The Rainbow in the Soul

"I want to go to Mansarovar" I announce, first to no one in particular. When it becomes evident that the only other occupant of the room has not heard or pretends he hasn't, I address the statement directly to him.

"First go for your walk" is the response.

We visit a waterfall in Kerala - Athirapally. There are two views - one as soon as one walks down the road in the forest towards the river from where one can see the water falling over and for the second, one has to go a considerable distance down the hill. "It might be difficult for you" says the BH. I am determined to go. I manage the distance to the river and look at the water cascading over the edge, sit there for a while, play in the water. After a while, BH decides to go back and drive further along the road in the forest. Something makes me insist on going down. "No, you won't be able to do it. It's too steep and a rough path."

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"Let me try. If I feel I can't, I shall turn back. Let me try to go down slowly" I reply. A young lady and her 5 year old kid who have come to India on a holiday along with the lady's parents have come and the kid starts going down the path. That inspires me. I start gradually and eventually make it down to the bottom of the waterfall. What a moment! What a sight! Now comes the difficult part - climbing up again. Well, there is no choice. I can climb up or I can stay where I am. It is good to be in that situation. I push myself uphill, slowly, steadily, stopping once or twice to catch my breath. Eventually we are back at the top. It's a moment of triumph. Determination has won over fears and uncertainties.

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A few months later we go to Goa. We go to see the new lighthouse. I don't know whether it was tougher or easier than the previous 'adventure'. (People who trek regularly or participate in a lot of adventure sports might scoff at me, but believe me, for it is a challenge.) I climb up the entire flights of stairs only to find that we are in a kind of tiny room from where there is a metal ladder leading through a tiny square opening onto the lookout. Do it! I climb gingerly, squeeze through and oh, the scenery! Such bliss! The cool breeze, the view of the sea, the kites flying around, little boats and ships all around ..... The feeling of watching everything from above gives me that wonderful feeling of watching life and "reality" from outside. Climbing down that ladder carefully so as not to fall or hurt myself is another challenge. I do it.

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Right next to the light house is the Aguada fort. "Let's go around and see it" says the BH. He is one for historical places, but not me. "What's there to see? You saw what's inside from the top of the lighthouse" I reply. Then I just tag around to check out if there are any birds to photograph. The path around the fort is precariously narrow. I am struggling as my back and hip keep sending out sharp twinges of pain. I keep inching forward. Finally I can say "been there, done that". Also get a couple of pics of birds.

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From there we go to the beach. The road from the parking place to the beach is along steep, stone steps. We go down. I see people going paragliding. I so want to do it. Two things prevent me. I have not come prepared with the right kind of clothes to get drenched. Also I am uncertain how my back would accept that challenge. So I decide to just walk along the water's edge, knee deep in the waves. I want to go from one end to the other. Unfortunately my back does not allow me that luxury. There is a degree of exasperation at myself. However, I get to watch a glorious sunset and take pics of crows having fun in the water!

I know I shall go to Mansarovar some day. That is my dream. Now I need to work towards it and that is where I need some discipline and will power - going for walks and regular exercises. That is something I DON'T enjoy. Walking for the heck of a walk is a punishment. Walking with a purpose - as in going to see some new place, going birdwatching are all fun. To get something, I shall have to work hard.

It has certainly been a long journey since February 2012. If I have come this distance, I shall certainly go further. What I have endured has been worthwhile. It has changed my perspective on life. I find it easier to live with myself. The positives are the first things that come to mind, no matter what the situation. I feel and cannot help noticing that change. My cup is always half full - I can't say it was that way earlier. Living in the moment and for the moment is gradually becoming a habit - to the exasperation of others who complain I live in my own world and am too impulsive (yes, even more than before).

Just today I watched a short speech by a young girl who was very ill. She gave such a wonderfully inspiring speech at INK 3 years ago. The wisdom that comes through her words is amazing. I could not help marvelling at the fact that she, in her short span of life had learned things that have taken me half a lifetime to experience and understand. And for those experiences, I am eternally grateful. It is one thing to read and "understand" philosophy and a totally different matter when those realities get integrated into your life through practical experience.

I loved the way she ended her talk - "My soul would have no rainbow, if my eyes had no tears" she says. What a wonderful way of putting it! The peace and the contentment that the years have brought are the rainbow in my soul.

 

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Do watch this! If this is not inspiring ......

Aisha Chaudhary - Hopeful, Determined, and Wise Beyond Her Years! | Inspire My Kids

 

Thanks a lot Rahul.

 

Sabitha, you are an eternal inspiration to me in more ways than one - whether it be for physical fitness or spiritual growth. As for me (quoting your signature line), the first thing I need to sacrifice is my innate sense of inertia, laziness and lack of self-discipline. That is probably what prevents me from doing exercises and going for daily walks. I wonder how I am going to get there.

 

So true GG, quite literally and figuratively too!

 

Sumi, it is really heartening to hear about people who manage to travel to all these places despite age et al. Thanks a lot for those heartening words.