Am I passionate or obsessive?

My five year old grand daughter asked me to tell a few words ending with the sound ‘sh(o)n’.I mechanically said,’dictation ‘ and ‘station’.She happily ran away to join her playmates.

But it started creating a trigger in my mind.

I knew a neatly dressed smart mother of two boys aged 6 and 4.Whenever her sons return from school very hungry,she would never bother to satiate their hunger or thirst. She would arrange the books neatly in the cupboard, place the uniforms and socks in the laundry basket,try to set the dining chairs in the exact angle moving them here and there.The children overwhelmed with hunger would start crying and fall asleep in the sofa.. Had she prepared 2 dosas with the batter readily available, children would have been relieved of their hunger and gladly obeyed her instructions. She was so rigid and had scant regard for others.


.She was too methodical, meticulous and over organized incurring the displeasure of one and all in the family.Now, diagnosed as psychosis,always under medication, unfortunately she is not even able to attend the marriage of her son.What discipline/indiscipline is this!

My mother with lot of children/grandkids never bothered to arrange the toys. According to her the disorganised dolls and books denote how happy and free the children are.

I remember a chess player who will be brooding about various moves of the opponent in the next day tournament,or a choreographer moving her limbs even while watching the TV serial as her mind is hovering about the abhinayas and multi rhythmic patterns., as the complicated jathis in chatusram, tisram and sankeernam dominate her mind.

Instances are not uncommon where an ideal house wife cum musician sets different goals at various times suited to her performance and also to bring out the best from her school going son. No need to talk about the computer professionals who work extensive hours almost losing their personal life ,their mind set at the stiff dead lines..The same is the mental attitude of research scholars, novelists,artists and all others whoever want to excel in their fields.Many parents are not interested in giving their daughters to research scientists, always bent on labs.

From time immemorial it was drilled into our ears to be busy like a bee, active like an ant and untiringlike a spider.J. G. Holland observes”God gives every bird his food. But he does not throw it into its nest.”

The only place where ‘success’ comes before ‘work’ is dictionary.Let not our micro wave culture misguide us that the results are instant.Nobody likes to work hard unless it is out of ‘passion'. A Successful life is one that is lived through understanding and pursuing one’s own path ,not chasing the dreams of others’..Excess passion results in ‘obsession’.
The Guinness world record is one such obsession.

Achievement,Power and belonging seem to be the three basic needs that drag people into obsession.Somehow one wants others to feel that he/she is in the top whether it is for trivial things such as wearing max number of socks in one foot, or the number of balls one can catch with a bucket on his head or the maximum number of idlies one can consume within stipulated minutes or the maximum length of beard one can have or the longest sentence one year old child can say.
Some foolish ideas have been drilled into people to make them obsessive and cranky creating a false
image of a big horizon of aspirations.
Senior citizens are no exceptions. Many men and women after retirement get glued to computers eagerly awaiting replies to whatever they wrote or keep themselves in readiness to give suitable responses.Is it passion or obsession? psychiatrists clearly define passionate people as those who fight willingly pulling themselves to the edge and obsessees as those who are pushed to the edge.

But for common man obsession is an automatic outcome of ambition,the essential need of every individual.There appears to be a very thin line of demarcation between ‘passion at its maximum’ and’obsession’.Nobody knows where to draw the line, since the situation varies from person to person. ‘Passion’ may be either in painting, drawing, music,yoga or social work.In the same way obsession may relate to simple reading of the news paper or cover to cover to analysis of magazines to greater task of undertaking to do most complicated jobs within the shortest duration and venture into unknown areas just for name and fame.

My friend's son after completing his degree wanted to join Isha Yoga centre.The Guruji after interviewing him asked him to go back and continue his studies.Reason given for rejection was he had excessive passion for yoga learning,The master said 'excessive passion is the symptom of obsession and he may not be suitable at the present."For learning any thing, a simple interest with basic intelligence will do and they can be moulded and not these extra ordinary passionate individuals" Guruji remarked.
The boy totally dejected came back, felt depressed,joined International Institute of Yoga in Bihar, got Masters.He does not to start any Yoga Institute, neither does he want to work for any organization, .At 41, he simply sits at home causing mental agony to one and all.Was Guruji's assumption correct? Or Guruji's rejection is the main cause of his present situation?God only knows.

People who have obsession in certain areas may perform very well and excel others in other aspects.Result is the best measurement of human progress.It may not matter if one is obsessive or passionate as long as’ success’ succeeds.Many eminent personalities like Benjamin Franklin,Thomas Alwa Edison and Steve Jobs had accepted that their victory was not due to their special talents but only due to their ‘obsessive passions’Every human being in this world is obsessive in one aspect or the other, on one occasion or the other.No one is free from this universal phenomenon.

Can we completely do away with’ obsession?”” A definite’NO’ will be the answer.

“ Our passions are the winds that propel our vessel.Our reason is the pilot that steers her.Without winds the vessel would not move andWithout the pilot she would be lost.”-is a popular proverb. A careful watch over your passion,learning the trick by reason to unfix your attention , timely creative diversion to revitalize your energy may work out the magic.

That day some one was talking about the distinction between passionately obsessive and obsessively pssionate and wanted to drag me into conversation.I simply withdrew myself and simply escaped.

A harmonious blend, though rare, is a divine gift.

Jayasala 42

 

Dear Daisy 2015,
You are right. Every one wants to get recognition.They want top the list. They continue their passion only with the right motive.But without their knowledge they become obsessive, which they don't want to accept.It is a path to be dreaded carefully.

Jayasala 42

 

Dear Coolgal123,
'amruthamapi atyadhikam visham bhavathi'
Well said.
Even nector in excess brings harm.
athyadhik barasna, athyadhik dhoop,jyadha prasang and maun sab kuch haani hee pahunchaate hain.

What a nice statement! Same thing applies to excess ambition

Jayasala 42

 

Dear Surekhap,You have caught the point. But unfortunately we always think that we are within our limits and it is passion in us that is kindling us.

Obsession is very silent and it just takes viswaroopam only when things go beyond our control.Man governed by 'ego' may not like to accept that he is obsessed.In these days of independence and individual thinking many parents have to keep hello-hello relationship with their adolescent children.Many boys think that it is manliness to be obsessed over things.

Jayasala 42

 

Dear Joylokhi,
You are the most practical woman.We cannot enforce what we consider 'discipline' in our children unless it is self realised by them.We have our own lakshman Rekha which our maturity has taught us not to transgress, in order to keep the harmomy in the family.May be we have also out of age and experience have come out of certain obsessive thoughts.Both way it is good.

The obsessions which we might have been holding tight, naming them as 'passions' slowly loosen the grips as age advances.Our priorities too change, perceptions change and the change is definitely for the better.


Thank you for sharing your nice thoughts and experience.

Jayasala 42