Musings Part 2- Swiss Toilets Advisory

Musings Part 2- Swiss Toilets Advisory
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From the TImes of india - today - 6.7.15 Monday

Swiss Railway Posts 'How-To' Toilet Signs for Asian Tourists

London: Fed up with having to clean up messes in the public toilets, a Swiss railway company has come up with a series of graphic illustrations for visitors from Asia and the Middle East to instruct them how to sit on a toilet seat.

Some instructions include - Sit on the toilet seat, dont squat, as they say, indian ishytyle. put toilet paper in toilet , not in dustbin. And dont defecate while having a shower !
Do people do that , i am not aware of it eh !

Well i guess if there are grooming schools in india, there must be toilet schools in india too. No jokes, read on. At a survey of toilets at mumbai Airport, the toilets were found to be the worst among all toilets at airports across india.Culprits? - the policemen on duty, so it seems they were taught how to pee and poo. Can u imagine telling someone, listen, shift yr backside this way, or the **** will go haywire etc ?

As children we learn fast from parents. That is to for boys, to lift the toilet seat, and then stand and pee. But for people who use the fields, well what to say ! So along with all other tests for getting a job, there must be this one test, where the canditate must show he uses the toilet for No 1 and No 2 jobs, and he has to pass in that Pee exam. HAHA.

Well i my office here , we have decent toilets, but these kind of staff, the ladies pee on the floor of the toilet, and dont use the kamot. Nor do they put water over it. the bathroom stinks, soem of the staff take objections for they have proper bathrooms at home, so the fights carry on between them. Even the sweepress whoc omes shotus at me every day, to tell the ladies to pee properly, but it is such a sensitive matter, i have told bhabhi, whose office it is, now u tell the ladies and take care of this area, leave me out of this.

And modi says have toilet in each home, does he want the villages and cities to stink ? Who will teach them , and where is the water supply for the toilets ?



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Rats and Cats in 10 Downing Street

There was a meeting going on in 10 Downing Street , when a rat ran across the room where a high level meeting was taking place. It seems they have a cat employed , called Larry, who is the chief " Mouser" (first time have heard this name), did not notice the rat, and two ministers had to run after the rat, which was ultimately caught in a paper bag.

Since Larry the Mouser failed in his duty , first to spot the rat, and secondly to catch the offender, his job is at stake now, in the next reshuffle. i was wondering how the salary of Larry is paid, does he or she know how to use the ATM, does larry get veg or nonveg lunch and dinner , how many days off per week and so on.

Maybe , the UK Prime minister is not realizing, that this rat could be an american Spy, as it is America has spied on all countries, and this rat could be having a camera in one eye, a microphone in his tummy, and a anti cat spray in his bums, which confuses the smelling sense of Larry. Can they investigate my claims, with A,erica u can never be sure.

HAHA

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Houston - USA

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Judge and Criminal old school friends - A Filmy Story

US judge recognises old school friend in dock - BBC News

A lady Judge, Mindi Glazer, recognized the criminal in front of her, it seems they were meeting after decades, and were good friends in school. like a Hindi film story, which might be made very soon, for this is one touching story, one turned to be a judge and one to be a criminal.

Hearing the lady judge, the criminal cries a lot, and the judge penalizes him for some 44000 dollors for the crime, and tells him that she hopes he reforms.

please see the video, and say taht it does not bring a tear to your eye, as it did to mine. School friends, who becomes who eh !

Just look at this from a kindergarden teachers viewpoint. She has toddlers in class, some who have to be cleaned of their toilet mess by the Bai, or the maid employed by the school. As they leave school, many decades later, who knows , some become IAS officers, some politicians, industralists, and well some criminals, for they too study in schools.

And the teacher knows , she will remain a teacher all her life, but these toddlers will zoom on in life, well ahead of her, and barring one or two , rest will all forget that she ever existed.

Ironical, but that is the way of the world, friends.

Have a great week ladies and gentlemen, i hope u have enjoyed this edition of mine. it gives me great pleasure to make u all smile, which gives me great satisfaction.

Take care.

KAMAL MAHTANI


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There were three ships which were nearby when the Titanic sunk.

One of them was known as the Sampson. It was 7 miles away from the Titanic and they saw the white flares signaling danger, but because the crew had been hunting seals illegally and didn’t want to be caught, they turned and went the opposite direction away from the Titanic.

This ship represents us and people like us if we are so busy looking inward at our own sin and lives that we can’t recognize when someone else... is in need.

The next ship was the Californian. This ship was only 14 miles away from the Titanic, but they were surrounded by ice fields and the captain looked out and saw the white flares, but because the conditions weren’t favorable and it was dark, he decided to go back to bed and wait until morning. The crew tried to convince themselves that nothing was happening.

This ship represents those of us who say I can’t do anything now. The conditions aren’t right for it and so we wait until conditions are perfect before going out.

The last ship was the Carpathia. This ship was actually headed in a southern direction 58 miles away from the Titanic when they heard the distress cries over the radio. The captain of this ship knelt down, prayed to God for direction and then turned the ship around and went full steam ahead through the ice fields.

This was the ship that saved the 705 survivors of the Titanic.

When the captain looked back at the ice fields they had come through, he said Someone else hands must have been at the helm of this ship!

This ship represents those who would pray to God for direction and then go without hesitation.

+++
Weight loss:


Fat man saw an ad in a newspaper

"lose 5kg in a week"

He calls the company & lady says

" be ready tomorrow at 6am."

The next morning he opens the door
&
finds a beautiful girl with shoes & shirt saying ,

"u catch me u kiss me!"

& the girl starts running...

He starts running but doesn't catch her.

During the whole week he tried to catch her but

couldn't. However he loses 5 kg.

He then asks for the 10kg program.

Next morning at 6 am he opens the door
&
sees an even more beautiful girl in shoes & a shirt saying

"u catch me , u kiss me".

He loses 10 kg that week.

So he thought this program is awesome!

Lets try the 25 kg!

So he asked for the 25 kg
but the lady said "R u sure? its really tough !!!! ".

he said "YES!"

Next day at 6 am he opens the door,
he finds a Negro gay saying


.
.
.

"If I catch u, I will kiss u..!"



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An Indian living in the USA posted this: "When I came to America, homosexuality was a crime.

Later it became acceptable.

Now it's legal.

I better leave America before it becomes compulsory."

If "CHEMISTRY" students start making films,

the names would like:


* Tera acid mera base.,

* Rang de Benzene

* Hamara beaker apke pas hai

* Life in a Hetero

* Laga apron me daag

* 3 test tubes

* Ajab Estimation ka gajab result

* Munna bhai HCL

* My name is ester

* Mr. Ketone

* Jab we experiment . . . !

 

Dear Aruna,

i have to be current inmy writings, otherwise the news becomes stale, no ? Welcome to my blogs after a long long time.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Aks,

if u call me Halwai, u will get diabeties. HAHA

REmeber that joke about a chap going to a shop and saying, give me 1 kg of this and that, grind it, mix it, and then sayign, now give me 100 gms of the mixture ?

Halwai reminded me of this old one.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Satchi,

There are certian sectors, that pilots fear being put into on duty, for there , small kids do pee in the aisle, and the airhostess is supposed to clean it up. and toilets floating in urine. i wont name the sector, and the plane is kept a day or two scented to remove the dirty smell.

What use the toilets that modi is saying, he must open toilet using schools, first, arrange for pipes to take out the waste, have water for the toilets, so many things to arrange for, and also electicity, what if someone goes to toilet and there are no lights , how is the chap going to do the job.

most people dont know satchi how to use toilets, check yr maids too, even they are unaware.Tell them to use yr toilet once.

Regards

kamal