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Conversations 2 - Why do some women put on so much weight after marriage?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by uncannybal, Jan 30, 2009.

  1. uncannybal

    uncannybal Senior IL'ite

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    Why do u think Indian women put on so much weight after marriage?
    Well i think it has to do with how one feels. When one feels good one tends to look after oneself

    So these women dont feel good, so they put on weight?
    Yeah. Before marriage they felt good. They were pretty and got so much attention. They enjoyed their life. Then they did what they were told would enhance their life forever and got married

    So marrriage was a dissappointment?
    Yeah. Suddenly they ran into being criticised and humiliated instead of being praised and celebrated and did not feel so good anymore. So they let themselves go and stopped looking after themselves

    Did they expect too much from marriage?
    Well many women are told that it is the ultimate goal of life. When they actually do it they find that the adulation they got before marriage has been replaced by an apathetic husband and a dominating mother in law. They feel 'I sacrificed everything I had for this?'

    What is the big deal? Why do they have to maintain their weight anyway?
    Well if you are within the prescribed weight for your weight and height then chances are that you will be healthier and so you will live longer for the sake of your husband and for your kids. Also your chances of having a good physical relationship with your spouse is better if you are healthier and have better stamina and well being. All this is also true for husbands who put on too much weight after marriage of course
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2009
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  2. Devika Menon

    Devika Menon Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Santosh,

    That is the most prepesterous theory I have ever read. Where did you draw this conclusion from?

    Anyway true women put on weight after marriage, but so do men. Infact we require a borewell machine to bore in that pot belly to reach the insides of a man post marriage.
    But since you have brought up this topic to be diffused, let me put in my reasonings.

    First of all post marriage, women have much more responsibilities than being glued to the mirror trying to beautify themselves . They need to prove their mettle in various other streams apart from looks. They need to show their skills in parenting , kitchen etc. etc. the list is endless.

    Secondly there is no such theory that if you have maintained yourself ,then you have a lot of chance that your respective spouse wouldnt go astray. Can you give a guarantee to this? Im sure you cant , cause no one can.

    Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. If a man / woman is fidile then they would find enough pleasure in their respective spouse and not look for pleasures outside. Its all about love and that goes beyond looks.

    Im a marriage counsellor Santosh and I have a lot of couples coming to me , women with perfect looks complaining about their husbands adulterous affair and ofcourse vice versa.

    This has a lot to do with genes. If you are genetically predisposed to be fidile you would be no matter what the circumstances.This has been proven through some serious research and are not merely blind statements like the one you have made. These people wouldnt be looking at everything as a catalyst for extramarital affair and justifying their action with some funny statements.

    If a woman has put on weight after marriage , it is because of the metabolic factor that slows down after a certain age. The function are slower. The find it dificult to knock off the excess. But there is always a lot of difference as each decade passes by. If the husband expects a wife to look exactly as she did during the wedding then he needs to see a shrink as soon as possible.

    If the wife married the husband due to his curly black hair that she found attractive before marriage , and he goes bald soon after, what does she do?? Dump him like a ton of hot bricks? No Santosh .It doesnt work that way.

    The success of a happy marriage has to go beyond looks and bed, it has to be someting about emotional fulfilment. The compatibility has to exceed the physical evaluation.

    Looking great to feel good and live healthy is a great theory , but looking good just to be an eye candy to your spouse to prevent them from faltering is complete and utter hogwash. People who think so need to seriously grow up.

    Well think about it!!

    Love,
    Devika
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2009
  3. uncannybal

    uncannybal Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Devika

    Agree totally that this applies to husbands as well ! As I have mentioned this applies to both husbands and wives

    Regarding maintaining themselves there is no excuse for women. Both men and women are busy after marriage and this is no excuse to let go. But this is more about keeping fit than about looks

    Regarding fidelity that is another matter and beyond the scope of this blog. I agree that someone with a basic predeliction for infidelity will be infidile regardless of his wife's appearance

    Beauty definitely lies in the eye of the beholder but healthy people live longer and one should strive to be healthy simply to live longer for his/her loved ones if not just for themselves

    Look at this study I found done by Duke University

    How Too Much Weight Hampers Sex Drive
    According to a recent study conducted by Binks and his colleagues at Duke, up to 30% of obese people seeking help controlling their weight indicate problems with sex drive, desire, performance, or all three. Often, the latest research shows, these problems can be traced to physical conditions that co-exist with obesity.

    Loved seeing your fiery response !

    Love
    Santosh

     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2009
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Santoshbhai,

    Good oneman, good one.

    Well if the ladies put on weight, it means they feel since i am not happy with hubby and MIL,so who bother to look good.

    By being fat, i will bring ridicule on both of them, and so what if i die early, it is better that way, so i will escape this hell !

    But in my case, Harsha is getting slimmer by the day, and i am getting, fatter, sorry healthier , means what, Santoshbhai ? HAHA

    Chew that one over.Regards

    kamal
     
  5. Devika Menon

    Devika Menon Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Santosh,

    I guess you didnt notice that I have written ,it is definitely good for ones own well being, but if you are coupling it with performance et al, I dont quite agree.

    I find it ridiculous to see the paradox. If a woman puts on weight around the tummy, shes fat and ugly. If a man puts on , hes rich. If a woman loses hair and you find one srand on the food, all hell breaks loose but a man with a receding hairline is money in the bank

    A man perenially demands his wife to gain and loose as per his desires , if she is too thin,put on if she is too fat go thin. And whats funny is in this expansion and contraction business the woman loses her elasticity. As it is the pregnancy does affect her body. There is a reason . But men why do they put on.They never even get pregnant. Why do they find it difficult to maintain.

    Yes exercise is important a regime that has to be a routine as regular as your every other everyday activity to ensure longevity and perfect health. But dont mix good physical health with physical desires. Both are completely different plateaus.

    Good you liked the fiery response.:)

    Love,
    Devika
     
  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Devika,

    Good one u gave Santosh .HAHA.I am seeing the durga Mata side to you, first time.HAHA

    I have better beware from now on, Counseller.HAHA

    Regards

    kamal
     
  7. uncannybal

    uncannybal Senior IL'ite

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    Kamalji

    The whole theory is that those who feel good treat themselves better and look after their health better than those who dont feel good about themselves

    So if u are gaining weight then you are not feeling so good and you should drink moreBig Laugh

    Kamalji you are not fat yaar. I can vouch for that having seen u. And it definitely means u are treating Harshaji so well that she is feeling very good about herself !

    Santosh

     
  8. uncannybal

    uncannybal Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Devika

    Hehee I fully agree that men should not be let off the hook ! It takes two hands to clap so both partners should look after themselves. But for their own sakes first and their partners sake next

    Health does affect physical desires as I have showed in the research report above

    love
    Santosh

     
  9. Devika Menon

    Devika Menon Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Santosh,

    Youre right!! Truce ! hehehehee!!

    Well I want to look good and feel good for myself. I mean my health is for me to take care of .My body is definitely my temple. If tomorrow Im not keeping good health then I know I would be a major liability for everyone concerned. Lets face the truth, no one wants to be dependant on another. Like my Mom always says," I pray that till I die i should never want anyones help and should be able to do my own things and that I always be fit." I can completely understand her. It is important for one to be fit ( fit doesnt mean fat or thin here) till one walks on this earth.

    Love,
    Santosh
     
  10. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Santosh
    As always reading your blogs are a pleasure. This one no exception. I admire your way of analysis and agree with you. I also feel the weight reflects the stress and difficulties that one goes through.

    It is more nice that youhave laced it with humor. Keep writing..:)
     

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