Real or Fake

Most everybody has a public face and a private face when dealing with others. It might also be a fake persona shown to public and real persona shown to immediate family members. We all do this, I am sure, at varying levels. But when it gets to the extreme, I find it distasteful.


This is about a elderly person I know. He came from a very poor family, with numerous siblings. Being the eldest he worked hard and definitely came up to a very good status. When I met him for the first time I was so impressed with his humbleness and modest nature. He would address everybody with utmost respect.
Then I got to know him better and was surprised to see he would address guys half his age also with extra respect.
I thought coming from such a background, maybe he makes an effort to remember his humble beginnings. But this is just being over modest, when you say "meeru" to your son's friends!
Anyways, many years roll by and I got to know him more and more and was more like a close family member. So I was exposed to the private persona. I was shocked to see that he would abuse each and every person, irrespective of their age, behind their back! He would call people "Sir" while talking to them and as soon as they leave he will say "bloody old fellow" "nagging fellow"!
Same with the younger guys. They also get some choice nick names. That's the thing. Everybody is commented upon and are referred to with some derogatory nicknames behind their backs.



So I was wondering, is it better to fake like people so you get popular and have good connections? Or be yourself and get termed "anti-social and grumpy"?