Long live,my dear sibling!

jayasala42 · Aug 2, 2015

Long Live! Sibling!

I received a humorous mail a few days back in the following lines.

Reporter:- PM sir; which fruit do you like?

Modi:- Apple

Reporter:- Breaking news---
Modi does not like Mangoes; Banana; etc.

Let’s ask Congress their views on this.

Manish Tewari:- Modi like Apple means Red color.
This means he likes bloodshed
This means he does not want peace and harmony in the country

Ahmed Patel:- This means Modi is only promoting Hindutva.
He does not like green fruits means he is against Muslims.
This clearly shows Modi has no feelings for Muslims.

Nitish Kumar:- This attitude of Modi is what made us split from NDA.

Rahul Gandhi:- Modi never says which chocolate he likes.

Arnab Goswami :
The nation wants to know why Modi likes apple more than other fruits

The Nation has the right to know this.

Sonia Gandhi:- People of India please ask from where
Modi is going to get the money to buy such an expensive fruit.

Geelani:- This is Modi’s tactic to usurp Kashmir.
We will not allow this to happen.

Yechuri:- Selecting an expensive fruit like Apple shows Modi is pro- capitalist. It also means he is pro corporate and wants to promote Apple products indirectly. Why is he not saying about Samsung etc. We want a CBI enquiry.

Kejriwal:- Traditionally Mango is considered the King of Fruits.
Modi is anti tradition. This is against the interest of the aam aadmi.

Foreign Media:- Modi’s communal policies are hurting the secular fabric of India.

Common man - God save this country!.

On reading this I pondered about ourselves. Why the reporter? Every one is gossiping.
Last Sunday hot afternoon.my short nap was disturbed by my friend who
met me after 15 years.After initial exchange of pleasantries she whispered
into my ears”the daughter of our deeply religious friend Raghu Sastri has
married a boy of a different religion”.Her talks revolved around X’s
marriage alliance broken,Y’s suspension from sevice,Z’s parents left in the
orphanage etc etc
.I grinned ‘why should you bother?’

Though many people pretend not to bother about the personal matters in the
life of others,there seems to be an inner urge to know the details.Is there any
silent pleasure to enjoy other’s miseries?Or is their mind brimmed with lakhs
of materials that they want to relieve their tension by passing them on to others?
Do they want to be the centre of a conversation and make their listeners nod to
them attentively?Is it any urgency to get into a group by sharing juicy details
with them?Even our epics Ramayana and Mahabharata are abound in such
gossips.Perhaps we are following Sage Narada and Lord Krishna only in respect
of gossips.

In olden days gossips were limited to social gatherings and temple festivals.
But now a days gossip taps at our door.In the last 20years, media influence
has grown exponentially.Whereas many good things are not viewed by the public,
thousands of images of violence,advertising, etc are exposed to the public through TV and internet.This is a booster to the innate instinct of gossiping.
Becoming addict to mega serial is an indirect expression of finding a secret pleasure in gossiping about the sadistic events, mostly sorrowful.Unfortunately these gossipers include the most intelligent people having a thirst for knowledge.
Gossip has metamorphosed into a new word”CHAT” or’share ideas’and has coolly occupied the centre stage of every home.

Mostly people will pass scandalous remarks on others and add an allonge”I am
saying all these things only in his/her interest.’’otherwise “naalu per naalu vidham pesuvanga’(Four people will talk in 4 ways).Nobody knows who those wonderful four people are and what they will talk.These hypothetic four are the trouble makers.

Gossip normally emanates out of fear,anger and jealousy and causes great hurt and damage to reputation leading to the unfortunate decision of suicide.Gossip is an emotional lethal.It is a phenomenon worthy of serious research.This topic has not been given the due attention it deserves.

The influence of gossip is manifold.Gossip , at its magnificence, during elections may have considerable impact on political parties and can take credit for landslide victory/utter defeat.Gossip in stock market may drown the investors and corporates into a trench;Gossip in exam results may lead a student to take extreme steps.Gossip does not leave religious heads also.Any gossip regarding a boy or girl ruins the entire family.Well known is gossip in film industry.
Lord Rama is stated to have sent Sita in exile after listening to some gossip by a washerman in order to protect his Raja Dharma! What dharma these gossip mongers are going to protect ? How can a temporary gratification of a handful justify such a great havoc in the society?

But gossip has its positive side too.In a closely knit urban communities, sharing of
thoughts through gossip creates an awareness regarding education, health care, banking etc.Gossip helps in team building and cohesiveness.It helps in self assessment and setting parameters for one’s behaviour.

In an environment where communication is very poor and everybody works in an isolated cubicle ,gossip will become inevitableThose small whisperings about merger
or demerger or downsizing,whether right or wrong ,may give the people concerned
an opportunity to polish their resume and keep them mentally prepared for a change.
The boss also has to keep his ears open to the gossip and get a clue regarding the’ behind the scene’ developments.Gossip is considered to be one of the shrewd methods of investigation techniniques in judicial wing.

Gossip is an inseparable part of organizational set up.Words tagged with appreciation and gratitude will help a long way in identifying the thread of talent inherent in the gossip monger and the affected .Once this is set in motion, there is a healthy spark.
Now a days pages and pages of articles have been written on the positive side of gossip, as to how it gives an opportunity to rectify one's mistakes without having a first hand experience of any event,how it mirrors the practical reality, how it gives timely warnings and how it improves the mental make up and so on.

We cannot create a gossip free world.It is an inherent strength/weakness of
the society. As long as there are human beings,gossip is sure to exist In stead of complaining against gossip ,we can live among gossip,can turn the negative gossip into positive ones by creating awareness and confidence among people.Identify gossips as’what to care’ and ‘what to ignore’,guided by common sense.

The word gossip seems to have been derived from God-sib(related to God),modified later.Everything connected with God is so close to us and can never leave us.Isn't it?
Love gossip,live with gossip.

Jayasala 42

jskls · Aug 2, 2015

Madam, Very nicely written article on God-Sib/gossip. Gossips that affects somebody's reputation is more prevalent than healthy gossip that could benefit a group as a whole. These negative gossips also request honesty as an attribute. Instead of talking at someone's back if only gossipers have the courage to confront the concerned truth could be revealed. As you say this world cannot be made gossip free. Just avoid and move on with healthy gossips. But how many of us are willing to share the information that could benefit all. Somehow I am always reminded of 'Crabs in a bucket' story. I could be wrong but only handful would come and share some information that would be helpful to all. Many will not. For example there's a valuable thread on what we need to know about US primary education. It has so much information from many ILs. If this was a topic among few friends this much valuable information will not be poured. Thats the world we live in.

jayasala42 · Aug 2, 2015

Dear Jskls,
Thank you for the nice response.In those days it was stated that mamis were gossiping in the front pyols ( thinnai) of the houses since they were not educated.Even with so much education, gossip continues much more vigorously.In California ,in dance and music classes, so many parents ( Indian ) assemble.While the kids are learning the parents indulge in juicy gossips either about MILs or neighbours.
it has become an inseparable part of human beings.We should know tactics of how to gently move away.

Jayasala 42

satchitananda · Aug 2, 2015

Gossip - an interesting phenomenon, actually. Imagine a world without gossip. I would not term it to be an inherent evil. Gossip can be used to trade interesting bits of information which keep 'one in the loop' so to say. Now it depends on what the goal of trading that information is. If it is just social curiousity, it is still harmless. If it is something that will lead to positive social interactions such as recipient of the information volunteering to help someone in need, it is indeed wonderful. The trouble starts when there is a judgmental attitude and a desire to run down someone's character. The trouble is also when the gossip takes on the nature of 'Chinese whispers' where the truth is often embellished with juicy information which is false.

jayasala42 · Aug 2, 2015

Dear satchitananda,
Normally the word 'gossip'itself is associated with bad mouthing or talking negative things about persons in their back.Sometimes such false rumours result in stalling of marriages or business proposals.however much one knows that the gossip is baseless, he may not like to take risk and proceed.

Jayasala 42

Viswamitra · Aug 3, 2015

Dear Smt. Jayasala:

Very nice presentation. Gossips have been used successfully as a strategy. Even today, most Presidential hopefuls test the water through grape wine to test the water because if they announce the candidature, they are regulated by law and accountable. Even the American army uses gossip as a strategy to misguide the enemy in the battlefield. WW II is very well known for gossips that changed the history. In fact more than campaigning, the gossips work faster in a positive way and spreads faster.

Traditionally, every learned people taught us not to speak ill of others in their absence. This is the only gossip that can hurt the individuals especially when they are rumors not backed by substantial evidence. I used to be a tax advisor for The famous Cinematographer Balu Mahendra and an outstanding actress named Shoba in Mid 1980s. When the rumor spread that they were about to get married, she was devastated. She was only 17 years old at that time. She worshipped him as a mentor and had no such intension. Eventually , they got married but the marriage didn't last long because he had a family of his own. Eventually, she committed suicide as she was not able to find happiness in real life. I spoke to her the morning she committed suicide to ask her and her husband's availability for a meeting. She talked nicely and asked me to meet her at 12 noon. When I showed up for the meeting, the house was filled with all celebrities and when I learned that she committed suicide, I was in tears. That is when I learned that rumors can be devastating and can kill people.

Viswa

jskls · Aug 3, 2015

@Viswa sir it's so devastating to learn what baseless gossip and rumor can do to ones life. Hope people learn that gossip is something that should be avoided at all cost.

jayasala42 · Aug 3, 2015

Dear Viswa,
As you say, many cine stars inclusive of TV artists have ended their lives,thanks to the cruel gossip.When marriages are stopped in the marriage dias, due to some baseless rumours,you can understand the mental agony and financial strain caused to the parents, specially to the bride/groom.
Even after knowing all these things we had to stall a marriage in a last minute as we received information from reliable persons that the boy was already married.The rumour turned out to be true.

It is true that by hearing about the misadventures of others, we may not have to endure costs to ourselves, by making the same mistake. And because negative stories tend to stick better in the mind than positive stories, it makes sense that gossip about people who violated norms would be more instructive than gossip about people who are really great at norms. Sharing a negative opinion of a person with someone is better for bonding with them than sharing a positive opinion..
Rumours about gossip is varied.
This gossip is omnipresent-visible in villages, towns, cities, State capitals and even among the richest nations. Gender, caste,creed and nationality no bar for gossip.

Jayasala 42

Kamalji · Aug 3, 2015

Dear Jaya,

HAHA. Good one. A good forward, where people can twist things as they want .

Now actually with the advent of Facebook, people gossip about themselves.For example a woman who has married say she was Advani , now married to a Mahtani, then seperated from him, now reverts back to Advani on Facebook, so now u know she has left or seperated from her husband .

And even if she is inlove with a boy from another caste, she will disclose on FB, if she goes on holiday, she will put her photos, so u can actaully folow someone;s life , if u are keen that is. i am not that keen, but i cannot avoid it, as on FB these things come to my notice.HAHA

But gossip is good, and it is spicy.What say Jaya ?

Regards

kamal

jayasala42 · Aug 3, 2015

Dear kamalji,
Thanks for the feedback.
You are correct.people are more interested in following what others do than to think about their own chores.Even if you are no longer interested, rumours and gossips tap at your door.ultimately gossip is a part and parcel of everybody's life.

jayasala 42