Of Mobiles and Men

Such a question should never cross the mind of a sane person.. But it did cross mine, thanks to Aamir Khan. The question is: What is the gender of a mobile phone?
Do you think I am crazy? You too will be if you watch TV ads like this. Aamir delivers the performance of his life in the TV ad for Samsung mobile. With a totally straight face he announces;: I am Samsung mobile!"
That must have been Aamir’s most challenging role ever. It takes a lot of tough time to convince people that you are a mobile phone. And he almost does. Aamir being a method actor must have first convinced himself that he was a mobile phone before he went about convincing others that he is one.
That is a real tough job.If you don’t believe me stand before a mirror and try to say with a straight face: " I am a mobile phone". I tried several times but failed. My wife rushed into my room and yelled while I was giving one of my repeat performances of me as a mobile phone and yelled" " What are you doing".
"Trying to convince myself that I am a mobile" I said. Wifey gave me look of pity combined with triumph. Pity because of she suspected that I was nuts and triumph,because she at last seemed to have clinching evidence that I was stark raving mad.
The ad was so effective that after watching it I was convinced that mobiles were male. But my certainty received a blow thanks to an ad for LG mobile. There a female model tries to convince you that she is LG mobile.
The lady dressed in black looked like one of the spooks in Ramsay Brothers horror movies who go around in a transparent dresses singing come hither songs. I have never forgiven Ramsays for switching on the fog machine before I could get the full benefit of the transparency. I was repeatedly denied my paisa vasool.
Forget those scream merchants, the LG ad convinced me that there is a gender divide among mobiles.. There are male and female mobiles, if I go by the two ads.
And for that performance Aamir deserved an Oscar for best actor. Too bad that ad spot performances are not nominated for Oscars.
The way out would be to make a full length film about mobile phones. May be one about a love story involving male and female mobiles? Aamir can play the male mobile and the spooky model, the female mobile. It will be about how the two mobiles initially at loggerheads because they are different brands ultimately overcome their dislike and join hands after smashing a whole lot of big, bad, villainous mobiles that act as stumbling blocks on the path of their true love. If it gets nominated for Oscars, I am sure Aamir will get the best actor award.
If there can be movies on mobiles why not TV shows? Ekta Kapoor can make a soap called Kyunki Mera Mobile Bhi Kabhi Bajtata".
Above all there could be reality shows involving male and female mobiles. It could be about whole lot of female mobiles trying to date a couple of male mobiles and bitching and backbiting each other in the process.
There is already such a show called Splitsvilla on MTV based on the lofty premise that 20 girls have nothing to do but salivate over two androgynous characters whom we accept as boys because the anchors tell us so.
The girls are so stressed and wild that they speak only the unspeakable .Result is all their lines are substituted by beeps. So why not replace them with mobiles which can beep more convincingly?
As for the show itself it has become such a crushing bore that it really needs a twist. I have written to MTV suggesting that none of the girls gets to date the boys. The boys should be made to date each other and the girls and viewers given a surprise that they are gay.

That was hilarious! I've been laughing reading about your performances to your reflection in the mirror. It never occured to me that Aamir was saying he was the mobile phone. I always understood that ad as if the Samsung mobile has the same charisma as Aamir. Now when I think of that ad in your dimension...OMG...its funny.

Regards,
Hema

hi balajee...

a very nice post...and now how are you?? ( i doubt still ur standing in front of a mirror and trying to say to urself that am a mobile...!!) just kidding..!!
Yeah probably by 2020 or 2050 we could expect the films and the serials based on this concept..!! would workout ..!! hehahaahhaaa ....
thanks for the funniest post...!!

Balaji
vow !! What a hilarious post.
Yes Amir can convince anybody that he is samsung mobile .He works hard for his ads really.
Reality shows having mobiles as contestants -What an imagination.

Dear Mr.Balajee,

HAHA.Good one.looks like u watch TV too much, u might lose whatever little hair that u still have up there.


REg mobiles, male or female is one thing, but where to keep it becomes a problem.

They say if u keep the mobile near your

1) Ear – Bad for the ears and the brain.
2) Pocket – u can get hear attacks.
3) Belt – u become impotent
4) This I will add – if I keep it at the backside, u think I will have loose motions ? In that case it can be recemonded for those who have constipation !

HAHA.Regards.kamal

kamalji, there is a google story about a woman who kept it in her backside because of the vibrations from the mobile gave her a lot of pleasure. They finally had to operate and take it out of her. The best thing is like me dont keep a mobile.

Further to my earlier message mobiles can be a means of population control. Evry male Indian must be gifted one at taxpayers' expense and it must be designed in such a way that it can be kept only in the belt. Family planning without pains!

Balajee,
Now only I understood that ad...thanks for making it clear...
Now a new war will be in the mobile-world...who is greater..me (the male mobile) or me (the female mobile)...which would be an everending debate just as in our own world..

sriniketan

Originally Posted by hemchi

That was hilarious! I've been laughing reading about your performances to your reflection in the mirror. It never occured to me that Aamir was saying he was the mobile phone. I always understood that ad as if the Samsung mobile has the same charisma as Aamir. Now when I think of that ad in your dimension...OMG...its funny.

Regards,
Hema

Hema, that ad is really funny. In that ad after mouthing the line about him being Samsung Mobile Amir takes a leap probably into water. Does that signify that if you have a Samsung mobile get rid of it by throwing it into a body of water?

Originally Posted by Balajee

Further to my earlier message mobiles can be a means of population control. Evry male Indian must be gifted one at taxpayers' expense and it must be designed in such a way that it can be kept only in the belt. Family planning without pains!

Dear Balajee,


HAHA.Family planning at it’s best eh ! Regards.kamal