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The Rip Off

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Jul 2, 2015.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    The Rip Off



    A Friend of mine, his daughter is getting married. The boy is from Delhi. Yesterday we met at the club and i asked him how are the preparations going for the wedding this month.




    He said all is fine, and they are thru with most of the things, but as is usual, a little bit of this and that is left over. i asked him if he would like to keep a cook with helpers during the wedding, he jumped at it. The cook charges1500 ,per day, and the two helpers charge 500 each, one to cut the veggies and the other to serve and clean the dishes.they can feed around 50 guests at a time, right from early morning tea to midnight.



    The second helper saves u a lot in disposable plates and glasses, they too cost a bomb, and these guys also need a quarter of whiskey at midnight, when they are thru with the work. He jumped at the offer, and i got him this team .



    He was saying something strange. His daughter wanted to shop for her outfits and trouseau from Delhi which has the top of the line designers. She was surfing the net and seeing the creations of the designers, and saved the pics of garments that she liked. Then a friend suggested to them to try out one of Jaipur's well known stores, before they went to Delhi for shopping.



    Well , wonder of wonders, all that the girl had downloaded, was available there, for a fraction of the orignal price, in fact a third of the price.And the best part is , this jaipur shopkeeper also keeps triple the margin, but manages to give the same qualtiy and embroideries as the top designers. And he openly proclaims, said my friend that he does rip offs, and he told this fellow, that tell yr daughter to go bring a photo of any designer, and he will rip it off.


    in fact one of the brothers of this shop keeper, travels all over india, buying at exhorbitant rates the orignals, to replica at least a 100 each , of each, a real rip off.i think in some things, indians out beat China eh !




    So this girl forgot all about Delhi , and went and shopped out here itself, and the dad is happy, the girls is happy and so is the shopkeeper. He showed her the original garment, with the Bill, and the rip off that he made for ehr, weighted the garments, and it seems there was no difference, barring the price which was a thrid of the orignal.



    if Bill Gates was an indian, i am sure, he would not have become very rich, for there is no copyright here. lucky he was born in America. Here he would have been reduced to selling windows for homes and not computers. !!!



    Well that reminds me, of my business of garments which too is somewhat like this. Top exporters of Jaipur, whose exports go beyond 25 croes and more, they hire foreign designers who come for months, design for them, and the pcs are just beautiful.These people make name and money.


    Well when i started exports, all i was interested then was inmaking money. Name i was not interested then, neither now. i just need money for my small joys and comforts. Well i never had anything new to offer to my clients, i used to tell them, listen guys, u give me the sample, andi will mass produce in thousands for u at a fraction of the price that the big exporter gives u.



    For the production cost of say 2 dollors, these top exporters would sell for 7 to 8 dollors , and we would sell for 3 dollors, and still be happy, the buyer happy for he was saving a lot of money buying from us, the quality as good if not better than those guys.





    And that is what we did, we gave excellent quality, at low rates, and we minted money, not at the expense of the buyer, but the government of india was giving out like 20 percent incentives, on the selling price, plus our margines, and then all this was income tax free, so it was like our all fingers were in Ghee, as they say.


    We did not have much overheads, bcs we did not have designers, nor travel, nor sampling, just plain production and that was that. And i dont regret ripping off styles. And we made our own improvisations in them, adding a pocket here and there at no extra cost. fellow exporters used to laugh at us, when they saw our sample room filled with very ordinary styles, but ultimately i laughed my way to the Bank.



    Today most of the old timers of my time, are in a bad financial state, bunglows sold off, for they wnet on an expansion spree, heavy overheads, secretaries, and the associated bad habits, and wanting to be in the limelight all the time. i stayed away form all elections of our industry, minding my own business, and money.



    Well , i let Shah Jehan make Taj Mahal, i sell multiples of those , and live in my little hut with my Mumtaz Begum, that is my dear wife. So may the designers multiply, it is good for the health of the shopkeeper, for now he has more designers to rip off.



    I dont care for the right or wrong stuff, paisa hai bhagwan for me, honestly earned( i did not put a gun to the head of the the importer, he came to me instead), he made good money and so did i. i blame the lord for not giving my a intelligent brain, but an ordinary brain of a Sindhi, but no complaints, i made an omlette from the mashed eggs.



    HAHA


    KAMAL MAHTANI

    =====================================================================================================


    5 years old son,
    After watching a story of an Emperor on TV:

    "Mum, I also want 7 wives, one will cook for me, one will read for me, one will go for walk with me, one will sing for me,one can bath me,...."

    Mum smiled and said:
    "Then night time I don't have to accompany you to sleep!"
    After some thought, son said:
    "Not possible, I still want to sleep with you mummy!"


    "Then who will sleep with your 7 wives?"
    "Let them sleep with daddy!"


    Dads eyes fill up with tears of happiness:
    "My sweet son!

    ==================================================================================================


    Conveying is an art...

    Wife : I have a good news and a bad news

    Husband : I am very busy ... Just give me good news

    Wife : the airbags worked properly in our new Audi


    ==================================================================================================



    New medical update :

    Blood group of Rajasthanis ...

    Ghee positive !

    ==============================================================================================


    I have cancelled my London trip
    for very simple reason.
    Suppose tomorrow Lalit Modi tweets,
    ' I met Kamal Mahtani '
    so I don't want any
    unnecessary issues...!


    ==============================================================================================


    Angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said:


    'I have to talk to you. We have some Indians here in Heaven and they are causing problems.They're swinging on the pearly Gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing D&G gowns instead of their white robes, they are driving Mercedes and BMW’s instead of the chariots, and they're selling off their halos at discounted prices''.


    They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear or clean, since they keep crouching down midway eating samosas & drinking chai. Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!


    They do not believe in discipline and push their way through the line.'


    The Lord said, 'Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children.


    If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call.'


    Gabriel calls Satan on the phone…

    Satan answers the phone: 'Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.'

    Satan returns to the phone, 'OK I'm back. What can I do for you?'

    Gabriel: 'I just wanted to know what kind of problems you're having down there.

    'Satan says: 'Hold on again. I need to check on something.

    'After about 2 minutes, Satan returns to the phone andl says: 'I'm back. Now what was the question?'

    Gabriel repeats the question: 'What kind of problems are you having down there?'

    Satan says: 'Man I don't believe this... Hold on.' This time Satan was gone at least 5 minutes.


    He returns and says: "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now.
    These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and are trying to make Hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire, which is there to keep them uncomfortably hot !!

    And since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone & Internet connection between Heaven & Hell, between ME & GOD !!

    They have started a social network service for the troubled, and believe in Karma, and are good in convincing others.

    Some were trying to start a chai pakora, chole-batura, dosa & samosa, barfi, chakli and dhokla shop, which I had to stop.


    Many have no trouble living in dirt as they are so used to it down on earth.


    We have a shortage of toilets to make them uncomfortable, but they have no problems in doing everything outside in the open.


    They are excellent in corrupting everyone, and my staff is being bribed by them.

    I am having difficulty in controlling the graft and corruption in Hell.

    They never complain as this place seems to be better than from where they came.

    I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them.

    I am therefore requesting, "O GOD, PLEASE send them back to earth as soon as they arrive - for re-birth."


    So now you know – "why Indians are the only ones that are re-born".
     
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  2. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Hats off to you Kamal Bro, your sincerity and hard work only helped you to grow and God was with you because you are a nic eperson
     
  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamalji,

    There is a saying, "Don't fix it if it is not broken". Your business model worked for many years and it continues to work even today. Why should you try and change it? I am glad you are sticking to your traditional model. In the process of addressing big mall market, many fall into the trap of increasing their cost and in fact, the big retail outlets are the ones that rip off the exporters. You are a smart businessman to see through this. Long term relationships with the importers work wonders.

    I couldn't control my laughter when you said that Bill Gates would be selling windows for the houses if he was born in India. I thought IPR in India is getting better now and it is China which has a major huddle to cross.

    Viswa
     
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viji sis,

    thank u so much for yr good wishes.Thank u.

    Regards

    kamal

     
  5. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Vishwa,

    Bill would have been selling gates also of buildings.HAHA

    Here too a lot of stuff is copied, see ultimately there are people who will buy a garment for a few lakhs, and some will buy a copy for 50,000, and some for whom 5000 is fine, so there is a market is there for all sorts of budjets, and this chap gives u good stuff at reasonable rates, i see nothing wrong in it. Maybe bcs i too was into all this.

    We worked on low overheads, and i had more people working on contract than on salary, so what we paid the contractors was added to cost of the garment, so when we had no work, the salaries were very low, just the basic staff.Rest came in when work came.

    lean and mean organization, and government subsidies and free tax regime of the nineties, fattened all exporters, but many squandered away, by expanding and having no control, the managers made hay.

    Regards

    kamal

     
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  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear BC,

    i guess we all have to survive and find our own modes of survivial, i found this to be very convienient, not to use my head at all, just supply to the middle class at reasonable rates. i never bothered about making classy stuff and making a name for myself, i just wanted to make money, honest money.

    HAHA

    Thanks.

    kamal

     
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  7. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji, most designefrs invest very little and sell their designs at a sky high rates. .A friend of my daughter recently got married and at reception she wore a Sabyasachi gown costing over Rs one lakh. I am sure she wouldn't wear it again in her life. I am also sure that the designer wouldn't have invested more than a couple of thousand rupees in the dress. I thought Delhi guys were champions in ripping off designs. You see any design on the internet, small shops in areas like Ajmal Khan Road will sell you the exact copies for a fraction of the price.i
     
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  8. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji

    a lakh these days with these designers is peanuts they first ask u the budget and even at 2 lakhs a dress, they treat u with scorn, has happened with a lot of people i know. they thinj the buyer is a beggar.

    Yes teh cost is a fraction, i know for i am rather was in this , and these days we [put the bar codes and prices on the garments we exports, for something tht we export for 4 dollors for example, is selling in stores for 25 dollors, not that it bothers us, we get enough for ourselves, but this is the kind of things that happen, and this is middle class stuff, just imagine the designer stuff and the margins eh !


     
  9. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji, I'd any day buy stuff at a fraction of the cost. Why should I part with hard earned money? I have a lot of use for whatever is saved. Even if the stuff is not exactly high quality but decent enough, it's fine. I'd rather buy something new within say a year or two instead of having 'high quality' stuff which would never tear or wear or fade - then I'd have no excuse to buy anything new! :p

    Loved the jokes.
     

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