love marriage v/s arrange marriage

hi all,

just wanted too know your view, which is better arrange marriage or love marriage.along with your views please do mention in your post whether yours is arrange or love.

to start with let me tell you about mine.Mine is a love marriage, and i really feel love marriage are better.I think in love marriage atleast you know the person for the begining and its quite easy to adjust after marriage....

eagerly waiting for replies

cheers,
Anshul

Anshul,

Mine is love cum arranged marraige.We protested for 6 years and finally we got the approval from our family.

In the love marriage you can know the partner very well.You would understand his/her likings,thinkings everything.So after marriage the if any problem comes you could surely know how your partner will react for this situation.And above all if any misunderstandings come you wont blame your parents or anybody.You only choose this person so this is your job to handle this.

According to me, love marriage gives you more understanding between you people.

hey prana thanks for a quick reply....

mine is almost d same case i mean love cum arrange....in my case the struggle was for 9 years :)

tc
cheers,
Anshul

Hi Anshul,
Here I come again!!!
I believe as long as there is love in the marriage, it will be successful. Of course I agree that in love marriage, we get to know the person well in advance, and so it is easier. But I ve seen a lot of love marriages shattered coz when in love, they only see the best in person and after marriage, only the worst shows up.
As long as there is understanding between the couple, life will be smooth!!! I dont think I can say which is better between both. It depends on each person... And anyway we dont live in times where we dont see the person till the day of marriage!!!

Mine was also a love cum arranged marriage, after 3 years. But there was no struggle. We just waited for the time to be right!!! And here we are, happily married (touch wood)!!!

Cheers,
Asha

hey Asha!

nice to c u here. thanks for posting your reply. Happy to see that yours is also love marriage cool.(in which yr??)
i agree with you that it depends on both the partners how well they manage their relationship whether its arrange or love marriage.
I am just waiting for someone who favours arrange marriage. lets c.

cheers,
Anshul

Hi Anshul,

Here i come...mine is love after marriage.

We feel marriage these days is a gamble. If everything moves smoothly great otherwise either they carry on for don't know whose sake or go their separate ways.

The basic potion for a successful marriage is compatibility, understanding and compromise...which is very much missing today. We see marriages turning sour after the couple knowing each other for years not just by way of love but after having a live-in relationship and then tying the knot.

I also strongly beleive that marriage is a 2 way relationship....both have to respect and adjust to each other. the couple have to meet half way or can be as much as 70-30 or even 90-10 but some initiative has to be there from both it can't be a one person show.

I guess we spoke about this somewhere earlier me thinks....

not going to debate once more

Hi Anshu,

Cant really say both are good or both or bad. Many people have arranged marriages and they are having a good life. What you say is partially right for love marriages. You do understand each other in the case of a love marriage but does the same continue even after the marriage? If you have totally understood each other before the marriage, then there should be no misunderstandings after your marriage. Right? But there are people who end up in divorce in the case of love marriage too. what happened to the understanding they had before? I am not against love marriage and just quoting things for argument sake.

If its love marriage, better to get the permission from the parents of both sides and then get married.

Be it arranged or love marriage there should be understanding between the two.

hi,
mine is arranged marriage.
i think it is better. our parents only can choose the perfect match for us. it is true in my life. yes my hubby is a very good person . and i loving him very much. he is also loving me much more. my vote is for arranged marriages.

I agree to what asha has written. Whether love or arranged if the couple know each other well and can adjust to each other then that marriage will be successful. I am not in the younger generation but still i am replying beco so fthe experience. I am married for 35 years. I did not get a partner of my choice but i changed myself according to my husband's wishes. In many cases we are north and south but still since i adjust everything is going smooth. My husband says ours is love after marriage. Now a days many people are going for love marriage but do not know how many are happy in their marriage. In some caes he has his point of view and wont change i also leave to his choice. No use arguing.