Friends and Foes

Poetlatha · Jul 19, 2015

This world is full of people. But not all are your friends. People form their own circles! According
to their tastes,castes,likes,dislikes, and their choices in life. People talk about matching
wavelength, and this is what they mean i guess, belonging with similar interests or as the
proverb goes “Birds with the same feather flock together”. Like the different types of birds, there
are different types of people, and only people who are like minded get along with each other or
sometimes pretend to do so too!
But what about some people who do not restrict themselves to these kinds of notions. They are
people who treat everybody equal! These people truly face a lot of rough situations in a cool
and calm way but there is a saturation point in their life too! Name and fame are not important to
them! Quality is what that matters to them than any other thing! Of course these special people
have feelings and emotions like every other person. But unfortunately the society takes them for
granted and never respects them or even credits them for what they are...! Instead, exploits
them and hurts them as much as possible. Which is really a shame to the human world!
All this happens because people fear that some individual's superiority, might get crushed or
may not be highlighted! The character of a person is the most important thing! Everyone talks
about it but most of them forget to practice due to their selfishness!
There are three types of groups of people namely, the people who boss around with some
superior principles,ideas or tastes; secondly the people who worship these people and enjoy
belonging to that group; thirdly the people who are just their own who really don't classify to any
particular class, creed or kind! (The noble minded people!)
But when we are in a foreign land initially meeting people from the same country is considered
important, later, when there is more population from the same country, people start restricting
themselves and narrow down to their castes, tastes,etc., and start grouping people to the inner
circle , outer circle and so on. This makes others feel like “a fish out of water”. One time friend
becomes a foe here! People develop inner conflict, cold war, and then try searching for soul
mates! Finally find that the people who come under the third category are true friends! But the
ego in the people who were hurt by others starts to dominate thus soiling their reputation!
People are not ready to change but expect others to accommodate accordingly!
A noble minded person, gives important to equality and values other people's interest and
co-operates with them. They are the people who cherish the integrity of the human world !
These people are like the Sun which gives light, life and energy to everyone! But many people
fail to absorb or gain the positive energy that flows around them because they shelter
themselves in the shadows of some false truth which they believe to be true!
The so called noble minded people are free from age, caste, creed, kind, and false principles!
They are straight forward, simple, sweet people! Simplicity, Equality, and Fraternity are the
blood, life and soul of these noble minded people!

Poetlatha

iyerviji · Jul 19, 2015

Latha dear you have narrated so well, whatever was in my mind you have put in writing. Will come back later if something comes to my mind

jayasala42 · Jul 19, 2015

Dear Poet latha,
You have narrated so beautifully day to day happenings .Wherever you go, whether it is rustic village in India or a luxurious city in US, human mind is the same. 90 percent of the people belong to the category of the 'look after my own business'.You can expect nothing but selfishness from them.There are others who pretend to be selfless and service oriented yet see to their own activities under the garb of service.
When we were in a village they used to say, rural people have no other work but to gossip. But I find the same gossiping continues in cities, state capitals and US also.California is just like another Kumbakonam in all respects .While going for a walk I used to meet a Punjabi lady. She used to greet me and start bad mouthing about her DIL and son who just obeys his wife. Day in day out she abused her DIL either about bringing up children, or''roti bhi banaana nahi jaanthe( does not even know how to make a simple chapathi'.MIL-DIL conflict continues overseas also.In the temples mamis would be serving food to those standing in queue simultaneously making comments how the puliyotharai made by her was superb.
People have lot of depressions .They find some satisfaction in nunching juicy topics about others and find a sadistic pleasure in harming others.

The trend is the same whether one isa westerner, Indian, NRI or a local madisar mami.
Groupism, classism etc etc form an inseparable part of the society all through the world and we should be practically wise to move along the wind.
'Be a Roman in Roman'.

'Proximity breeds contempt'
All these proverbs have been coined only to portray the reality.
People who talk ideals cannot live in this world.Not intelligence, but it is 'smartness' that is required to move with the wind without lamentation.

Jayasala 42

anika987 · Jul 19, 2015

Nice thread.

Thing is,after getting hurt a lot,people taking advantage of you,one is afraid to even help.They do not want to fall into the trap again.

I would not always say people are selfish.They have their own reasons for being withdrawn.One feels very insecure to go out of their way and make friends only to end up getting hurt again.

The one whom we think is very selfish could easily be the one who is the most humble,nice,selfless person.of course,one does not know the real reasons for their change.hence we become judgemental.

World is only suited for insensitive,bold people who r willing to take risks again.

periamma · Jul 27, 2015

@Poetlatha well said .Groupism is the fruit of superiority .I just ignore such people and go on smoothly.

jskls · Jul 29, 2015

@PoetLatha, well narrated on Friends and Foes. Its a strange world we live in. There was once a time when I spent my weekends entertaining guests hoping to build a good long term relationship in a foreign country especially for kids and slowly realized the world of "Crabs in a Bucket". For the past 6-7 years now my weekend goes in voluntary service for 2 hours and that is the time we get to meet other friends too. It is more fulfilling than anything else and if we happen to meet like minded people there then it becomes more like a family. No regular meet-ups but when we do it's no different than a family. Its easy to get along with friends whose children are not the same age of ours. other than that I have experienced all you said. If I had enough friends in the outside world I won't be on IL.