We have some affinity towards 'negativity'

Very often we are advised to be very positive in our approach that will make mentally strong and confident.That is easier said than implemented.

When we start doing a thing, we may pray Lord Ganesa that everything should be completed without hurdles .But in our heart of hearts we are anxious about the impediments and negatives that may stand in the way of management of the task.
Our brain seems to have some affinity towards 'negativity'.Why?

Suppose a man is inside his cave,preparing for a hunt.Some dangerous sounds are heard.He has only two choices.Skip the hunt and be hungry or risk death and go outside.

When you are driving off the highway, somebody cuts you off.You slam your brakes.Your anger is highlighted.This small incident is sufficient to make you terrible the whole day.You may become less productive,distracted and you may spend the day in unnecessary surfing.

This is like taking short term unhappiness and investing it in a long term high yield unhappiness investment plan ensuring even career stagnation.Why does this single experience ruin the entire day, month or years.?Our brains have evolved much more strongly to negative experiences ,to stay away from danger as observed from the dilemma of the caveman.The attitude of caveman who lived amidst fear of death everyday continues even after 3.5 billion years though there is no such fear of death at present.
The brain region of the brain that regulates emotion and motivation has not changed much even after billions of years, say the neuro scientists.The brain region uses about two thirds of its neurons to dectect bad news, probable mishaps etc.

As a result people are more likely to make career and financial decisions based not on achieving something good but on avoiding something bad.Being a good employee is following a list of 'don'ts' and based on avoidance.
Even a small remark for the betterment is taken very seriously.Such people though outwardly say that they welcome criticism are unable to digest the remarks.Very often we see them quoting Thiiruvalluvar
'Theeyinaal sutta pun aarum;aaraadhe
naavinaal sutta vadu"( Even burnt injuries may not hurt as deep as hurtful words)
Even a small event like , not getting a phone call from children, or not getting a 'like' to their mails or the absence of acknowledgement amy affect them a lot.

This negativity bias, which is deep rooted in human beings for millions of years cannot be expected to change notwithstanding srciptures,personality development classes.

There should be persistent efforts for unprejudiced evaluation eliminating fear of hurting anyone or being hurt.
The criticism is always against the process and not the doer.
Develop a mantra that you are smarter than your brain thinks you are.

Very often it is better to engage your brain in something challenging.It is said that the mental resources that were previously devoted to negative bias are pulled away to solve the puzzles and slowly getting drifted to positive side.

This will definitely help in creating positive patterns in the brain.People normally tend to create short term memory of such good things. But they don't have patience to transfer short term memory buffers into long term storage which alone is capable of formulating definite positive patterns and facilitate building new neural pathways.

The negativity bias is very much deep rooted.This is not a pessimist's view but an analysed scientific view.It cannot be achieved by any miracle, by study of Gita,or listening to lectures or acquring some knowledge of philosophy.Had it been that easy as suggested by Yoga teachers, vedantins and philosophers by now the world would have changed into a big zone of confidence.
It is a very slow process and we have to work for it consistently.

Jayasala 42


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Good morning Viji.
I am very happy to see your first F. B. What you have said is 100 % correct.Even if we handle each step with care,we have some inbuilt anxiety.Not to talk of marriages these daysThe saying 'Kalyanam aayiram kaalaththup payir' does not seem to apply today. It is better they stop the marriage. In many cases ,before the festoons fade, conflicts start and invariably end in nullification.That is really sorry state of affairs.
Anxiety is a continous process.The problems perhaps stand in queue .If one is solved,other one automatically stands in place.In fact,the presence of problem is a bliss. Other wise out mind would be full of imagined worries about miseries that may never happen at all.
with love,

jayasala 42

 

Dear Satchitananda,

Neurologists suggest many ways.
Tell yourself that there is no danger.
The patient has to say to himself that he is recovering fast. I am alright.
But to have a definite positive thought they say, a pattern should be formed.Pattern can be formed only on intensive practice and not superficial repetition like a mantra.It is an evolutionary process.With all the scientific developments ,they say that even now two thirds of the neurons are pro negative.

There is a proverb in Tamil "Aadik kaaththile ammi kooda nagarum) Even a Grinding stone can move in the monsoon wind of Adi month.That is to say our efforts are to be so powerful to make the dormant fearing neurons pro positive.
That is why so much of importance is given to remove negative thoughts.

Actually speaking there is no way to rease negative thoughts. As more and more positive thoughts get flooded, negative thoughts automatically vanish.

In many schools some teachers draw a wrong mathe matical diagram or mis spell a complicated word on the board ,then put a cross on the above wrong expressions and write the correct ones.This is stated to be a totally wrong procedure.Somehow wrong diagram and wrong spelling get registered in students' minds.
'Don't do such and such a thing'in itself is a wrong direction. Our instructions should mostly contain 'Dos ' alone.

Negativity has its own positivity in the fact that it facilitates extra care at every step and rash decisions are avoided but it results in procrastination and one loses the timegain.
We have got so many subhashanas and lessons like'satyam vadha, dharmam chara etc etc.With all the lessons implanted now the society should have been an ideal one.Evidently it is not.Human beings alone cannot be blamed. Nature's evolutionary process is so so slow that we have not yet come out of'cave hunter' mentality though we never see a tiger in the near vicinity.
The snippet is not intended to create a negative impression that the change is never possibly, but to reveal the reality that it needs extra efforts to form a positive change.

Jayasala 42

 

Dear Akanksha,
When we assess ourselves we can realise how we are shrouded in the mystery of fear, worry and anxiety -parallelly running along with confidence, faith etc etc.
That is human nature.When a calamity attacks a person ,he becomes totaaly immersed in grief, though he is a scholar giving great lessons on philosophy.
' How confident a person is?'can be judged when he is in real problems.

Jayasala 42

 

Dear Girvani,
almost everyone of us are swimming against tides, losing faith sometimes, gaining confidence by our own consolations.It is learning process.

Jayasala 42