Embarassing experience for couples in cinema theatres

Dear members,

I am trying to touch upon a very sensitive topic of adult interest.Read with caution , if matters regarding passion and physical intimacy offend you, don't read....

Wife and I in our forties enterted a multiplex movie hall in Chennai on an odd working day we had to take leave from offices and had some hours to kill and beat the hot Chennai sun in May.

It was a morning show and a Hollywood English movie at that...When we made our way searching for seats in the dimly lit, in fact, dark interiors we noticed quite a few couples occupying seats then. They were all young college going youngsters who had obviously bunked their classes as we noticed everyone of them has books and bags that are the usually carried to the classes.

Hmmm! So...

We plonked down in our seats and silently concentrated on the screen. But that was not to be.
We were, as our eyes got adjusted to the darkness revealed ,surrounded by such couples who had occupied most of the corner seats and dark inaccessible ones. Ostensibly to steal some 'physical moments', not possible outside!

The couples brazenly indulged in passionate display of physical intimacy so much so that my wife and I were acutely embarassed.

There were tinkling sounds of bangles of restless hands, sighs, moans and mild giggles , suppressed loud whispers and protests by some gals when boy-friends' hands roamed free in darkness.
"Shh, Keep quiet, That's too much..oh.. Noooo" etc were clearly heard from seated couples all around us..they were not referring to the movie then, for sure!

A couple whose silhoutte of heads we could see entwined in the next row made unsuppressed kissing sounds too...we could also see, although it was forced on us, them being between us and the screen, they tried to sleep on each others' lap etc...

We two, a married, but a bit old fashioned couple in public, turned or rather felt turning red in the darkness too..

We had to come out and away from the theatre in the interval..we had seen enough and I am not talking about the movie...

Well, the film was censored but what happened 'live' was certainly NOT..

To be prudish, Is this what Gen- next coming to?

Love moves the world , they say..It was a 'moving 'experience for us too, as we moved out of this scene!

One would not have expected that this puppy love would condone such acts too from students, who are paid by their parents to be in their classes...

Besides what about us? When can we now enter theaters where there will be no uncensored live scenes displayed.?
Think if we had taken our children there?

Are decent , well behaved and innocent couples a diminishing and negligible community then?
Display of affection in Public places ought to be an offence and should attract penal provisions

What do you members have to say?

Regards

NKumar

Kumar,

Thats the pathetic state and its been for ages.. not now..

I guess, the management has to have some social responsibility and not allow such students watching shows in the morning hrs(class times).. But unfortunately thats just my dream and will never happen since who will go against getting more money for the shows right?

Secondly with so many theaters in a city and such a huge population checking out every show is next to impossible by law&order... Again it has to be the theatre management looking into this.

Also, I guess parenting might help.. I mean more than strict parents, being friends and talking to your kids about all this nonsense and how stupid these kids are, might have your kids think and not fall into this flesh moogam.

I think todays kids are over exposed and half educated hence they want to learn things practically...but fail to diffrenciate where the practicality should come and where not.

Also i think the values and ethics are going down.

This same experience I faced 8 years before my marriage when I went along with my Mother to a Movie. We heard some noices 4 seats away from us which was in the corner. My mom got irritated with these scenes she immediately shouted at them saying 'If you want to make all these noises do it after marriage or there are more places outside not in public theatre' ... For few moments, there was no noise and after some time, they both got up and went away ...

My stand on it may shock many people. But I empathise with youngesters for going through this. Physical desire is as natural as other biological desires. So their need to express it to each other is not something we should totally underestimate.

However we as Indian society are pretty prudish about everything. Hence we have to face such incidents ourselves. For some reason our social fabric doesnot give lee way for expression of physical love between two sexually active people until marriage. I think that s biggest farce we all live in. Its as simple as bodily need as wanting to have food. Frankly speaking marriage doesnot make any biological changes suddenly but everythign changes in eyes of Indian society. One is "legally allowed" to have physical intimacy with opposite gender. I think more a society is exposed and evolved, more this is going to be hard reality we all should learn to accept. In western countries , students mostly walk out of parents , so they have other places to be intimate. Here in India an innocent couple is frowned upon if both want to kiss each other. I in my whole mind dont see anything wrong in this. Their physical body is mature to handle it. Our own mental perspective is not.

I think until a social change in perspective comes along, we will all have to go through this agony of unwanted social changes. For a young couple, its not easy to do this either. They are just so helpless and at loss of options that they have to resort to this.
So probably somewhere in our prudishness, we forgot to make space for their privacy too.

I totally understand some premature youngester wanting to follow the suit. They do endanger their own safety and life. But that's where parental upbringing comes in picture. For most of Indian parents , "Sex not discussed is best education to kids". But I think earlier we handle the facts better its for kids as well as parents. For any kid going ashtray I think parents share equal blame for not laying proper foundation.

So dont treat this as infectious malfunction in youths. This is outcome of society 's dual stand on anything sexual.

Ria

Kumar,

This kind of situation not only happens in theatres, but also in many public parks, beaches and restaurants. If we question these youngsters, in their defense they would say, that they have no privacy elsewhere, meaning their parents will not be aware of their actions.

In their mind, what they do is 100% correct since they have no other options. This is totally ridiculous ! Some people even retort back saying.."Why are you watching us, when you've come to watch the movie?" These people have absolutely no concern about their surroundings and live in their own world !

Again, parenting comes into question here. Many parents are extremely strict with their children, which drives them to do things behind their back. That is the sorry state of affairs !

Krithika

Hello Ria,

You've pointed out that physical desire is natural like biological desire and that it needs to be expressed. It does needs to be expressed at the right time and the right place..and not make others feel uncomfortble. If you can't control this urge in a theatre..please leave and take a room..simple as that..!

Sorry to be crude here...can we say the urge to answer the call of nature is something so natural..that we can do the same in public? Don't we control it and do it behind closed doors inside the bathroom??

Again, there is no comparison between the Indian society and other countries..cos that will become a topic for a big discussion!

I've been living in the US for many years now and of course, travelled to many places here..we do witness people kissing, hugging etc...but they are pretty decent to move away or stop when they see others. Not even once have i witnessed such incidents in movie theatres and beaches !

There is nothing wrong in holding hands, hugging or sitting close...what matters is, if one takes it up a notch...irrespective of where we live..it does matter. This becomes all the more queasy if we have children !

So ,Ria, we do live in a society and needs to follow some decorum. Calling the Indian society as hypocrites or having double standards is not correct.

Krithika

Kumar,
you were lucky, at least there was the cloak of darkness, albeit thin, in the theatre. When we visited the VGP Golden Beach some time back, we had a hard time averting our eyes all the time. people were behaving so badly, I was shocked. The fact that we had 3 or our nieces and our son, all youngesters, with us made it more difficult. They too felt embarassed.

Ria is right in a way. All those upholding the Indian society, please listen.
In old times, child marriages and then teenage marriages were the norm. So by the time a girl attains puberty (the normal age then was around 14-15) she would be with her husband and there was no chance of them yearning to fulfil their physical needs.
Then the marriable age of people came to 20s and even then it was possible for them to have a hold on their lives.
Now people get married in their late 20s or even later due to education, career and many such things. Marriage of a teenager is not even heard of in majority of societies (there are exceptions).
And the age of girls attaining puberty is 10 now. And above that, the exposure they get thro the media.What are we to do?
We expect our children to be very mature about their life and goal generally but conservative in matter of sex. Is it possible?
Only we can hope that our own children do not behave like this, if we have educated them properly about the dangers of such things.
Shifting out of the joint family after marriage was taboo some years back. Now even parents suggest this to their sons, to keep the relations from becoming sour. Like that, may be our society will change in this matter too.
Do not think that I support this behaviour, I am very much old fashioned in this matter.

Originally Posted by ria2006

My stand on it may shock many people. But I empathise with youngesters for going through this. Physical desire is as natural as other biological desires. So their need to express it to each other is not something we should totally underestimate.

However we as Indian society are pretty prudish about everything. Hence we have to face such incidents ourselves. For some reason our social fabric doesnot give lee way for expression of physical love between two sexually active people until marriage. I think that s biggest farce we all live in. Its as simple as bodily need as wanting to have food. Frankly speaking marriage doesnot make any biological changes suddenly but everythign changes in eyes of Indian society. One is "legally allowed" to have physical intimacy with opposite gender. I think more a society is exposed and evolved, more this is going to be hard reality we all should learn to accept. In western countries , students mostly walk out of parents , so they have other places to be intimate. Here in India an innocent couple is frowned upon if both want to kiss each other. I in my whole mind dont see anything wrong in this. Their physical body is mature to handle it. Our own mental perspective is not.

I think until a social change in perspective comes along, we will all have to go through this agony of unwanted social changes. For a young couple, its not easy to do this either. They are just so helpless and at loss of options that they have to resort to this.
So probably somewhere in our prudishness, we forgot to make space for their privacy too.

I totally understand some premature youngester wanting to follow the suit. They do endanger their own safety and life. But that's where parental upbringing comes in picture. For most of Indian parents , "Sex not discussed is best education to kids". But I think earlier we handle the facts better its for kids as well as parents. For any kid going ashtray I think parents share equal blame for not laying proper foundation.

So dont treat this as infectious malfunction in youths. This is outcome of society 's dual stand on anything sexual.

Ria

Sorry ladies....

This discussion. looks like is totally missing the point...Ria, ma'am, no one is talking about legality here...Only a court judge can decide what is or isn't...
Public display of affection is the topic here...Causing nuissance and disturbances to Others,,

My prudishness in theorising was only inicidental here...


If obscenity is accepted in public , even wester countries such as where you live, streaking also would have been condoned and let go...

Others too.... My point is about PUBLIC display of affections and not on affection and love as emotions, itself or on moral Policing! It ceratinly has nothing to do with their marriageable ages or what lovers should do?...Its about what these lovers should not be doing in front of everyone!



Regards


Nagesh

Nagesh

You are talking about effects you are seeing around you. I am pointing out to the reasons which leads to these effects. No social nuisance comes suddenly . Its always a result of some customs getting obsoleted with due course of civilization.

Its not bashing of indian culture as others feel. Its just pointing out that even in great civilization as Indians, some customs may get obsoleted and rusted. That doesnot degenrate the whole culture. We have history of having some of the greatest fetaures as well as some sheer extreme measures in our culture. Those who think Indian culture is blemish free. I want to remind, we did have child marriage , sati and other social nuisance like human sacrifices. So with times evolved what was held religious may prove to be against humanity. My point was only to highlight that double stand we take on this issue. Couples sullying your ambience are not some aliens. They come from same houses as ours. Somewhere in our social and moral brigade, we didnt make space for it. Thats why we are forced to see such nuisance in public.

ria