Masala News-Sleepy Pilots,Rich Dog,Orbituaries

Masala News – Sleepy Pilots,rich Dog,Orbituaries.

Recent newspapers had an interesting topic.TOI on 26^th June, had a great first page Headline “ BOTH PILOTS GONE OFF TO SLEEP”


Look at the irony.15 days back an IA flight flew from Jaipur to Mumbai.In the Air, they were told to take a particular path for Mumbai, which the pilot did, and somehow both the pilots went off to sleep.the plane overflew Mumbai and was half way to Goa, when the ATC in Mumbai unable to contact the pilots, thinking the plane has been hijacked, pressed a buzzer used in emergencies, which opened the eyes of the pilots.


The flight was immediately turned around and brought back to Mumbai halfway from Goa.I told this to friend of mine in the park, and he said some relative of his is a pilot, drawing like 2.50 lakhs plus overtime.And these days they are overstressed due to shortage of pilots, they are made to fly more though they are well paid for it.


What he said was hilarious.Suppose the pilot’s duty ends at Mumbai, and the other pilot has not turned up.They tell him take the plane to the next stop, say Goa, and the Goa pilot we have told and he is reaching the Airport.At Goa, that pilot did not trun up as he was caught in the traffic.He is told Chennai is just one hour away man , u get relieved there, we have a stand in pilot inChennai.So this way the pilot is exhausted, and hence falls asleep, as it happened in this case.


Drunk Pilots – Well another rproblem is that these days they have caught a lot of pilots who report drunk at the Airports.They say that take off is not a problem, but landing can be.And with shortages of pilots, they let them off with a warning unofficially.Good to know that Kamalji is not a pilot .But if he was, he would straighaway take u to Heaven, as he can talk his way thru any situation !





Dressed to Dupe 5 Star Hotel’s Staff – TOI – 27/6/08

For 25 years Vishwanathan has made it a habit to shuttle between the best addresses in Star Hotels and central prisons.And at both those places he dosnt cough up a penny for the facilities.


He has stayed in every luxury hotel in the South and duped them all.He Is used to the employees fussing over him.And he stays for over 3 weeks in the best suites, the most expensive, has a imported Chauffer Car, and drinks the best of the whiskey’s and the wines.


My Comments – This guy is better than me.At least when he is called upstairs, he can tell the lord of all the best places he has stayed in, the best wines that he has had down his throat, and what will I tell the lord ?A few cane whacks for this luxury is worth it really, sometimes I feel.Well Well.


Americans Cut Down Costs by Cutting down on Vices – TOI – 25^th June 08


New York – The “latte” effect of the go go years had Americans spending $ 4 a day on coffee.Now the downturn is forcing them to rethink the wisdom of such habits.

Natasha Patel now takes the subway to home on weekends, saving 20 dollors on the Cab.Sports Cable is not an option for those who are out of jobs.

My Comments – Here in India,even the poor have cable connection, and go in autos sometimes.We are richer than the Americans,wow.


It’s a Dog’s Life – HT- 24^th june 08

The World’s richest dog has lost 5 million pounds (40 crores)- but can still look forward to a life of luxury.New York hotel Billionaire Leona Helmsley left 6 million pounds to her beloved dog,Trouble ( what a name) when she died in August last year,aged 87.But her will was challenged by close relatives who succeeded in reducing the dog’s inheritance to 1 million pounds ( 8 crores).

My comments – Better to be a dog in American than a human in asia.I would love to be in the lap of Vidya Balan,Deepika Padukone, snuggling and sniffing here and there.God u are not kind to Kamalji.And I think I too will leave Tuffy something, maybe my Bar, and buy him a cow, so he can have as much milk as he wants eh !And when he tires, my bar is always there.

Headlines With no comments



Klum Wants a Naked Sunday – TOI – 19/11/07 page 2

Invalid Lawyer seeks Alimony from Wife – TOI

Loyalty Pays off – Servant gets Multi Crore Gift – TOI – 21^st dec 06

Multiplexes bekon with Booze and Baby-Sitting – TOI 22^nd Dec 06


An interesting pic from the news papers.



SOME INTERESTING ORBITUARIES


This Sahu Shital Case - The son keeps talking to his mother and father, and he puts orbitsof both of them, and keeps updating them on the court cases that are on.

Shri Himat - they have put the song from Jab Pyar Kissi Se Hota Hai - Sau Saal Pehle, Mujhe Tumse Pyar Tha, the Mohd Rafi one.Seems it is the 100th birthday of Shri Himmat .Do we normally celebrate a dead person's Birthday ?Well that seems to be the case.

I would not want anyone to celebrate my birthday in the orbits after i am gone.dont waste money , as i would not get to know also, as i have heard there are no newspapers upstairs.Forget me and get on in life.Simple.




Natasha - Daughter in Law of Natwar Singh, the Congress MP.Committed suicide from a Hotel Top.She did not get along with her husband , who was alleged to be involved in the Volkar Case, the Iraq Oil case of a few years back.
Has Natwar Singh changed his name to NATS .Gettting modern eh

Michelle Vadra - Sister in law of Priyanka Gandhi and sister of Robert Vadhera.She had come to Jaipur a day or two before her death, to attend a wedding .As she left for Delhi in her Car, they met with an accident at Behror, that is midway to Dehli and she died.Tragic end to such a wonderful girl.



A Sindhi and Silly Joke

A Sindhi having no child,no money, no home,a blind mother,prays to God,

God happy with his prayers, grants him one wish

Sindhi " I want my Mom to see my wife putting diamond bangles on my child's hands in my new mansion"

God - Damn it I still have a lot to learn from these Sindhis.


Tomorrow will come Khuswant's Singh's column in the Hindustan Times.He is my Guru.I am posting my column today, a day before,and i am curious to know if mine is better or his.Just a thought.


KAMAL MAHTANI

Dear Kamal
That doesnt sound good does it?????????????? Both Pilots gone to sleep!
I too have heard that they are over worked and ofcourse over pay too!
What your friend said is certainly hilarious. Nowadays they treat planes as just some toy or bus or something and these pilots as mere drivers.. Not to discredit us mere drivers.. still everyone needs adequate rest.
Ofcourse Kamalji knows to talk his way thru.. Maybe it would have been better of you were a pilot that way we are all assured of FREE drinks or FREE champagne in the plane...
Vishwanathan is news tome..how did he get away duping.. how did he really manage to stay in luxury hotels.. I am sure you know why I am asking all these Q's?
What can I say about Americans cutting down costs!!! I am truly glad you are one rich bloke!
Very good Sindhi Joke.
And ofcourse your column is far better than whose that Singh's column ANY DAY.. way to Go!!

Sir,

One picture in this post is offensive to my female sensibilities. I am not sure whats so interesting in pictorial view of it. Same effect can be achieved in verbalising it. Newspapaers print such pictures for clearly controversial and financial reasons. If this picture belonged to any of your family members, you would understand its oddness.

I know many IL members will somehow evade to raise this issue. Some will ignore it and praise the rest of the post. But I am really disappointed to see this. IL is fairly clean platform in no need for any cheap stuff, So please take a note of other's sensibilities before posting any such material.

Thanks,
Ria

I go with ria2006.
Even i find this offensive and find it v irrelevant.
This is one clean community and even if our family members check what we are doing here there is nothing they can blame a woman for spending time in IL.But such posts may put the clean image of IL in danger.

suji

dear Ilites

M apologies fir the picture.I request the moderators to delete the picture.Regrds.kamal

Dear I lites,

I have just deleted the picture.Now tell me if u liked the rest of the blog.Regrds.kamal

Dear Kamalji,

Loved your post . Entertaining as usual!!

Ok now coming to your blog, Well you can put up your collar Kamalji because you are the Khushwant Singh for IL..
Well i guess the pilot sagas definitely need some immediate attention,Peeo yaar par dont play with others life.

Sad to read the obituaries! I saw they were backdated ,you have gone through some sound search!


Dunno about Kutte ki maut but Kutte ki Zindagi would have many male takers I guess going by the way youve described your fantasy!!

Nice blog Kamalji. Waiting for your next!!

Regards,
Devika

Dear Kamalji,

First of all thanks for the lovely photos of Mumbai in Monsoon....

Sleepy pilots? Looks like I better contact Morrabbin airport for some flying lessons. Cannot trust these pilots anymore. On a serious note, what can a person do? He stays up the whole night flying from one time zone to another & then he is asked to fly again...

Just imagine Kamalji, the dark ambience, soothing music, the AC......who wouldn't fall asleep in the cockpit? The passengers must have made abeeline for their respective places of worship for their Punarjanam....


This Vishwanathan character sure knows how to,live the high life...I agree a few canes are worth it for a supply of good food, 5 star room..But Kamlji, I am sure Jhulelalji will certainly give you a pride of place in his Durbar. Why? Because you are doing a noble seva of making people laugh by your works & whatever BL/food you consume, it is "Mehnat ki Kamaii". I am sure you is looking down at you saying " Keep it up".

Americans are penny wise & pound foolish. Ask them to stop their policy of "Thaang Adaana" in other people's business. Economy will stabilise on it's own.

Wow! That Kutta is lucky...But imagine the various relatives trying to get rid of it "Pran" style..Jeekar bhi it is kutte ki maut for it....

I miss reading Obits on TOI. Some of them are master pieces. Wow Nats is going mod. Well if the Bahu is glamourous Sasurji's Khandaan has to keep up with her.

Well updating the father on the court case? That is new.

Oh come on Kamalji, the Sindhis can learn from you. You can teach them there is more to life than just business.

AS for Kushwant Singh, he is good. On IL there can be only one Kamalji.

Regards,

Corallux

hi kamalji,
sleepy pilots....what next ? ....thank god that the ATC had some mechanism to wake them up in time... and the passengers on that flight must have had some really strong horoscopes !!

well, after seeing all the products advertised for pets here, i really have to say dogs and cats in the US are lucky....talk about a million bucks !!

obits are always hilarious, kamalji...next only to matrimonial ads...keeps reading those too....your sunday paper will keep you smiling for the rest of the week... :) :)

these days everyone in the US is on a cost cuttting spree....they keep wasting everything indiscriminately and one fine day realise the fact that resources are scarce...
i often feel that most things needed for daily life are cheaper in india than in the usa....

Originally Posted by anandchitra

Dear Kamal
That doesnt sound good does it?????????????? Both Pilots gone to sleep!
I too have heard that they are over worked and ofcourse over pay too!
What your friend said is certainly hilarious. Nowadays they treat planes as just some toy or bus or something and these pilots as mere drivers.. Not to discredit us mere drivers.. still everyone needs adequate rest.
Ofcourse Kamalji knows to talk his way thru.. Maybe it would have been better of you were a pilot that way we are all assured of FREE drinks or FREE champagne in the plane...
Vishwanathan is news tome..how did he get away duping.. how did he really manage to stay in luxury hotels.. I am sure you know why I am asking all these Q's?
What can I say about Americans cutting down costs!!! I am truly glad you are one rich bloke!
Very good Sindhi Joke.
And ofcourse your column is far better than whose that Singh's column ANY DAY.. way to Go!!

Dear Chitra,

Well as a minister did recently say to the pilot, last month, that he is just a glorified Driver.HAHA.Yes they do need rest for sure, as it involves so many lives at stake.


Well I would certainly give all of u free drinks to drown yr sorrow for making yr purses light with the heavy tickets.HAHA.That is small consolation , the first would be free, and thenext ones well will charge u good and proper.I want u to get hooked forst, that’s a sindhi for u.


AC,, send me yr email ID in a note, and I willscan and send u this cutting and others which I can’t post really as there are so many.I have thousands of such clippings collected over the years.

Today I read about Khuswant column, and it was all about how much traffic is there on the highway.

Maybe the old (Khuswant) gives way to new (Kamalji) You have encouraged me Chitra, who knows u may see me in the newspapers soon with a column of mine.HAHA.

Now after Sardar jokes u may have Sindhi Jokes eh ! I received this day before on my mobile and found it funny to share with u.

Thanks and Regards.kamal