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The secret to a successful relationship!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by meenasankaran, Jul 4, 2015.

  1. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    I goof up a lot. Big and small, I make them all. Enough to know not to judge anyone harshly. And I do own up to my mistakes…eventually! My goof ups can be broadly categorized in to two kinds – one is the common, run-of-the-mill, meenasankaran variety while the other is the spooky, unnatural kind. I own up to the first one and blame the second on the powers above.


    Last night, I was caught yet again in the middle of a Physics Jeopardy camouflaged as a family discussion. The relativity of time and space was the hot topic of the night as we had just come back from watching the movie Terminator 5. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s creepy full-toothed smile at the end of the movie was too funny but did anyone want to talk about it? No! It was all “Time is not constant,” “Traveling near the speed of light can warp time and space,” and some such nonsense. It was a trying time for me as usual. Pretending to be intelligent for a whole half hour is no easy task and honestly, I was getting tired of it. I decided that I was going to have my share of the conversation and racked my brains looking for an interesting scientific topic.


    Hah! Yes, I got it. Excited, I stood up and blurted, “I know what plants require to stay alive”. There was a general look of confusion in the room. Happy to have everyone’s attention at last, I declared with a beaming smile that all plants needed sunlight, water and chloroform to survive. When roaring laughter erupted around me, it was my turn to look confused. It was when my daughter asked me ‘Are you planning to kidnap a plant Amma?’ that I realized that I had mixed up chlorophyll and chloroform. Oops! Still, I thought it was an overkill trying to literally roll on the floor like that. Anyway, after a bit of well-deserved sulking, I had to admit that I had goofed up once again.


    Now, coming to the other kind, I react very strangely to the news of an impending birth of a baby in a family. Naturally, I am happy for the parents-to-be and wish them both tons of fun changing diapers in the wee hours of the night. After putting the goodwill aside though, the news of a pregnancy causes very abnormal gastrointestinal problems for me.


    For example, say you are pregnant and you share the happy news with me. After hurriedly offering you the customary congratulations and wishes, I’ll rush home and immediately start my regime of medications. When you start your pre-natal vitamins, I will break open a bottle of Tums. When you pop a folic acid supplement, I will pop a calcium one. Why? Because at the end of your first trimester, I generally have full blown heartburn; at the end of your second trimester, my heartburn will move up the ladder to acid reflux and when you are ready to push that baby out on that hospital table, I will almost positively graduate to an Ulcer. I have concluded this to be the result of acute stress – the pressure of making it to see a baby within a few days of its birth.


    You see, historically speaking, I have never been known to visit a baby in its baby state. Usually the baby grows up and walks on its two legs and comes over to meet me. This is not for lack of trying on my part, I will have you know. I go to the store well ahead of the birth and buy cute little baby gifts and have them ready in gift bags. Then I wait for the call. It is nerve-wrecking, I tell you. After I had successfully chewed off all my nails, the call usually comes announcing the baby’s birth. This is the make-it or break-it moment. The moment that could change my soiled record of never making it in time to see a baby as a baby. But then, it all begins.


    My car falls apart on me; a ligament around my knee tears like a soggy papad; my shoulder hangs out of the socket; I start talking funny delirious with fever; an allergy specialist declares that I am allergic to the world around me and orders me to live in a sterile bubble. After I win the war with all these elements one by one and at last pick up those gift bags in exhaustion, my dogs start throwing up. Just about this time, I tend to give up and halt all attempts to try and go see the baby. There is a greater power at work here and who am I to question it? Now the wait begins for the baby to grow up and pay me a visit. When they do come around to finally seeing me, I make it a point to pull out their pending gifts and show them the little baby boots, the plush blanket and the tiny little newborn dress that I had bought for them. Children are much more forgiving than the parents, I tell you.


    Luckily I have borrowed an ingenious method from a cousin of mine that very effectively deflates the anger of those annoyed parents. For that matter, this works like a charm on anyone. Every time I see a hostile person, I offer them a profuse apology. I am never stingy with my apologies, you see. I simply walk up to them with a sheepish smile and say ‘I am soooooo sorry’. Just like that. Sometimes they are confused because at that point in time, I had not committed my mistakes yet. In confusion, when they ask for a reason, I tell them ‘Just put it in my account and keep track of it. I am sure you will need it at some point.’

    [​IMG]

    I believe strongly that this is the solution for all relationship problems. All one has to do is walk around saying sorry randomly and remind folks to put it in their account. They can pull one up and use it the next time you goof up. In my humble opinion, one can never apologize too much. We never know when we will need them, do we?

    On that note, I want to say how very sorry I am. If I haven't offended you already, I do hope that you will credit this to my account for future use to be used against any mistake I have yet to make. Because I do believe that a willingness to bow and concede to the opponent is the key to any and all successful relationships!

    Here is another one (just in case) to cement our relationship! Very SORRY! I am feeling very relieved now. I think I have enough apologies lying around in my account to cover a couple of hundred mistakes. Whew!
     
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  2. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Meena,

    Now after reading your snippet I can clearly differentiate between the Meena and the power from above goof ups! While your goof ups are hilarious, I cannot help but feel but but Meena why do we have the postal service. Especially when they could use business for them to be up and running. I am not preaching anything I don't practice - it is my habit to first mail and then offer to visit them. And Meena if I have offended you with my suggestion, please here is my so so so sorry :biggrin2: One thing I can tell you though if your dogs decide to fall ill, it is only because they know that they have to share your affection with a baby and that car if you are anything like me, the car can feel too - yes yes the same sharing feelings and choose to break down. Meena really people like you and me must and should use the USPS. What say?
     
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  3. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Meena,

    You are not only too much, but three much and infinite much.You made me spill my tea on my spotless kurta and now u hae to pay the damages.HAHA

    Apologizing in advance, not being able to visit babies when they are babies, but grown ups eh ! and best is, u can gift the baby things to the gron up babies babies, that is when they marry, tell them, for yr future kids in advance, for these were for u, but since i could not give u, i am giving ur babies, and dont worry, fashions havnt changed over the years, for babies are not able to tell , about fashion and time.

    HAHA/

    You are a laugh riot Meena.

    Regards

    kamal
     
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  4. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Hahaha Meena. Now that is a wonderful idea. BTW, do you also get an interest rate in terms of 'sorries' when you say it in advance? I mean, can you make 10 mistakes for say 7 or 8 sorries? Was in splits reading your snippet and then I suddenly said 'sorry' to the BH and he asked for what. I gave him your Spiel. He was sitting at his computer and got up and came to take a look at me! I got him really worried, methinks! :rotfl
     
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  5. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sabitha,

    First things first. I am happy to tell you that your account is off to a glorious start with one solid credit of 'sorry'. Yay! I am so happy Sabitha.:clap Looks like you and I are blessed with a confrontation-free friendship....at least for a while. :wink: Also, I would take your suggestion up in a heartbeat and mail the baby gifts first (in the process boosting the sagging USPS too) except the said babies are all in a half a mile radius of my home. :bonkHow much help can I give the USPS licking stamps worth $$0.98? :biggrin2:
     
  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Meena,

    Who doesn't? It is a birth right for all of us and no one can take away that right from us.

    You are not guilty as charged as all evidences are circumstantial. Who can stand the discussion on time and relativity for a whole half hour? You should have explained that goof up based on "cause and effect" theory. This time blame should go to the people who are responsible for discussing the time and relativity. Even I need a chloroform to survive after that discussion leave alone the plants.

    That is why I always buy Toys r us gift cards for babies that can be used by them from infant stage to until they grow above the age of playing with the toys. If you have the habit of meeting babies after their toy stage, you may consider "Barnes & Nobles" gift cards.

    I like your idea of advance booking the pardon from the friends and family. In a day and age when we find it hard to get a sorry from the younger generation, it is a great consolation to know that people do exist who are willing to advance book the pardon.
    Thanks for sharing this information in advance. At least I know now, if I ever get a sorry note in the mail from Meena, I know it is for something that is upcoming. :)

    Viswa
     
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  7. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    Funny write-up Meena ... Enjoyed it. Saying sorry in advance saves relationships but not for long....Are we related Meena? The sorry part and goofing up part is inborn for me ... these days it's even simple order any online gift card and just email ... Can save on USPS stamps.
     
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  8. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Haai haai Meena! I see your conundrum. Well I tried and in the spirit of the solid credit I have received from you, here's another sorry for not thinking through :)

    On a serious note, I do agree with you. Many a time saying I am sorry has helped me in many a relationship and in the even that the relationship has not worked out, I have felt at peace that I did try my best. You have a point there. Thank you (and I hope that brings in some credit too :biggrin2:) for that solid message in the humorous post between the car repair, dogs throwing up, the universe planning etc.

    PS: I did mean to write all this in the first post but holiday time is not the best to give a FB. lesson learnt :biggrin2:
     
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  9. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Meena,

    Another good-to-read write-up. I find myself terming your writing style tongue-in-check. :)

    I have my share of late to visit and late to call friends. We always call each other later.. and it is actually nice to give or receive wishes a few days after the event/milestone. Can talk more rather than 'hey I am getting another call'
     
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  10. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Fortunately or unfortunately, myself and husband have taken after our grand parents. My father used to keep a bunch of post cards( only5paisa) on those days.As soon as receives a letter he would send the reply immediately. If he is unable to send a concrete replay, he sent an interim reply followed by a regular reply as early as possible.We don't have opportunities of making out fake excuses.
    Now a days, the snippets or forum posts have taken the place and sometimes it is very difficult to respond immediately, though we wish to do, when the discussion is of serious nature.
    Now the SMS and whatsapp messages are too brief and sometimes convey nothing.
    Whereas my son and daughter rarely write, my DIL and SIL respond immediately within minutes.
    In a changing world we see people of different kinds. LOKO BHINNA RUCHI:

    Jayasala 42
     
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