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Raakhi (Rocky) Relationship

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by jskls, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    What's the best time to think about ones brother other than this time of the year ? Many of us have grown up with brothers / cousins and/or married to someone's brother too. We have either brothers and sisters who grew up as cats and dogs but ended up as affectionate siblings. While some who grew up as affectionate siblings when young ended as cats and dogs in the present. There are always those siblings who share affection all along which is less prevalent though.

    I am fortunate to witness both sides of the coin in my life. A brother and sister were cats and dogs when growing up. They got together only when they did some mischievous act so that they could escape consequences or get punished together. Until sister got married they never struck a common ground on music/TV channels/education or raising pets. Marriage and moving away changed it all. They still disagree but over a period of time have learnt to respect each other. Even today if they spend two days under the same roof they would have some disagreement but they have learned to brush it aside and value what is more important. Now they stand up for each other and support each other.

    On the other hand I have witnessed "Pasa Malar"(Affectionate Flower) affection too. A devoted brother and wonderful sisters were they when growing up. Brother was treated with respect and there was never any disagreement or argument. It was a beautiful sibling relationship that would envy all the relations and friends, until he got his sisters married. Then came all the troubles. Wonderful sisters forgot all that the brother did including their marriage and buried all the beautiful things siblings shared until their marriage for a simple reason that their spouse did not like their sibling relationship.


    Wonder in both cases what was the reason for the change. In both cases, it was their spouses. One had the liberty to be the same sister to her brother without influence of her husband. At the same time they both respected each other's spouses too that helped them lead both their family lives peacefully. While in the second case, ego of the spouses played a major role that affected the beautiful brother sister relationship.


    Issues in marriage thread intrigued me to write this. And I was fortunate to fall in the category of being cats and dogs while growing up but turned best buddies now. I am blessed to have a wonderful brother along with many cousin brothers and a supporting husband too!

    Share your Raakhi(Rocky) experiences too!
     
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  2. kaniths

    kaniths IL Hall of Fame

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    Ohhh dear jskls!!! You just gave me another thread to crash & thrash!!! :rotfl :p
    But SheHULK is busy smashing her DH's head that She will be right back soon! Cya now... :whistle
     
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  3. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    jskls dear an apt thread for the occasion of Rakhi

    A love between a brother and a sister is one of the deepest and noblest of human emotions.

    To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time. ~Clara Ortega
    I can also relate to what you have written because I have two elder brothers and one younger brother and a sister. All are very loving and we had a joyous time till we got married and had to stay in different places. I had respect for my elder brothers and they were very affectionate. My elder brother could not stay with us because of his studies and after he got married he was in a different city due to his job.

    Me, my second brother and sister stayed together with my mother and grandmother and my second brother looked after us. We used to have a jolly time. He only with the help of my elder brother got us married . Since elder brother was not in the same city he had the responsibility of arranging everythin as my father was no more. He got a job for me and my sister . For my sister's marriage and first marriage in our house, he planned very well and it was a grand marriage. He is very good in planning. He wanted me also to get married and then marry but God had other plans, since he was in a good job and high position parents were after him and he got married first. He treated me and my bhabhi in the same way. Whatever he used to buy for her he used to buy for me. Never made me feel low. Wherever we used to go , go together . Then he got me married

    My younger brother and both the youngest used to fight and love also during our younger days, instead of calling vijiakka, his calling used to sound like jakka. He used to take my pen and my belongings and make me angry . That ws all during childhood. But when I was not getting married he told me to do pooja to Lord Krishna . I had got a job for him in my office in Calcutta through my boss, there he consulted an astrologer about my marriage. By God's grace I got married. After marriage my husband's niece came and stayed with us to look afte rmy mother in law. I liked her very much and with th econsultation of my husband got her married to my younger brother. From that time till today she is so affectionate and loving and still keeps in touch.

    This time for Rakhi I made it myself for my brothers, thanks to @rkgurbani , who gave me the idea .

    Sorry for the long post, your post brought happy memories and made me feel emotional. I have cut short.
     

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  4. kaniths

    kaniths IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice....

    Well... I have one sister only... Cat & Dog type to 'Paasamalars' these days! I never once thought while growing up that we could ever be in the same room peacefully even for a second but how times have changed now!! :)

    I did have rakhi brothers in school / college / at work but you know... Nothing that memorable... And my family had/ has lot of issues that I didn't get to know my cousin brothers that well... And of course you know my bil issues..... :p

    Yeah..... Wish you had written about Sisters relationship then I would have had lot more to share.... :)
     
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  5. kaniths

    kaniths IL Hall of Fame

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    @IyerViji .... You missed to mention your dear IL Anna.... Cheeniya Sir!! ;-) :p
     
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  6. Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    Growing up, I thought that Rakhi is sexist, because women folks beg for protection from their brothers. That was not true, but that was what I absorbed from media.
    After many years, I understood the meaning of this festival and get all teary eyed on each Rakhi.
     
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  7. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    @kaniths dear you are right , your feedback brought a smile on my face when you told about my dear Anna, Cheeniya Sir. What to tell about him, I dont remember from whenwe became sister and brother. I joined IL in 2007 and this September I will be completing 8 years in IL. From the time we became brother and sister whenever I log in to IL like to read his ramblings, his feedbacks and when I get a feedback from him feel on the top of the world. I was waiting for the opportunity to meet him and God gave me that opporunity when I had gone for a marriage only for 4 days. Mindian had told me dont worry if you dont get a chance, he will definitely come and meet you and I was so happy when he came with my manni to the marriage hall and we spent sometime. That was a memorable day for me. Whenever I nominate a thread I wait for his reply because his reply is superb. He types his index finger and dont know how he can write a long post or feedback I am blessed to get a brother like him in IL. Thanks Kaniths dear for reminding me about him
     
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  8. parineetha

    parineetha IL Hall of Fame

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    Jskls Hiya, Interesting thought!
    When marriage has all the potential to change the dynamics of all and other relations, I would say it depends on how well one could nurture the relationship and allow the others to reciprocate the nurturing. It’s a two way action.
    For the brother-sister to be the pasamalar types like ever before, the brother has to create a healthy balance between his wife and sister.
    1. As long as the wife gets all the needed attention and love, that she is the most important person in his life, no wife will feel J of his love for his sister.
    2. As long as the brother learns to appreciate the fact that sister is a wife to her man first and her first priority is her husband and children. Respecting the boundary limits.
    The two women in his life (sister and wife) in return has to appreciate his love for each other.
    1. Sister should understand that she’s rather hurting her brother while hurting her babhi.
    2. Wife should release that ‘blood is always thicker’ and can never dilute their blood relationship.

    When I said earlier about allowing the other to reciprocate your love, it happens only when the due space is given(applicable to both bro & sis). Heard too much of anything hurts right. The example of political parties not forming an ally but still choose to provide external support for consolidating their strength is something best I could relate to in such situations. Both bro-sis continue to provide their love and support by not jeopardizing their own primary allies. :biggrin2:
     
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  9. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    wow @parineeta dear well said about relationship
     
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  10. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice write-up. Not overly mushy.
    Some random thoughts:
    - The sibling relationship changes over the decades of adulthood. There are phases of up and down.
    - The role of parents in the early adulthood of children also plays a part. Family dynamics change as each child becomes an adult and flies away.
    - Growing up together creates bonds no other relationship has. But, being expected to behave in a certain way because one is the brother/sister or one is older/younger, can put pressure of expectations.

    All said and done, siblings are special. They know you in a way no one else can - not even parents. No wonder they say, the second (or third) child is for the first one, not for the parents. And it is not for a companion to grow up with, it is for the future.
     
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