Those Little Things!

[justify]I am in tears as I watch the first few runners cross the finish line in the New York City Marathon. My kids watch me and shrug off and continue watching with me. These little things do that to me and I know not why. Well, if they are used to my display of emotions, I am also used to their shrugs. Just when I think I am comfortable with that thought, I am reminded of the night a few days ago. We are driving back from one of their activities and my DS in his most indifferent voice and attitude that he can muster up goes, "Amma, is some weird special thing going on? Look at that moon, all orange and bright like some harvest moon or some such thing". I tear up for I know that it was his way of drawing my attention to something he thinks that I might have missed and would actually enjoy. We pull over take a couple of pictures and talk while he acts all irritated but this momma knows better and he knows that these little things makes his mom really happy!

You know with fall clearly in the air, rain is also more than I like. After all it is only bringing the temperatures down faster. As I notice the Sun peep in every now and then, crazy that I am I cannot help but look for a rainbow. Well, I did get answered with one, albeit a faint one. At this point I am happy to take anything. I continue the day and reconcile with the showers and then suddenly there is that urge to get up and peep out. Guess what, and you are right! There is not just a rainbow but a double rainbow and I can almost see the beginning of the rainbow or so it feels like. I am delighted and in the background I hear my daughter's friend go “Why is your mom so happy and acting like that” and then I hear my DD go “I don’t know, but I can tell you that she was born that way!” And my eyes well up with tears. How grateful I am that she understands that these things make me happy!

I fill gas at the gas station and find that I am unable to start my car. I call my DH seeking help but then a gentleman in the next car offers to jump start my car. I thank him profusely and as I settle down, my DD in the back goes, "Mom I could tell you were really happy that you got help. You know there are times when you pretend to be happy but right now, you are really happy!" Will you not agree that even you would cry to get that understanding? I explain to her the joys of being happy and seeking contentment and being grateful in little things. I cannot see her face in the rearview for it is already dark but I know she understands.

I sign up for a hot yoga class, you know the one where they keep the room really hot? I have no choice - this is the only studio that offers a class at an unearthly hour that works for me and that is the only class! I need to get back to my practice. What choice do I have? I sweat it out literally all the while wondering if something is wrong with me. I take breaks as needed and I hear the instructor go "It is only in yoga you can be happy wherever you are. Yoga is non judgmental". I am not sure if I understand those words as all I see around me are people who are trying poses that I cannot even imagine, pushing their limits while I am happy taking a much needed break. After a couple of days in my own yoga class while teaching, I have this inherent need to practice with the students. As I stretch and extend various muscles, I realize that there is need and a sense for complete surrender. I am suddenly afraid I may cry in front of my students. After pushing my self in the runs I do, in the spinning class I take, in the teaching I do, in the roles I play as a mom, wife, sister etc., you have no idea how wonderful it feels to simply surrender - to that mat and that pose and just be! Finally what that yoga instructor that morning was alluding to makes perfect sense to me. Perhaps that is the sense a person gets while simply surrendering before a God! Not fighting to be anything but just being. How I long for more of those moments![/justify]

 

Dear Rihana,

How very cute of your son. You are right my friend, it is indeed always the small things. Thank you for your response.

 

Dear Syamala,

You are right and even if there are big things, the joy of small things are really different. Kids can indeed surprise us with their insight and sensitivity - all we need to do is be in tune. Thank you for your feedback.

 

Dear Vani,

I am so excited that you got the book. I cannot even begin to tell you how much it has helped me so many times. Oh trust me my friend, you will get that message just when you are ready or when you need it. Thank you for being so supportive always. Love hearing from you!

 

Not being but just being in total surrender - you said it all jskls. That joy is incredible and the lightness that goes with it. You know that! Thank you as always my friend.