Happily ever after!

meenasankaran · Apr 24, 2015

‘Mom, call me… need to talk to you ASAP’, my daughter had sent me a message few weeks ago. Between the time I saw the mail and managed to get to a phone, my mind had assumed its favorite ‘Sivaji ganesan’ role and overacted as usual. Even as I dialed with shaky hands, I imagined her lying helpless and pale in bed at her college dorm burning up in fever yearning for her mom to be at her side.

Like I said, my mind over(e)acts at times. Being the only active part of my body, I think it tries to balance the scales every now and then by going in to overdrive. When my daughter picked up the phone at the first ring, I pounced with ‘A, are you okay? Are you in pain? Don’t worry, Appa and I will come and get you soon. Take a couple of advil and lie down until we get there.’ Next to seedless green grapes, Advil is the most popped/prescribed item in my diet.

While I stopped to gulp air, A interjected with a puzzled ‘Amma, who said I was sick?’ Apparently, all she wanted was to discuss her course selection for the next semester with me. Really A?? You couldn’t say that in your email?? How many more grey hairs would you have me ‘henna-rinse’ each month? As it is, the petition to increase my beautician budget from 3 months ago is still pending with her Dad. Anyway, I was glad she was okay.

Also, she was not completely without worries. Driven by a goal to finish her degree early, she has been cramming her semesters with tons of gruesome science courses and has been juggling her time between her classes, labs, homework and volunteering. I have never seen anyone with such clarity of mind in setting goals but knowing where you have to go doesn’t automatically make your path easier, I guess.

Sometimes I wonder how the kids of this generation handle so much pressure without falling apart. If I have to live their lives for a day, I will take up my Dad’s offer from childhood without blinking where he had often offered to buy me 4 cows and 4 sheep to shepherd as an alternative to going to school. Cattle will stomp on Chemistry any day, if you go by Sheldon Cooper’s ‘Rock, paper, scissors, lizard and spock’ logic. What puzzles me most is how these kids dress up. How come they all wear their underwear inside their pants and not outside like Superman? Then how will this world recognize them for what they truly are? You would think all their fancy education would tell them how to dress the part. Duh!

I cannot recall a single day from my childhood when I had worried about life after college, about paying off college loans, landing internships or finding part-time jobs to fund further education. Life was much simpler for us. We were the 21[SUP]st[/SUP] century version of Jane Austen’s Bennett family.

My sisters and I were raised lovingly by a large joint family whose collective aspiration was to get us all married as soon we graduated. My mother aka Mrs. Bennett’s visits to the local temples fetched her not only divine blessings but also information about families with eligible bachelors in the 20 mile radius. I don’t recall her stepping out of our house without our horoscopes in her purse. Next to the ‘sundal’ prasadam, our horoscopes were the most popular item distributed in the temples those days.

In anticipation of someone knocking on our door to check on our availability in the marriage mart, my Dad and Uncle were forever in a ‘ready’ state to prostrate at their feet for that favor. My Uncle loved us as his own so much so that he handwrote our ‘assets’ painstakingly on the back of our horoscopes before they were distributed around town – ‘Fair complexion, docile (a small lie never hurts anyone, he believed), sings well, can put ‘kolam’/rangoli and excellent cook’. His love for us knew no bounds really.

Coming back to our stress-free childhood, my wise sister attributes it to a ‘lack of expectation’ from us. All we had to do was graduate and get ready to pick our wedding clothes. I am happy to say that my sisters and I rose to the occasion and completed the task set for us with flying colors. We, the Bennetts, lived happily ever after and never had occasion to wear our underwear on top of our pants.
How about you?

Lathasv · Apr 24, 2015

@meenasankaran
I can't control my laugh while reading superman's dressing.laugh1smiley
me too admire by this generation goals and ideas.

Viswamitra · Apr 24, 2015

Dear Meena,

I always know that your sense of humor is unmatched but now I have come to the conclusion that it is also growing at a geometric progression when compared to your own standards. I am giving below some of the lines from your post that made me laugh out loud with my comments.

my mind had assumed its favorite ‘Sivaji ganesan’ role and overacted as usual
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Isn't always the case with most of us? Probably, our minds had a lesson from Sivaji.

Next to seedless green grapes, Advil is the most popped/prescribed item in my diet.
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How can you say the truth with such a great sense of humor? There are no houses in the US where Advil does not have a place. The couple might fight with each other and get separated but Advil will never get separated.

the petition to increase my beautician budget from 3 months ago is still pending with her Dad.
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Is there a budget for it? Really? You gave me some new ideas to implement.

I will take up my Dad’s offer from childhood without blinking where he had often offered to buy me 4 cows and 4 sheep to shepherd as an alternative to going to school.
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"Madu meykadhan layakku" is the term that is used very often those days for getting grades that are not palatable to the parents. Boys can't take such offers, in a way, I am jealous that girls can at least consider those options.

How come they all wear their underwear inside their pants and not outside like Superman?
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Isn't it true that they could accomplish so much more without wearing the costume of a superman? I really admire your daughter for not only managing her course curriculum so well but also for consulting her mom. We are blessed with only a boy and he notifies about the subjects after he chooses, but, manages everything on his own efficiently.

Next to the ‘sundal’ prasadam, our horoscopes were the most popular item distributed in the temples those days.
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I can't believe how they found matching horoscopes those days by word of mouth without a matrimonial website? I can't believe world existed without internet a few decades ago.

‘Fair complexion, docile (a small lie never hurts anyone, he believed), sings well, can put ‘kolam’/rangoli and excellent cook’.
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Isn't it an irony that the one that your dad asked you not to be proud of as you have got it as God's gift (philosophically speaking) is the one the society was looking for in a good matrimony? Well, innocent docile living beings are the ones who teaches a lot to their spouses and children. I am glad things are changing for good as for as marriages are concerned in the current generation.

A very well written snippet and I always look forward to your post. What next?

Viswa

Srama · Apr 24, 2015

Dear Meena!

What a joy it is to read you and I so thoroughly enjoyed this post. The weight balancing part of our body indeed works overtime making sure we think in a myriad ways. But doesn't it make you happy that what course to take is such an important decision and needs mom's help? I do think you have done your job well as a mom Meena and if you choose to wear super mom pants, you deserve it. Let the kids continue to wear the superman pants outside. They do deserve it after all. It indeed is a different world that our kids are growing up in but they are more in tune with it than we are.

You talk about college courses and life changing decisions and I have been here privy to home coming dances, college visits, what to wear and making all the decisions without sleeping for 25hrs straight! I would have collapsed. What would have, just listening to the youngsters talk about it, I collapse and ask them to slow down.

While I do look at my kids and wonder about how I was then and then choose to give a couple of "You know at your age, I was ...." talk, in my heart I do know they are juggling a lot.

As always such a humorous write up Meena and I so enjoyed reading it.

jayasala42 · Apr 24, 2015

Dear Meena Sankaran,
A humour couched reality of events in middle class homes.Boys should go for jobs and girls should be ever ready to get married to the person chosen by the parents. That was the norm those days and about 80% of the marriages worked out well and others in distress.
'Happily lived thereafter' is not a reality even assuming that happiness is what we make.
Today's children both boys and girls face lot of challenges these days.
Most of the children never seek advice,every thing is for information and necessary action.parents seem to have no role.While a few paraents grumbled over this, now no parent is bothered.Parents need more freedom these days than children- a reality to see everywhere.

Jayasala 42

girvani · Apr 25, 2015

Dear Meena. Reading your write up , on a Saturday morning, surprisingly while my youngest is sleeping(he wakes up at 5 and now he is still sleeping) is the best moment. I am laughing my head off and my oldest, 5 year old is giving me a strange look. You have a gift of writing. Before you know, without you even have to look or make the horoscope , our kids will come and show their partners to us I guess

Kamalji · Apr 25, 2015

Dear Meena,

HAHA. superb , what a sense of humor.
Regards
kamal

iyerviji · Apr 25, 2015

@meenasankaran dear as always a humerous post, worthy of nomination which Viswa has done. As Jayakka has mentioned parents need freedom now a days. Earlier girls were not asked also after the pen parkum padalam, whoever the parents choose they used to marry . Now a days the youngsers themsevles choose but are not lucky to choose the right partner and many end in divorce.

Kamla · Apr 25, 2015

Mama Mia Meenasankaran!

whT a laugh riot you are!! Ok, I know I sound like a broken record repeating the same to you. What to do, I must call a spade a spade!

I agree with you that today's kids have more to chew than what they can swallow. Also agree they are all super kids managing and multi taking all the things that come their way. They sure deserve to wear whatever they want to on top of their pants!

all the same, it does not make our magical Meena any less. You did your parents proud by not protesting about them distributing your personal details to public at the temple corners! You even married and surely made your hubby proud of you with your humor ( I assume) and raised these worthy doughters. To top it, you went ahead and have become a favorite to thousands of bloggers and readers with your rib tickling write ups! So much so you made our resident muneeswar Viswa to nominate this post to FP with high recommendation--- so, tell me, if not you, who else will qualify to wear the underwear over the pants??.
You are a Superwoman!

So, I hereby await for your new profile pick with the aforesaid befitting costume.....

L, Kamla

hrastro · Apr 26, 2015

meenasankaran said: ↑

Next to the ‘sundal’ prasadam, our horoscopes were the most popular item distributed in the temples those days.
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I was lying down and reading this - I had to sit up and hold my stomach to finish my snort, laugh and giggle fest