Parents ditched by their own dds and dss

dear all,

i would like to share some sensitive issue which is increasing in the recent days.

Recent past one of our neighbours started bride search for their beloved son. The son also gave a big nod to his parents to proceed further.After a wide search, they selected a good bride for their son and the whole arrangements started from the bride seeing ceremony with all the relatives being present.The boy looked(pretended to be
) very happy and actively took part in all arrangements and spoke to the girl once a week.Everything was going fine and they finalised the engagement date also and they planned to make it a very grand function for their only son and they invited everyone for the function not leaving even a distant friend.THe groom's mother was very happy and she bought lots of jewels to her future dil and inturn the bride's family also bought bracelet,chains, costly shirts etc...to their future sil.

The engagement function was fast approaching and all the relatives even from distant areas booked the tickets, and There was total கல்யாண களை in their house.

Just 2 days before the function,THe boy left the house without even informing his parents.The reason was that he had some love affair with a girl who is from diff caste.

Parents were very much upset. they could not face any one and the mom fell sick and yet to recover from the shock.The boy gave a very good gift to his parents who always think about his welfare alone.

Because of his cowardly act, the bride's dreams also got shattered.
If he had informed his parents well in advance, these embarassments would have been avoided.
I am not against love marriages and infact i always talk in favour of love marriages.

But they don't have right to ditch their parents who sacrifice their entire life for the children.there is a saying in tamil
" பெத்த மனசு பித்து, பிள்ளை மனசு கல்லு".

Dear ils , do you all think, the cowardly act of the boy is right?

Dear Kamala,
What the boy did was in no way fair to the family and the girl was punished for no fault of hers. He should have informed the prents earlier or someone in the family.It makes the parents withdraw form sciety in shame. There will be sumone who will remind them of it always. My symptahy lies with his parents and the girl.
Uncouth behaviour is all I can say.

hi Kamala...

nice post but we definitely need the correct readers who really need to read this....this is one of major reason why many parents are not much into bride seeking many have left on their sons you decide in own caste and we will approve it.. But this boy is really an out of mind person he have this much courage to leave the house why can't he say this to his parents??????? Many boys are like this, one day they have to face society and parents how long they can run away.......... but what you have put up here is really true many parents don't know what their son is doing... So, i think parents need to be flexible and very friendly to their grown up children so that they can put their own views and they must discuss pros and cons of everything. This will definitely avoid such situations. I know one family from noida they are business class. They have three sons and except elder other two have married in other caste and they all live happily along with their parents and that person himself given his daughter to other caste boy, as he observed that boy for few years and liked him too much in spite of their financial condition and caste.... I really feel they are lucky that their children are married and they all live for each other..a really happy family...when they all come to noida it seems to be festival everyday....

Dear kamla...

Ya... this is a soundful issue not only in films but also seen practically.... nowadys.... As far as i think.... as well as the boy/girl or their parents take the responsiblity....
Coming to my first point.... the boy/girl should have much more courage to express his/her affair to their parents..and they must try their best to convince them... without creating such traitful situations for their parents...otherwise DONT GET INTO AFFAIRS........

The second regarding the parents... they should keep en eye always on the activites of their children... . and be more friendlier with them.. in such a way they are able to share everything with them...

Hope these things may prevent these kind of issues..

Love
brindha

Dear Kamala
This is really not good that has happened to the parents but I feel the parents too should ask the son once in case if he is in love with someone right............
I am a non tamilian can you please put the meaning of this.......கல்யாண களை
and this............" பெத்த மனசு பித்து, பிள்ளை மனசு கல்லு".

dear Janani,

Even i had the same feelings.Unnecessarily the girl is punished.Even if gets someother groom, she has to face so many questions on why the previous one got cancelled.Poor girl.God only has to bless her with good married life.

Originally Posted by Jananikrithsan

Dear Kamala,
What the boy did was in no way fair to the family and the girl was punished for no fault of hers. He should have informed the prents earlier or someone in the family.It makes the parents withdraw form sciety in shame. There will be sumone who will remind them of it always. My symptahy lies with his parents and the girl.
Uncouth behaviour is all I can say.

Dear padma,

Here 90% of us are married. So very difficult to get the correct readers. But this is a warning bell to all parents.in that way we all really need to read this.

As you said nowadays, things are changing and most of the parents accept love marriages irrespective of whether it is within the caste.When they have the courage to select a partner for them, why not they tell their parents well in advance so that atleast they don't spoil the other girl/boy 's life.

Those poor parents will only pray for them even if their sons or dds ditch them.

Originally Posted by padmatvt

hi Kamala...

nice post but we definitely need the correct readers who really need to read this....this is one of major reason why many parents are not much into bride seeking many have left on their sons you decide in own caste and we will approve it.. But this boy is really an out of mind person he have this much courage to leave the house why can't he say this to his parents??????? Many boys are like this, one day they have to face society and parents how long they can run away.......... but what you have put up here is really true many parents don't know what their son is doing... So, i think parents need to be flexible and very friendly to their grown up children so that they can put their own views and they must discuss pros and cons of everything. This will definitely avoid such situations. I know one family from noida they are business class. They have three sons and except elder other two have married in other caste and they all live happily along with their parents and that person himself given his daughter to other caste boy, as he observed that boy for few years and liked him too much in spite of their financial condition and caste.... I really feel they are lucky that their children are married and they all live for each other..a really happy family...when they all come to noida it seems to be festival everyday....

Dear brindha,

Films mostly depict the real scenerio.I do agree,Parents friendly attitude towards their children can reduce unwanted things to a greater extent.Children will feel free to talk about everything to their parents.

Thanks for posting your views.

Originally Posted by brindhak

Dear kamla...

Ya... this is a soundful issue not only in films but also seen practically.... nowadys.... As far as i think.... as well as the boy/girl or their parents take the responsiblity....
Coming to my first point.... the boy/girl should have much more courage to express his/her affair to their parents..and they must try their best to convince them... without creating such traitful situations for their parents...otherwise DONT GET INTO AFFAIRS........

The second regarding the parents... they should keep en eye always on the activites of their children... . and be more friendlier with them.. in such a way they are able to share everything with them...

Hope these things may prevent these kind of issues..

Love
brindha

hi kamala,

The boy should have informed his parents. parents shower so much love for their kids & ultimately they suffer

The girl's life is shattered. I really feel very bad for the girl

prabha

Dear aruna,

i agree with you in this. Parents should show friendly attitude towards their children, so that the children would feel free to discuss any thing with them.
This is the only solution to the problem.

But in this case, poor parents asked his consent first.That idiot showed much enthu and finally ditched them.

கல்யாண களை-kalyanakkalai.- the happy atmosphere of the wedding.
பெத்த மனசு பித்து, பிள்ளை மனசு கல்லு-
Pettha Manasu Pitthu and Pilai Manasu Kallu-Hearts of children are like stones and that of parents are innocent and loving.parents pour their love without expecting anything in return.

I think i have done little justification. If some one can give better meaning, please help.

Originally Posted by Arunarc

Dear Kamala
This is really not good that has happened to the parents but I feel the parents too should ask the son once in case if he is in love with someone right............
I am a non tamilian can you please put the meaning of this.......கல்யாண களை
and this............" பெத்த மனசு பித்து, பிள்ளை மனசு கல்லு".