that If I found that the woman was not properly dressed I would lock her up for provoking the guys to assault her!

Puts down the phone when a man rushes in.looking angry and outraged.

Man: Sir, how can you allow that TV channel to operate?

Cop: Which channel?

Man (Naming the channel) It is outrageous sir!. Most of those appearing on this channel have no clothes on and the rest are just clad in shorts! Sometimes even sexual acts are shown on it!

Cop: That's the limit !!! I ' ll now move heaven and earth to ban........ ANIMAL PLANET!!!!!! .

 

Jaya that Malaysian law seems to be godsend for gold diggers. In India whole lot of movie stars and industrialists could be trapped this way. The law will help establish fortune hunting by roping in the right guy as an industry!

 

Mindi, sorry. My sympathies are fully with your husband. I too am a regular Animal Planet watcher. But in the atmosphere of madness the moral police creates, there is every chance of animal planet getting banned because it shows the animals without clothes.

 

Pavi, wearing helmets could actually be dangerous. If the helmet is of poor quality and breaks it can cause more damage to your head than travelling without a helmet. There is a horrible case in which the helmet got fused with the rider's head. By the time the doctors could extricate the head from it the poor chap was dead. But the moral police is not about corruption. It is about guys who try to score brownie points pretending to be crusaders against moral corruption.

 

Kamalji, that beautiful lady is not totally undressed. She does wear a coat when she goes for her morning walk. As for school she has not even been to an obedience school. She doesn't need that. But you still can't predict what the moral police will do!