Puberty Rituals

When we were discussing about Death Rituals ,Vani Vyas raised the topic about Puberty Rituals..



Puberty is the time between childhood and adulthood when girls and boys mature physically and sexually. It is the period when a girl is becoming a woman and a boy is becoming a man. Puberty is marked by changes such as breast development and menstruation in girls and facial hair growth and ejaculation in boys.
Puberty is also the start of adolescence, which is a longer period of emotional change.
In South India, the brahmin community does not give much importance to this ritual.
It is essentially a home affair.On the 3rd day 'steamed Rice flour) called puttu mixed with jaggery is prepared and distributed among women.Rice flour when steamed rises up and increases thrice in volume, just an indication of family development.On the 4th day the girl is normally adorned well with traditional dress and aarti is taken to ward off evil.


But in all other communities puberty ritual is really a big affair -by way of prestige and expenditure.The girl is kept in a separate thatched enclosure for a few days.The girl is given egg with gingelly oil,steamed urat dhal ,thil and jaggery every day to make the girl's hip stronger, more fit for married life, child-bearing, etc.
All the relatives,near and distant come each day in turns with lot of gifts and food items and bathe the girl and the procedure continues for 9 to 11 days.



In earlier days the need was to announce to the society that the girl had attained puberty at the right age, that there was thus nothing wrong with her physical development and, the parents of eligible boys would come seeking alliance. Today, however, it is saner to keep the entire matter wrapped up as a very personal affair and proceed; that will be the best. But I find that many young girls are very much interested in having the function conducted in big halls and would like to be at centre stage.


This puberty ritual is being celebrated in all parts of India -Maharashtra, Gujarat,Punjab and Rajasthan in some way or other.In Kerala they keep a bunch of coconut flower in a brass vessel in front of the girl indicative of many number of children the girl would give birth to.Girls were thought of 'reproducing machines' and there were no family planning schemes as well.
Even in Western countries puberty rituals are celebrated-not necessarily on the day of attaining puberty but 11th birth day,20th birth day and in Japan there seems to be a special day in Jan,being celebrated as puberty day.


Though the celebration is conspicuous in case of girls, the puberty of boys also was an affair, not of celebration but of challenge.In Sangam Tamil literature we find that boys were fed with cold rice with a handful of 'soaked thil'(sesame seeds) by the side,The boy is supposed to squeeze the thil using his palm and fingers and whoever extracted max gingelly oil will be declared valourous and could seek the hand of a beautiful rich girl.


In many tribal communities in Amazon,there is a painful ritual for boys, followed to this day.One can’t be considered a man if he doesn’t take part in this ritual. The young boy is subject to ant bites,the most painful sting in the world.The ants are drugged and caught from the jungle and placed in a mesh glove.When the ants wake up they become very much aggressive being trapped.At this juncture the boys are supposed to wear the glouse and bear the pain --that of a gun shot-for 10 mts.The process will be repeated 20 times to prove their manhood.


Tooth filling,that is smoothing the teeth is a compulsory ritual in certain religious groups for both girls and boys,sometimes incorporated into the wedding ceremony itself.The belief is that the event frees people from all evil forces.



In the olden days, girls were wed off in their teenage years. Hence, the puberty ceremony played a big role in advertising a girl’s matrimonial availability.


I distinctly remember what happened during my eldest sister's marriage, as told by my Amma. I was not born then.My sister was just 13 in 1938.Her marriage was to be celebrated the next day.. Sambandhis were to arrive. My sister attained puberty.The house was full of relatives.My mother who was very shrewd went to the local bed maker , got three undergarments stitched in maroon colour ,with the lower portion of the undergarment thickly packed with as much cotton as possible .( Bed makers are experts in thrusting huge volumes of cotton in the smallest area )A great idea in those days, when pads were not in existence.
My mother was able to dress up my sister properly in a dark corner for the wedding too.,thanks to the non supply of electric current those days.Next day my sister was in traditional Iyer madisar.The wedding rituals, homams etc were conducted, and the gods seem to have willingly accepted the homam offerings ( whether polluted or not).They had five children. My BIL lived for 95 years and my sister,91, is still alive .More than my sister my Amma was undergoing lot of tension trying to hide certain things while the eyes of elders are on the bride. . Nowadays, the gap in the number of years between the first period and marriage has increased, as females go through these changes earlier in their lives and are getting married when they’re much older. Some girls are not opposed to this ceremony, while others are forced to undergo this process by their parents.




Physical maturity is a natural progress of a human body development. particularly for a girl, it must be traumatic enough to experience outflow of blood and such, and the added responsibility of cleansing, maintaining the same for a set period every month from now on.



It is best is to equip the girl with knowledge re maintenance and assure her that this is a perfectly normal development as prescribed by mother nature.



The more important issues would be the accompanying mental and physical development, and the challenges of raising a sane and healthy teenager to adulthood.

• Children need basic facts about puberty.
• Body changes are the most obvious signs of puberty.
• It’s important to talk about the emotional and sexual changes during puberty, too.

Better talk with your child before any signs of puberty develop so that they don’t come as surprises. If your child knows what to expect ahead of time, the changes that come with puberty will be easier to deal with.
Some parents wait until their child asks questions. If your child is shy, or doesn’t ask questions, you may have to take the lead. And if changes happen before you get to talk, your child may become confused or frightened.
[h=4]As girls and boys go through puberty, they also begin to go through big changes in their thoughts and feelings. Their emotional changes will continue through adolescence until they reach adulthood. During this time, peers become more and more important in our children’s lives. They may spend lots of time trying to be like their friends and classmates. They may also spend a lot of energy exploring how they are unique and independent.[/h]Mothers should be patient enough to teach

• which kind of pad to buy
• how to put a pad in their underwear
• how long to wear a pad before changing it
• how to throw out used pads

It’s important to tell boys about wet dreams before they happen. Otherwise, they may be surprised and upset if they don't know what wet dreams are and that they're normal.

It is the paramount duty of the single parent also to have a heart-to-heart discussion with children of either sex so that children have a smooth pass over the exciting and challenging puberty.
More than the ritual ,manner of celebration ,conflicts about the protocol of relations,expenditure ,gifts etc-it is essential that the children should pass through the adolescent stage with confidence.


Jayasala 42
[h=4][/h]

 

Dear vaniVyas,
I don't think that touching etc has any significance at all. As downward flow of blood on those days may weaken the system, as a matter of compulsory rest they would have stipulated those conditions.

In Sathya Sai organisations, no such prohibition is there.
In villages there were no compounds.It was a street house with common walls between houses.We were asked to go through the back yard, come through a circuitous route while going to school,college -an open announcement to all the neighbours
Fortunately all those ideas have become obsolete these days.

Jayasala 42

 

Dear Periamma,
Thank you for the response

Jayasala 42

 

Dear Ragini,
Especially in interor tamilnadu and Pondicherry, the girl is taken out in a floral decorated car.

jayasala 42

 

Dear Akanksha,
You are right.
Even biological facts reg women are made public.
In vedic period , there seems to be no evidence of mangal sutra dharanam.The marriage was essentially mantra oriented.There is mantra for kannika Danam and Sapthapadhi, but no mantras are there for mangalaya dharanam.
Neither in Ramayana or mahabharat we find slokas for mangalya sutra Dharanam.

After foreign invasion, mass looting in Hindu temples the security of women became a problem. But even criminals had a principle not to touch women who were married. The elders thought of protecting at least married women by making them wear mangal sutra ,made it as an essential ritual in marriage function .However in religious texts there is no specific mantra for tieing the sacred knot.( The mantra has been coined recently for the past 50 years and used in cinema wedding scenes.)
As you rightly say, Indian women have to make it public whether they have attained puberty, got married or lost the life partner.What a shame!

Jayasala 42