Birthday Bumps…

When I was born, my mom wanted to name me “Swetha” and everyone broke into convulsions with laughter as if she cracked the world’s funniest joke! I was bluish black! Doesn’t Swetha mean the whitest? It took several years for me to lighten up to a wheatish complexion! A year later started the saga of my birthdays…

I never wondered about MY first birthday until my mom revealed it in her recent US trip in her victim tense (This is one of those additional tenses apart from the regular – Past, Present and Future Tenses). A year after my birth, my 19-year-old mom who was bought up in city with gas stoves, tap water, TV etc was living at her in-laws ancestral home in a village. She was taking care of her FIL’s old mother, FIL, MIL who had a hysterectomy almost 2 months ago and me-a barely one year old while she cooked on wood burning-three stone fire, drew water from the backyard well and listened to the antique radio at NEWS time in absolute silence along with all the others in the house!All this while, my dad stayed away at his medical school.
Then came my first birthday which my mom wanted to celebrate! Her MIL i.e my Grandma murmured and nagged endlessly like always, out of which my mom could understand only few sentences. “We don’t have these city traditions; we don’t have birthdays …”. My hurtful mom still did celebrate my first birthday alone. She gave me a wonderful bath, put one of my new dresses from a wedding that happened a week ago and took a piece of laddoo from the same wedding and put in my mouth with tears, saying “Happy Birthday- Bangarooo” (Goldie)!

Two years later, we were at my maternal grandparents in May. For my grand father (mom’s dad) this was a chance for revenge for the last two years, a chance to show off his favorite and intelligent grand daughter to the world. He got his entire bungalow in the middle of the city painted; he had shamiyana in the front and invited everyone. I still remember some part of that – Me in a dazzling silk dress, cutting the cake in the room decorated with colored paper and balloons in midst of many people singing Happy Birthday. Between years..what a contrast!

I don’t quite remember all my birthdays there after, but they were always in the summer holidays. And when I am at my maternal grand parents, it would be a grand party with good gifts like dresses and books. Everyone who gifted me books didn’t know the effect their gifts on me until they read my first poem and my first article in Deccan Chronicle during my high school! I still used to complain that I couldn't have my birthday in school with my friends during the school year.

Years passed and I was in my Engineering school. YoBoyzNGalz, DaatWuzDaDayOfPaaartey! (Sorry, ‘hey boys and girls, that was the day of party’ – plain English!). Every one would take the whole damn class to the one of the happening places around the city; it doesn’t matter if you are a prince or a pauper! First few years, I celebrated it with my best friends quietly with their gifts and greeting cards from heart. Since I am too much into Hindi music – my friends gave me music cassettes filled with soulful songs. I still remember when I cried hugging one of my best friends after cutting the cake and opening the gift – a walkman out of which the song “pal pal dil ke paas thum rahete ho..” flowed into the air of Gandipet! Happy Days!
But the final year, I had to ask my dad for couple of thousands of rupees so I can throw a party like the NRI kids. And to my surprise, I had the money in my hand the next day. I took our gang to a trendy Burger joint and it was a riot. Best friends, Girl friends, Crushes and Admirers – the hot May summer air got only hotter!

The next year, I found my self with totally new faces in the US. But like everywhere, I made friends – that too friends who are warm forever. My birthday party was as much fun as disgusting were the birthday bumps. Two years later, it was a special one. I was married only two months! I drove to my new husband that weekend and there it was – my surprise birthday cake with countless candles and bunches of red roses on the deck! It was wonderful and so were many birthdays after that.

But this year, it doesn’t feel the same. I am never worried about my age since I look 24 – A..L.W..A..Y..S! It is something else! I guess, out of all my thoughts about my family, parents and in-laws – I lost track of myself! What am I doing for my self? I am 32! My mom had three daughters aged 14 down by this time! I don’t deserve to even look at any comparisons between her and me at 32! Am I successful? What is my definition of success? I came here to US, did my masters, got a job, got married, had a kid and may be helped parents and in-laws with a little money. But is this all I can do living here? These things could have been done even with me being close to the folks back home! Or can they? Where did my dream of being successful and the best go? Go online and I see people successful right from ages 25 and up (especially Indians)! What about my hobbies - my writing, my painting etc. Will I ever do all the things I want to do and be all the things I want to be…

“Take a deep breath my dear, you are having a panic attack”– said a voice! I look up to see – Hey that’s me in a cute white angel dress!

She smiled and whispered “Oh Venus, my dear Venus – what more do you want than what you have right now. Is it not a blessing how you are right now? Yes, you are not still there where you wanted to be, but like anything else it needs time and effort. And I assure you that you can be where you want to be, if you plan and act intelligently and consistently. But for now, go have dinner with your hubby who fixed it while you typed away your brains.And before going to bed – sit in prayer thanking the God and meditate all your worries away. And we shall see what we shall see…”

Dear Venus,

I wish You a Very Happy Birthday. Hope u had a lot of fun.


I read most of your threads, and a fan of your writing, attitude. I enjoyed reading this post, especially the last paragraph .

I wish You good luck in achieving your goals

KiranVishnu

Hi venus,

Janmadina shubhakankshalu.

One of amongst of your fans,who always love to read ur poetic posts.

hugs,
dg.

Dear Kiran, welcome to IL. Thanks for reading my posts. Please keep sending comments like this and encourgare me. Thanks for the Birthday wishes. Like it ends, it couldn't have been any more fun yesterday.

Hi Dg, many thanks for your comments.I could get used to the word "Fan" . Please keep sending me these kind words of encouragments.

hi very nice post. happy birthday. the way we celebrate anything changes over time so much. don’t worry you are still very young and you can do a lot of things. i liked your writing.

Hi Adhrusya, Thanks for your comments. You are right – though we celebrate special occasions like birthdays and wedding anniversaries every year, the ways, the spirit, the enthusiasm etc changes. Keep reading my stuff and keep me encouraged this way.

Hi Venonimiss,


Happy Birthday!!!!. I think everything changes with time, it is better to accept it & enjoy life. Really enjoyed ur post, went back to memories of my. Eat some cake frm side also. Have fun.

Suman

Dear Suman, Thanks for your wishes and comments. Aren’t those old memories wonderful! At that time we all wanted more, but when we look now – those were the wonderful Happy Days! Yes, I will have to eat cake from everyone’s behalf to finish it (It is a big carrot cake my friends bought; why couldn’t they get some Tres Leches- my favorite!)

Wishing You a Marvellous Year ahead My Dear Venus........."HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

Putniaa rosu......veti matalena naa? treat eavi ellatha? .just kidding.......enjoyed your post asusual....

Cheers
Ramya