Documentation for Dummies!

meenasankaran · May 26, 2015

'Meena, come here for a minute and bring A and S with you' my DH called in a voice that suggested that we were about to have a family meeting. This is a routine matter for us. Every once in a while, he will call, we will gather; he will speak, we will listen; he will dismiss and we will disperse. I always think, in hindsight, that I should have taken a notepad with me because the words of wisdom he doles out in these family meetings deserves to be passed down to generations. Sometimes I wonder how he manages to walk up straight without sagging under the weight of all that knowledge and wisdom. It can't be easy for him, I am sure.

To my 'Can't this wait? I have Sambar on the stove and it's not ready yet', my DH gave an indulgent smile and said no. Of course! Switching off the stove I walked behind him looking back only to make sure A and S are following. The next challenge was gathering around the toilet bowl in the pea-sized bathroom which was the venue of our current meeting. If you haven't seen the Sankaran family recently or the size of this teeny weeny bathroom, you probably cannot understand the mammoth (pun intended) difficulty of fitting the four of us around the said bowl. Lucky for us that the Sankaran spirit isn't easily broken by such hurdles. After a bit of creative maneuvering, we all took our rightful place and waited for the meeting to commence. As my husband cleared his throat to begin, I realized I had once again forgotten the notepad. Darn it!

'As you all know, this toilet has been leaking for a while now' he stopped and looked at us for confirmation. Promptly we all nodded and he continued 'so I have come up with a plan to prevent water getting wasted so much'. A, S and I gazed at him with undiluted awe. He deserves a halo behind his head, I thought reverently, as he got ready to share another one of his master plans with us.

Bending down to point at the knob below, he said 'Remember to turn this counter clockwise every time before you use this bathroom'. He paused to see if we are following and we did what we always do best. We nodded vigorously anxious to relieve his mind of all doubts. How can we not follow him? He even demonstrated 'counter clockwise'. That is how good he is to us. I can't believe how fortunate we are to have his guidance in complicated matters like these. Satisfied that we got it, he proceeded 'After you flush the toilet, wait for 20 seconds and then turn it clockwise until you can turn no more'.

Oh God, please no! Not Math! Not at a time like that. I could see myself in the bathroom reciting 1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand………………….I looked at A and S with despair but they are made of sterner stuff than me. They were looking at my husband with a look that seemed to say 'Is that all you got'? Unfazed by that, of course, my DH continued to patiently demonstrate the knob-turning technique until he was sure the process was etched in our little brains. Such was his training that I found myself practicing the turn unconsciously in the air while watching TV last night.

'But appa' S interrupted his training session and asked 'What about when we have guests at home?' Thrilled and thoroughly pleased by this intelligent question of S, my DH beamed a smiled at her and proceeded to solve this new problem. His ability to provide solutions to problems is spooky sometimes. Give him a problem and he will give you a solution right away but if you are the kind that needs some hand holding with implementation, I suggest you knock on a different door with your problems. How much can one person do? He can't both think and act now, can he?

'This is what you do' he laid out the plan for us. 'Make a document that gives step by step instructions on how to turn the knob and how long they are supposed to wait before turning it again. Be sure to take a picture of the toilet bowl and put an arrow in red (he really pays attention to details) to indicate the position of the knob. A, you are good at drawing, right? I want you to draw examples of clockwise and anti-clockwise motions and put it under the bullet points (he is an expert in delegating, did I tell you?). After all, we want to make it easy for our guests to enjoy our bathroom' he finished.

I blinked the tears of pride that were welling up in my eyes. Such thoughtful and thorough documentation instructions are worthy of a Fortune 500 company's IT department. And here is my DH, brimming with the milk of human kindness, using his skills so you can pee in peace (using the instruction sheet that is soon to go on the wall over the toilet) if you ever plan to stay over in our home.

Is it any wonder we adore him?

Sparkle19 · May 26, 2015

I didn't understand anything:idontgetit:

VanithaSudhir · May 26, 2015

But why !!!! ???

Why not create 'Plumbing for Dummies' ?

suryakala · May 26, 2015

Dear @meenasankaran ,

If a toilet issue receives such a Documented attention, what should be his approach to all other issues!

You are so lucky to have such a person as DH. Just say the issue to him and have cool sleep.Awake and lo! Have a documented solution with amazing details!

kaniths · May 26, 2015

Ha ha very funny read! Love how you narrate... lol! :rotfl

The incident reminded me how my DH one time printed out an excel sheet, the rows/columns neatly colored in different shades, bolded fonts with highlighted remarks everywhere... Beaming about his work (I could literally see the halo) he went on "That's how expenses are to be done!" Really? All this for that?! doh1 I did what I do best most times... blink blink & nod perfectly!!

MyselfandI · May 26, 2015

He seems to be a proper planner, thanks for sharing..enjoyed reading

jayasala42 · May 26, 2015

Congrats to Sankaran for being so meticulous. Does he read the mails?Very rarely we come across people of this type in the present generation.

I am reminded of General elections in 1962 when I was the presiding officer for a polling booth in a remote rural area 50km away from Tiruchy. I was just 20, not even eligible to vote ,working as a teacher in a government school. There was no lodge etc. I was asked to stay with an old woman staying alone in a thatched house.I reached the designated house at 5 P. M. the previous day. There was no toilet in the house and I had to use the open yard for relieving.

That village was known for water scarcity.In the night the old lady gave me some rice with butter milk and two dosais with chilli powder.She gave me a small brass pot( pithalai sombu) full of water. She told me that water is as precious as ghee.She demonstrated how I should keep the pot in between my twoknees, pour little by little water to rinse the plate,wash my hands and mouth and wash my legs too, since it was believed that returning after your food with your feet unwashed will bring in Sani Dosham not only to the person but also to the house.Everything should be done within that water held in the sombu.
Early next morning before the polling booth opened I wanted to take bath and keep ready. The patti silently took me to a big public well nearby and asked me to get into the well and take bath. Already a few women were taking bath.
I was stunned. The 70 year old lady unhesitatingly got into the steps, took bath and came out.
I came home rushing. It was better to stink than to to risk life.
we have so much amenities today and even electricity fails for two hrs, we murmur .But people at the shortage end somehow learn to adapt.Necessity is the mother of invention.

Jayasala 42

sangeethakripa · May 26, 2015

Dear Mam,

Rather doing nothing like some, appreciate your DH's ability to plan effectively and wisely. Though it s superficially humourous the underlying concern deserves a great applause.:clap

madhuprabha · May 26, 2015

Hello Meena,
That was a superb write up. I loved every word and line of urs. I was even imagining all the 4 of your around the toilet and nodding ur heads. laugh1smiley
The halo around ur DH, the notepad in ur hands, A & S nodding solemnly ........... it was very funny.
Great job.

jayasala42 · May 26, 2015

Dear Meena sankaran,
This is out of topic.
Toilet Issue is a big issue madam.Some children find it very difficult to get potty training.
My grandson aged 2 feels scarry listening to the flush sound. He feels some stranger is sitting inside toilet bowl and making strange noise.If somebody is inside the bathroom, he silently stands outside the bathroom and as soonas the flush sound is heard he starts screaming .sometimes I feel that his screaming is due to fear or excitement.

My grand daughter is just the opposite. Even while not using the toilet she would enter the bathroom, press the button to see the water gushing out.She was just 15 months old. She never understood what toilet is intended for.For her toilet was a small pond in which fish will float,if sombody by mistake left the toilet unclean she will go there with a tea filter and start fishing. As the door could not be locked from outside, my daughter found it very difficult to manage.
We took her to saravana bhavan hotel in Singapore. The waiter asked" papa, what do you want. Pat came the reply'fish'.We were shocked and the waiter too.He said that they had no fish.She was very adamant that she had seen fish in the hotel and started weeping. My daughter by way of comforting her took the child and showed her all the items exhibited outside.
After a few mts my grand daughter shouted with joy" here is the fish".It was Gulabjamun floating in sugar syrup.
It is interesting watching children grow.
Meena, sorry for diversion.

Jayasala 42