Is happiness perceived or felt?

Viswamitra · May 26, 2015

Is happiness perceived or felt? This is a question that has been daunting me for a while. While most learned people taught us that “we have the Bliss Sheath inherent in one’s Self that has saturated happiness one could feel forever, if one gets to it. But then the question becomes does one need to perform actions in order to perceive happiness in life? Is inaction the answer to perceive happiness as opposed to performing actions in life?

Everyone agrees that it is impossible for anyone not to perform actions as one is born to do actions in life. There is no purpose in resisting actions as it is equivalent of opposing dualism when the entire premises of creation is based on dualism. Without dualism, the world ceases to exist. We have to dance to the play of the Creator by performing actions and only thing we can do better is to perform actions that would help us to overcome the dualism. Similarly, everyone agrees that there is nothing wrong in seeking happiness as it is the purpose of life. When doing actions becomes a must and seeking happiness becomes essential, one is confused that performing actions is to perceive happiness. They are not interconnected.

When one is loved by the family, one gets emotional satisfaction, one obtains a job that meets the expectations, one gets intellectual satisfaction, one gets a social status, one gets psychological satisfaction and one begins to understand the strengths of the Self inside, one gets spiritual satisfaction. They all appear to be different according to several Western writers but in real terms, they all arises out of emotions of human beings. It is one’s own emotion that makes a person seek all these satisfaction. They still stem out of self-gratification aspect of one’s mind and one misconstrues them as the purpose of life.

The real Self-satisfaction comes only when one begins enjoying giving everything one possesses. It is difficult to get rid of emotions but it can be converted into Self-satisfying from self-gratifying. For that one should experience the emotions of giving. When one rules the country or a state, one should have the mind set of giving services to the humanity and even one who is interested in helping the people in need such as elders, children and poor, one should develop a mindset of giving selflessly. When someone demonstrates unconditional love to the fellow beings, the Self-satisfaction one derives is infinite. When one attempts to give love and possessions with pure heart, automatically the attitude of possessiveness and attachment disappears slowly from the mind. The difference is when one does self-gratifying action, the happiness is perceived from outside and when one perform selfless actions for the benefit of others, the Self-satisfaction is felt inside and it stays permanently.

It is important to feed the senses to the extent needed as it is difficult to starve the senses completely. The survival of the senses is essential for someone to perform actions. The best approach is to keep reducing the self-gratifying feed to the senses and fill them with Self-satisfying love for the fellow beings with an attitude to look at them with compassion. Let us visualize how tastier food is always junk foods that harms our health and healthier food is not necessarily tasty. The same way, the senses may like to feed itself with junk food but we have to train them to take only the healthy food that is good for the transformation of senses to become compassionate to everything that they touch or feel. One has to realize that happiness perceived by the senses are unreal whereas what is felt by the Self is real.

There is a subtle difference between appreciation of the art as opposed to creating one. Deriving self-gratification or seeking happiness from outside is like appreciation of the art that stays with us only for a while whereas Self-satisfaction is like creating it ourselves and it stays with us forever. The one who approaches the life with an attitude of gratitude such as appreciation the nature, seeing the good in everyone and doing actions for the common good, feels it inside. Most importantly, this attitude helps one to get rid of desires and develop detachment. Recognizing the oneness of all is true happiness and it can be felt only inside of us.

jayasala42 · May 26, 2015

Dear Viswa,
It is a great delight to listen to Viswa.You have in your own inimitable style have differentiated self satisfaction, the most needed one from self gratification-a thing to avoid.
We have read in psychology that man is comparable to a tower. A tower should have a strong foundation.The bottom most layer of human tower is made up of 'instints.'A new born instinctively cries, laughs,folds its fingers,suckles the mother without being taught by anyone.
Next layer is 'emotions'-identifying process.,followed by 'a higher grade of emotion called 'sentiment'.
As the tower grows it becomes narrower.The sentiments are followed by what is known as 'intellect'-a further selective but an important and essential phase of life governed by Free Will gifted to us by Him.This is the middle portion of the tower containing lot of sculptures and paintings that are visible even at a distance.
Once this part of the tower is built strong enough,then the phase'character 'appears which is actually the resultant cumulative factor of instincts,emotions, sentiment and intellect.
Next factor is the apex part of the tower called 'personality'-we call great men as 'towering personalities'.

Unlike in a building,the human tower never gets the construction completed.In a building once all the process of foundation is complete and the building comes to the earth's level, a plinth beam is built to reinforce the pillar foundation and is laid to rest fro some time. Then no longer the foundation is touched. But in human tower formation, even till death some instincts are added and all the sensuous pleasures are still alive.We go to the lower surface in gratification of senses,become emotional at times of crisis or at the loss of the nearest and dearest( may be objects) also .By ignoring one by one when we try to build our character, some contra forces act on us.We yield to certain forces.
Human tower is never complete with gratification totally transformed into what Viswa terms as 'satisfaction'.
I think that 90% of the people continue to live amidst instincts. Actually speaking human beings are essentially made of instincts and emotions alone.Total transformation, though not impossible, is a rare possibility.
Even paropakara.the selfless acts of kindness and affection and service attitude is a beautiful blend of instints, emotions and sentiments carefully selected by intellect.

I am reminded of an imaginary conversation that took place between two stones.
One stone said,"I want to be a stone made into a beautiful sculpture, beautifully painted and kept at a presentable spot in the building so that all people visiting the building can stand, have a look and appreciate me.
However another stone said"No, I don't want to be looked at by others. I want to become a part of basement stone, bear the pressure and weight of the entire building .I want to get buried underneath. I want to be kept in dark, I want neither sun shine or cool breeze. I want to be one of those stones making the building strong so that you can look tall before others' eyes.
Sentiments and emotions cannot be set aside as unwanted things. In fact they are the fundamentals on which human growth is based and is the basis of towering personality.

Jayasala 42

girvani · May 26, 2015

Dear Viswa Sir & Jayasala madam,
Reading your snippets never let me be without stirring my thoughts. True education to listen to you all. Especially, when we are away from our parents and elders you are the ones gives us moral solutions for dilemmmas.Thank you very much.
I dont have experiences like you but at the end of the day, after work, when I feed the family and they ate happily, finish my chores, did the homework with the kids and then every body coming to bed with the smily face, then i feel ecstatic and that is for me happiness. Hearing from or speak to the lovely ones after a long time make me happy and so on. For me, these small happinesses leads to the ultimate enlightment one day i guess
Vani

hrastro · May 26, 2015

:wow

I am speechless !! I'm looking for some words to describe my feelings of awe and humility for the knowledge gained from your snippets! Not getting any words at all!

:Bow:to @Viswamitra and @jayasala42

Most of us who visit here are still in the saansarika moha maaya and cooking, cleaning, kids, school, classes, spouse and relatives take the front seat in our lives.

I may not write an answer to your posts - not because I havent read it or not enjoyed it, but because I am speechless and lost in a world totally rid of maya !
The Truth seems to be just in my grasp, within my reach ! I can touch it, feel it but cannot hold it... It slips away too soon, within seconds some transactions with umpteen people and actions of the world will break it up and I am lost again.

The presence of you stalwarts on this forum is indeed a gift for us !

Thank you for your enlightening posts. Please keep writing!
:bowdown

jayasala42 · May 26, 2015

Dear Girvani,
You have said it all.If you are satisfied with your responsibilities,if the children eat , sleep and read well and their small hug is happiness.After all institution of marriage has been framed with this purpose in mind.
If a man and wife take care of the children and mould them into notable citizens it is a responsibility that is within the reasonable limit of parents. If all the parents are able to take good care of their children,then around 80% of the society's job is over. The remaining 20%-the irresponsible ones, parents afflicted by severe ailments, children of persons who have lost their parents early in life and the have-nots etc etc.That can be taken care of either by the government or shared by 80% by taking on themselves a few more additional chores which may not be a burden.chores.
This is a simple understanding of life.This is true pragmatism.
Problems arise only when individuals do not contribute their worthy share to their own families.In essence if all the parents are responsible enough-or can you call it selfish behaviour-to take max care of their own 5 or 6 family members,it amounts to social service.
No special vedanta is needed for this.
Viswa , sorry for intervention.

jayasala 42

shyamala1234 · May 26, 2015

Dear Viswamitra,
Here I am again with all my doubts, apprehensions, no black and white views...grey shade seem to be prominent.
I haven't read many Vedantha books, do not know much about Bliss sheath saturated with happiness.
So, our happiness depends on how we handle situations. I think that happiness is an attitude. Nobody is happy all the time and unhappy all the time. It varies in cycles. Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Combination of both. Some pleasures give us happiness...short term, like watching a movie or playing some game with kid or watching an interesting programme and on and on. There is pleasure in doing those things. Is it not happiness. It is. But short lived. We may forget about them soon.
Action...
It is impossible not to do any activity...we are always engaged in something or else always...absolutely. No other way. But it all depends on what that activity it is. It may be self satisfying or self gratification. If one is focussed on a challenging activity. We are serious about it, try to do our level best. It may be studies, research or some other fruitful work or some hobbies and ...the satisfaction or happiness it gives is more that simple pleasures which are very very short lived. But we have to work hard for it. This is also happiness which lasts longer.
And the ultimate one, spirituality...it gives meaning to life, we question so many doubts and try to clarify those doubts from a Guru or learned people and the quest starts. It is larger than life.
Emotions...you are absolutely right. There are emotions in every walk of life..family, friends, professional. Nobody is without emotions. A person without any emotions is a dry person without feelings and nothing worthwhile is being done for himself or to the family or even to the world.
Giving selflessly, unconditionally is an excellent att itude and everyone should strive for it. No doubt. But at some points we are the givers and at some point we are takers. While taking something from someone we should be grateful and while giving should not expect anything back and should selfless (easier said than doing). However we may try to get detached it is not possible completely. Even a little detachment is o.k. My limit is only upto that point. I am attached to so many things in life.....nothing wrong as long as it does not hurt or inconvenience others.
So, to me the bottom line is...lead a dsciplined life, controlling senses, do our duties properly and slowly slowly try to reform oneself and lead a meaningful life. Try to instill a good character in children (there is no guarantee because pulls and pushes of the outside world are too strong). .
Hope you would read it patiently.There is no perfect parent nor a perfect child. Take life as it comes...what else we can do?
I rambled enough (may be confusing)...but no clear cut answers for everything.Hope you would read it patiently.
Thank you.
Syamala

meenasankaran · May 26, 2015

Dear Viswa sir,

Like hrastro said, I am speechless too after reading this gem of a snippet. While I am usually a bit slow understanding spiritual stuff, I actually got this one. Do you know what drove the nail home for me? The food analogy. :thumbsup When you spoke of how junk food tastes good but is harmful to us and how good food that tastes like junk is best for us, I totally got what you were saying about the perception of happiness. You really do know how to reach the masses Viswa sir. I agree with you that 'giving' is the path to true happiness. The joy we feel when we reach out to help fellow beings with no expectation of anything in return beats any other kind of happiness. Thank you for such a wonderful snippet Viswa sir. I bow before your wisdom.

PushpavalliSrinivasan · May 26, 2015

Dear Viswa,
I feel happiness is felt as well as derived. When we fulfill our responsibilities to our near and dear ones we feel happy and gratified.

When we go out of the way and do help someone without any expectation, the happiness we derive gives us self satisfaction.

Without performance deriving or perceiving happiness is not possible. It might be a physical or mental performance.

Even for achieving eternal bliss we have to focus our mind inwardly which needs lot of concentration and effort.

Thanks for the thought provoking snippet.

PS

Viswamitra · May 26, 2015

Dear Smt. Jayasala:

Thank you for sharing the wonderful lessons learned in psychology. Especially, lesson you shared here is presented to strengthen the point I was making in my original post. I really enjoy reading your posts and responses primarily because of the depth of knowledge and clarity of thought.

All sciences including psychology approach the subject (Self) through objects (the perceived world) whereas spirituality is the only thing that approaches learning the subject by exploring the subject. In Tamil, there is a proverb that goes "Thalaiya suthi mookai thodudhal" meaning "touching the nose by going around the head". The science believes that the knowledge is gained from outside whereas spirituality believes that what resides in us is full of knowledge.

It is true that human being is born with just instincts and emotions and over a period of time he/she builds intellect and character. I have no doubts whatsoever that instincts and emotions are the foundation of the castle of humanity. That is why I mentioned that it is difficult to eliminate emotions or even for that matter the vagaries of senses. However, I believe that emotions are the foundation of the castle of humanity. But at the same time, the stones that are laid as foundation should not aspire to be on top of the castle nor the intellect and character should aspire to become a foundation. The very purpose of building the castle of humanity will be defeated if foundation aspire to be on top. We have seen gory effects of earthquake that shakes the foundation of the building. The foundation stones are created to be inside the earth and provide stability whereas the purpose of the subtle intellect and character is to be the beacon to realize the purpose of life. The functions of all are important but as Poet Kannadasan said, "Everything should remain at the respective places". In fact, the subtlety of intellect and character is determined by how a human emotions are converted into Self-satisfying from self-gratifying. That is why learned people say that decisions in life should not be taken with emotions but with intellect whereas compassion to the fellow beings should be taken with emotions and not with intellect.

The purpose of my post is not to undermine the role of instincts and emotions but to emphasize the importance of giving love to the fellow beings to strengthen the emotions to become Self-satisfying. I hope I clarified my thoughts as I don't get my thoughts out as clearly as you get out yours in the first attempt.

I enjoy reading everyone of your responses so much and I consider your responses as more valuable than my original posts. Isn't it a blessing to have the company of learned people? I can't thank you enough for enlightening me with your thoughts.

Viswa

Viswamitra · May 26, 2015

Dear Vani,

Thank you for your wonderful response. I am glad to know that my snippets stir your thoughts and it is very satisfying to know that. I am a beginner and I am sailing in the same boat as everyone else struggling to learn lessons from my life. I feel very blessed to get the affection of the fellow ILites here.

Learned people suggest the first and foremost duty is towards the family. As long as one gives love to the family members and feel great sense of fulfillment in sacrificing their time for the welfare of the family with no expectations, it is considered holy act. As long as it done with the manobhava of giving with no expectations, it turns out to be an act that is loved by the Lord. Any happiness that resides permanently is true happiness and as long as you continue to feel happy, it is a sign of Self-satisfying act or emotion.

God bless you and your family with abundance of happiness and peace.

Viswa