Obama-Modi Summit

Since childhood, I always loved to watch foriegn dignitaries visiting India. The parade, the welcoming of the guest stepping down from the airplane, the hand shakes. All of it had a charm. It nearly felt as if the dignitary has come to my home to visit me.


Now Obama is visiting India to participate in the Republic day parade. The 26th Jan and the 15th Aug, even though were holidays, i used to wake up early to see the parade and the prime minister's speech. Watching the parade, felt proud of our Jawans. It must be difficult for the 1st person in the parade (on the side closer to the President) to look straight while the rest turning their heads towards the President. Anyway, watching them walking in tandem and then watching subsequent floats of different states and watching some of the military equipment was just awesome.

One thing, I always wondered was what do these leaders talk one-on-one. Most of the bilateral talks are worked at different levels prior to the summit and the summit is where the heads do the signature based on the what was agreed. So what do these leaders talk about.

Here I try to visualize the one-on-one talk between Obama and Modi.

Obama : Kem cho Mr. Prime Minister
Modi: Majama, Fine Thank You Mr. President. How are you?
Obama: Doing fine. Thank you for the hospitality. It was great. The Undhiyu and Shrikand were very good. Never thought Vegetarian food will be so great. Michelle wants to pack some of the food. Waiting for my retirement. But let me tell you, you are my hero.
Modi: No. No. You are my hero. I watched your 2008 campaign enthusiastically. I liked your slogan, "Yes, We can". I based my campaign based on that, "Acche din Annale wale hai" - Good days are coming. You used hope and i also used hope. So you inspire me. You used social media and grass root campaigning. I used the same. You wanted to be President for two terms, I also want to be the Prime Minister for two terms. You are my hero.
Obama: Mr. Prime Minister, You are so humble. The difference is that I lost my charm but you have been gaining it. Apart from my elections, none of the elections my party won. You have been winning all the elections for your party. What's the difference.
Modi: Again, i just learned from you. When you came to power, you released a huge stimulus package. The intention was to keep people busy. If people are not busy then they scrutinize the government. So I knew that I have to keep people busy. So, I started the Swach Bharat Abhiyan (Clean India Campaign), Public lavatories for women, high speed trains, Make In India campaign, free buttermilk to school kids etc. The Clean India Campaign sold 10 million brooms in a day. It took four days for Tim Cook to sell that many Iphones. The free buttermilk gave a boost of Rs 2000 crores to the dairy industry. All designed to keep people busy. See when people are busy, they don't think about the government. So everyday I think of new ideas to keep them busy. You know it costs Rs 450 and additional insurance amount to just open a bank account. To open an account with 0 or any minor account does not make financial sense. No private bank will be doing it. I also know that most of the people will not be using it anyway. But I announced "PM Money policy" and that has opened 100 million accounts. See how many people are busy now. More computers, more networking.
Obama: But for the lavatories, don't you need water? I heard that there is shortage of water in India. Not many dams, no pipeline, etc.
Modi: Yes I know. But I have to keep some projects for the next term. People will not realize it until then anyway.
Obama: Smart Mr. Prime Minister, Smart. I tried to do all my pet projects in the first term itself. Now in the second term I have no ideas. I wished i met you in 2010.
Modi: No, No. credit is all yours. You did the cash for clunker program which inspired me very much. You know you talk to the citizens every week on the radio. I liked that idea, so I started "Mann Ki Baat" (Mind talk) program on the radio.
Obama: Yeah I love to talk to the citizens every week. I will join your program too. Need to learn from you how you handle it.
Modi: Yeah it has been hit. One more thing, you know Tata, Birla, Reliance, .... etc have some pending issues. Your team has been informed about it. Can you please look into it.
Obama: Yeah i am aware of them. I will try my best to help out. But you know American President have no power. I can bomb any country or kill terrorist but the real power is with the congress. And you know i don't have majority there.
Modi: Yeah I understand. I have the same problem that i is why I have to use ordinance.
Obama: Yeah i also had to use Ordinance. There should be no opposition. It should be winner takes all. Anyway, GE, GM, Microsoft, Google, .... etc have some pending issues. Your team has been informed about it. Can you please look into it.
Modi: Yeah sure. I am aware and will help out.
Obama: Michelle was mentioning that she received 100 saris as gifts. Now she has to buy some thing underskirt called Chaniya and also get some blouses called polka? She asked me to get it done. I don't know anything about it. Not sure when she will be wearing all those but you know these ladies, they always want dresses.
Modi: Yeah. why do you think I don't have a wife. Anyway, i don't know about Chaniyas and polkas, i will ask Sushma to help Michelle.
Obama: I loved the kites of Modi-Obama. But what amused me was the havan done for our friendship. What is that? Just by doing havans people can be friends? I want to learn more about it. I want to do a havan with John Boehner and also with Putin.
Modi: Oh that. I don't know if that works or not. But I have a lot of people in my party from the religious right wing. So i need to keep them busy.
Obama: Oh so the great mantra is to keep people busy. I will find ways to keep Boehner and Putin to keep busy. It was nice meeting you Mr. Prime Minister. We will keep in touch. I will miss not seeing Taj Mahal. Anyway, i was afraid, if Michelle asked me to make a similar monument for her, i would go bankrupt.
Modi: Thank you Mr. President. Here is a replica of Taj Mahal for you. Thank you for visiting India on a short notice.
Obama: Oh that was a nice gift. I need to learn from you a lot. I learned today we should keep people busy. Keep in touch.
Modi: We need to learn from each other.
Obama: Thank You. Aavjo (bye)
Modi: Thank You Aavjo (bye). You know gujjus don't leave each other unless they say Aavjo 3 times.
Obama: Aavjo, Aavjo, Aavjo.