Self gift

On the Valentine’s Day in the year 2013, I had published http://www.indusladies.com/forums/s...7516-suggestions-for-valentines-day-gift.html extending my helping hand to the women who struggle with their better half. On this wonderful day, I have more suggestions this year to the husbands as the technological developments take place throughout the world.

At the cost of repeating myself, I say here that the women are brilliant, way ahead of men in remembering, handling situations with confidence and hence my idea is only to the pathetic men today to set right their better-half who are very forgiving but not before a reprimand that the husband could never forget. The ideas are for the men to handle questions confidently instead of having a funny look, the moment the line of questioning begins, be confident instead of knowing something is wrong but unable to identify using the intellectual faculty because of overwhelming fear and surrender unconditionally without holding a white flag.

Last time, I gave some gift ideas to the wives and this time, I am suggesting some self-gift ideas for the husbands so that they could save themselves from sudden turbulence:

1) Event Vibrator: Mostly the men forget birthday, wedding anniversary and Valentine’s day, three important events that the husbands deserved to be punished for forgetting. The Marital Calendar I had suggested last time was an electronic device that reminds the important events but this one is a Vibrator that hangs like a necklace and vibrates the day before the event so that the husband doesn’t forget to wish or bring an invaluable gift.

2) Temp Watch: Whenever there is a personal date with the spouse, this watch should increase the temperature in the wrist that should remind the husband that he is missing some important appointment with the spouse. Because of his busy schedule, if he removes the watch and keep it on the desk, it should have a voice recording that states, “Where are you planning to sleep tonight?” This will make the husband rush back home as quickly as possible.

3) Wed Assist: Similar to Siri, the husband should buy an electronic device that using the calendar events associated with marriage, should autodial to a) book a table for dinner, b) order the flower and chocolates that the spouse likes and c) deliver a surprise gift at home debiting the bank account. An hour or two before the appointed time for dinner, it should activate a devise that is set below the seat to push the husband out of the chair to let him know that it is time to leave or face unforgettable consequences.

4) Wed Voice synthesizer: This device should be always charged and should be worn in the neck. Automatically, on the day of the event, it should wish the spouse a very happy birthday, a happy wedding anniversary or happy Valentine’s Day in the husband’s voice. When the surprised wife turns back to acknowledge and appreciate the husband, the husband should grin and give a big hug in response so that it looks natural.

5) Tele recorder & whisper: A device that auto record the events when the husband and wife were together to celebrate birthday or wedding anniversary or Valentine’s day. Most of the time, when the questions such as, “Do you remember what you have gifted me last year?” or “Do you remember what I was wearing when we went out to celebrate the same event last year?” this tele recorder should whisper the name of the item or what she was wearing the same time last year. When the wife appreciates the memory, please don’t forget to say, “How can I not remember how beautiful you looked on that day?”

Those who doesn’t know how to handle technology, God Bless you.

 

Dear Vijiakka,

Thank you for your response. I thought this snippet was going to be orphaned for the rest of its life. Perhaps, I should have written it in the Relationship forum. People would have filled up 50 pages and ask for more answer sheet from the moderator. I have written another snippet in "Education and Personal Growth" with a title, "Stress and mindfulness" and no one responded to this other than Guari.

When I was writing blogs in 2012-2013, only 2 to 4 people used to respond. Someone came up with the suggestion that I should write in the snippet section. After that, I got some considerable response.

Viswa

 

Dear Akanksha,

Thank you for your response and I thought that this snippet is lost in transit for a while. As long as I learn something new and generate humor, the company is good whether they are young or younger or youngest (the word old is not to be used with reference to women).

Is that really a genetic defect or shock reaction to the loss of IQ to understand the line of questioning? Technology malfunctioning is always a possibility. Your cruel thinking directed at men has resulted in me ordering the design people to sync the synthesizer as well as tele recorder with the DNA of wife. It will work like pairing of blue tooth in order to avoid mishaps that would result in red tooth.

Neither technology nor a book written, "understanding wife for dummies" would help as each one has a very unique style and method in dealing with the life partner. Only consolation is the women are born forgivers and dummies continue to survive.

Viswa

 

Dear Rith,

Thank you for responding to this post. Please don't forget to look at the gift items of my previous posts. It looks like you have narrowed it down to the Event Vibrator.

I have no special devices and my memories are serving me well so far. Occasionally, if it fails, my body has enough strength to handle a weapon called cotton pillow.

Viswa

 

Hi Curiousgals78,

I am so happy to know you found those gadgets useful. Even if the hubby is equipped with all the gadgets, it helps occasionally to switch them off to receive brickbat as it eventually turns out to be a happy ending. What say?

Viswa