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Pilots Flying High

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Nov 30, 2015.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Pilots Flying High


    Today was amused to read this article about the unfaithful pilots of Air India

    Air India mulls Rs 1-crore bond for new pilots to prevent poaching - The Economic Times

    You need a driver to drive a car, well, u need a pilot to drive an airplane.And where to the pilots come from ? They are trained. Air India spends at least 30 lakhs or more to train a pilot. And they make the pilot sign a bond, of Rs/ 10 lakhs, that if he leaves before, X number of years, he will have to pay the penalty of 10 lakhs.


    Well , the other airlines, tempt these Air India pilots with a higher salary of 1 lakh extra, to come to them, and agree to pay the 10 lakh to Air india, for the Bond. As it is some 60 odd pilots have left in the last year to join other airlines.it seems it is cheaper to poach than to coach !!!!!


    As a young child, in our times of sixties or so when we were kids, we dreamt to be pilots or engineers. As we grew to teens, I preffered the pilot thing, for I realized , there are babes on board too, all pretty, young and decked up, and u can have many a fling, before , during and after marriage too. So much variety around eh ! Not my fault, that I am tempted.


    But Air India pilots have grandmothers on board as Airhostesses, whose lap is good enough to keep your head on and sleep. They can cuddle u to sleep. Romance ? Don’t even think of it.Who knows, our Air india pilots are put off by these grandmothers, and want to cross over because the rival airlines have pretty airhostesses eh ! Who knows , seriously, what other temptations are there for them.



    And a few airhostesses had their fortunes changed, Maureen Wadia hooked Nulsi Wadia, The Bombay Dyeing boss and so many airhostesses became models and some film actresses. In the olden days, there was a condition, that the airhostess remained unmarried. As she married, she had to leave her job!! No wonder we had young ladies up there. Now married mothers and grandmothers rule the roost.



    King Fisher changed the rules, got the prettiest airhostesses and as folklore goes, Malaya is said to have been personally in the team, when they selected the airhostesses. He had to nod his head for the final yes. His fligts were expensive, so I never travelled on them. Why spend 2000 more for an hour and a half, for jaipur mumbai flights,I prefer the cheaper Air india, so what if the grandmothers are there. They were kind to me. When I requested if I can have an extra lunch, most of the times they would oblige me, so Air india was paisa vasool for me.And still is.They give u 25 kgs luggage against the 15 kgs of other airlines, and remember they charge something like 300 bucks for a extra kg, so I gain 3000/- extra on the luggage , and plus they aer cheaper most of the times, plus they are the only airlines these days that serve u food up there. Well for all this, so what if I have grandmas up there.HAHA



    Coming back to the pilots. When private airlines came 20 years back, there was East west Airlines, after it closed, came Damania, then came modi luft , all closed one by one. The pilots who were tempted to these private airlines, were poached from Air india, were offered highter salaries, and then they were left in the lurch.Today they aer no where.



    The air india pilots as it is gross 5 lakhs and above, and when they retire, aroudn 3 lakhs as monthly pension plus god knows how many free tickets for themselves and family to fly abroad. What more do u guys want man ? Why do u guys get greedy, how many in india earn a fraction of what u guys earn, and what frill I guys have ? A job from where no one can force u to leave, till u retire, in the private airlines u can be kicked off anytime.


    I think, there must be a bond also, along with one crore bond, that says that after u resign, u cannot be a pilot for another airline for say 2 years. That will serve the purpose too.And foreign airlines warned to get their pilots from abroad, and if trhey poach, their licences to fly will be cancelled.That willput the fear of the gods in them.


    Next birth, seriously I will tell the lord to make me a pilot with Air india, ah what a life, babes and grandmothers, all around me all the time, great food, foreign travell, staying if abroad hotels , with airhostesses in the next room, and wife no where around, heaven on earth eh !


    HAHA.


    KAMAL MAHTANI

    Sorry no jokes this time, i transferred jokes from mobile vial email to my desktop, and they have not arrived since anhour.
    Most jokes about Amir Khan , and his wife. pretty funny ones, but i am sure most of u must have read them.

    one was indrani mukerjee advising, that when a woman is worried, when her husband is around, it is time to change the husband and not the country.

    HAHA
     
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  2. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Haha I can imagine the granny forcing you on to her lap and force feeding you the lousy air India food ."Good baby eat it Otherwise granny will be angry and will not talk to you".Won't you love to have them babysit you, a 100 KG baby by your own admission? Lot of genuine babies not grown up ones, also travel by AI. These stewardesses are ideal to handle them.

    PS: Aid India food is lousy except in the Delhi Chennai sector I always take the early morning flight to Chennai because AI serves a great south Indian breakfast of Ponga/Upma and vadas with piping hot sambhar and chutney.
     
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  3. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Kamalji,

    A big Air India fan eh! Well my kids loved flying the long leg from here and me too - all the food and sleep! The return service was so so we felt. You know Kamalji talking of luggage, we are used to flying light yes even to India and the last time I flew Air India I was called back to the counter because they wanted to make sure that I had indeed checked in one suitcase for three people. That guy would not believe me and wanted to make sure I had not lost my luggage. I am sure babes, grandmas and all those things will make a difference on a shorter leg, think long haul all one wants is some sleep, good fellow passengers and food.
     
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  4. twinklingstar

    twinklingstar Gold IL'ite

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    what sir...ur world rotates around pretty women only ;-)
    ya it is true that now a days, leave aside airlines, but where ever u go attrition rates are too high. no one is loyal to the company or any organisaton. just show some money and they will be jumping jacks ....
    and vijaya malya....valah valah..i always hate this man..now dont ask me why :)
     
  5. surekhap

    surekhap Platinum IL'ite

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    dear kamalji,

    Happy to give the first feedback, i was missing this chance for the last few posts.

    I think the Air India pilots are not greedy for money but greedy for the super model air hostesses as air India have only grandmas around.

    pilot 2.jpg pilot.jpg :rotfl :rotfl

    Missing the jokes sirji.
     
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  6. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    @kamalji sir,
    I remembered a joke that I saw on my DH's whatsapp.
    Q to Sardar : What is the only flying mammal?
    Sardar : Airhostess ....


    Why to be a pilot in these days when planes go missing or get shot down? Even to be a passenger(flying once in a while) is so risky these days.
     
  7. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji,
    So, you are one AI Fans...pamapered by grannies.Do you go back to nostalgia of being pampered in childhood by your grandmother? I haven't travelled by AI in recent times. So, do not know much about that aspect. I have travelled by British Airways last week...all the hostesses were money (90%), not grandpas but quite young. Very courteous. Food...I prefer to eat either in the airport or at home rather than on flights.
    No jokes? Disappointed.
    Syamala
    Yes, I do not understand the srtikes by AI Pilots...they are paid so well!
     
  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamalji,

    Being a shrewd businessman, you chose value for money as opposed to beautiful air hostesses and expensive airlines. It is time for Air India to announce a share in daily revenue to pilots and airhostesses. Not only the airlines profitability would improve substantially but also the service.

    Viswa
     
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  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji,

    You take the early flight for the good food, even if it is a few thousand more expensive than the day one ? i just go by the rate, and if they had standing rates, as in buses, i would opt for them , to get a thousand off, what is a hour and a half standing.HAHA

    Well, i am rate consious, and the time is not muich, maybe for long flights i might opt differently but this is good enough fo the short haul.

    Regards

    kamal

     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sabita,
    You flew air india to usa ? u are one of the few persons who travel light, mostly i have seen people huffing and puffing with luggage.Long haul, u cannot guarantee good co passengers, if the difference is less, then fine, otherwise i am price consuious.

    Regards

    kamal

     

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