Teaching moral values to the children

Most parents recognize the need for their children to have right values. The priority and importance for values may vary but everyone attempt to inculcate some values into the children. Each one may have their one way of teaching those values to the children and a few pointers about methods to instill those standards are suggested here.

Be that standard – The children learn from how the parents set a good examples of values they teach them. For example, if parents want children to respect everyone around them, they need to practice those qualities themselves. The children watch how the parents treat the children, differences between what the parents say and do, how they follow through the commitments made, whether the parents lie to someone to take off from work or to not to take a phone call, etc.

Apologize mistakes made - Even if the parents are unable to meet a commitment like taking them to a soccer practice over the weekend, it is better to acknowledge the mistake by stating that they didn’t except overflow of commitments made for the weekend. Most importantly, the parents should apologize to the children for their mistakes. This will make the children understand that the parents respect their thoughts and feelings. This will demonstrate to them how to accept responsibility for the mistakes.

Day to day experiences to be used for teaching – The experiences that happen every day could be a great opportunity to teach the children about moral values. It could be someone else’s action or something the parents and children do together or even something they heard about. If parents observe someone being rude in a public place or the parents themselves lost cool because of someone cutting the lane while driving, they should use that as an opportunity to teach them a lesson about how the particular person would have behaved differently or the parents should have kept calm instead of getting agitated and how such road rage could result in committing an accident.

Read moral stories to the children – It could be from the scriptures that the parents read every day at home along with the children or moral value stories that were bought to tell stories to the children, the parents should read the values aloud and ask questions to the children. The children who arrive at their own conclusions have deep commitments towards such values taught.

Personal experiences – The parents should share situations where they made good and bad choices and repercussions they faced because of the choices they have made. Particularly lessons about when the parents stood up for righteousness rather than being silent, befriending someone who was bullied by most other children and working hard to achieve a particular goal, etc. make the children learn out of it. Similarly, the bad choices also must be shared even if it involves shaming themselves. Particular, the effort of sharing bad choices give the children courage to share their mistakes with the parents.

Accountable for mistakes – Understanding accountability for mistakes is a very important lesson the children should learn from a very young age. It could be as simple as hurting a child while playing or breaking someone else’s asset or even misbehaving with someone. They children should be taught how to be accountable and apologize for the mistake. Wherever possible, the children should pay for the damages to the property through their own effort by doing their own extra work.

Service mind – It is important for the children to learn how to love neighbors and help others. Especially, the children should be made to think to utilize every single opportunity to help voluntarily with no expectations. They should be involved in formal services as soon as possible to not only know how to be compassionate but also learn how they are fortunate to have a life that is pleasant. Appreciate good behavior - It is as important to appreciate the children for something they did remarkably well as much as teaching morals to the children. It not only encourages them to do more to win the appreciation from the parents but also teach them how to be appreciative and grateful when others do remarkable things.

Communication – Communicating with the children regularly is the key for the development of the children. It is important to understand that communication happens through both words and actions. Even a simple act of spending quality time with the children demonstrate the commitment the parents have in the welfare of their own children. Sharing openly and frankly with children about good and bad choices the parents made help them to reciprocate. The parents who restrict the children from watching television or using internet should practice it themselves at home. Even if the parents want them to watch particular programs in the television, they should watch them themselves.

In simple terms, the real life of the children and parents become a curriculum for the children in learning moral values and therefore, how the parents structure them makes an important impact in their children.

 

Dear NellaiMurgan,

Thank you for your first response and appreciation.

Viswa

 

Dear Symala,

Thank you for your wonderful response. The parents practicing the moral stories that they teach to the children is important. For example, if the parents teach the Harishchandra story to the children to educate the importance of truth and then ask the children to tell someone calling over phone to inform that the parents are not at home would completely shatter the understanding of the children. The parents should never conflict verbal communication with their action.

You are absolutely right. Listening to the children is an art. The parents will have to watch their body language, eye contract, etc. while talking to them. It has to be a two way communication and that is why I feel it is important to share information with them so that the children will reciprocate. Most importantly, the children should share their mistakes and take responsibility for that. Open environment encourages them to be brave to share their mistakes and move on by forgiving themselves.

I very much enjoyed reading your response.

Viswa

 

Dear Kamla,

I am truly humbled by your first sentence! What would be more satisfying than receiving such a complement from a mother! I can't explain in words how satisfying it is to hear from you that you would read everyone of my posts!

Don't underplay your strength. Everyone here in IL know your strength. You don't need any lesson plans because you live it. After all like is the only thing that gives us the test before we learn the lessons. If you have such a strong intuition, it means you have lived before and did great things as a parent before.

The fact that you recall such an incident after so many years itself is a great quality. Who don't make mistakes but recognizing and regretting that makes an ordinary human being extraordinary. No doubts your children are very blessed to have a mother like you.

Your response made me blush a little but I have to admit it increased my confidence substantially. I have the greatest respect for both mothers of yesteryear as well as modern mothers for their patience in raising the children adapting to the requirement of time. They have never relinquished nor delegated their responsibilities to anyone despite their preoccupations. That is why mothers are very special.

Viswa

 

Dear Akanksha,

You have humbled me so much by your kind words. I felt like an army officer getting decorated in the presence of the audience. Well, what can I say in response to a wonderful words of a mother other than feeling grateful?

Viswa