Drunk!

The other night I woke up very early, and could not find a specific reason for that. I just opened only one window in the hall, waiting for it to dawn. While doing so, I just could observe many things, right from the fighting of the crows [yes!] in the nearby trees [just after 03 A.M.] and I could see a faint light, but otherwise, it was very quiet. Even the crickets were off and it felt at that time, that the entire world was in a sated drunk state, dozing off. Then it slowly dawned. It felt like a pale reddish gold liquid was coming from above in small drops, and was soaking the darker world in it. Some unnamed birds were then up and mostly welcomed it, waking up many others. One bird in particular, could not just bear that happiness, as the world started turning a bit pale and redder and let out a long sigh, as it knew that these drops would soon be replaced by the pure silvery ones, that were about to rain in buckets.

Its longing moved me, as I then was transported to those days that I was so happy with my dear ones, not even knowing the spelling of worry then. I am not that sad now, but somehow, each of us have our own great moments of the past. I longed to be smaller again, perhaps, now thats the sign of getting older, but could not help it. I swayed back and forth, finding it too hard to bear that wail and my nostalgic moments and as a result, my release valve opened. Yes. Tears poured. And that had a magical effect - that of relief. It was whiter outside and I left to work, as usual late. Whatever I did that day, a part of me was in this trance. I started on time, but had to wait for the bus for quite sometime.

After what seemed to be an eternity, it came and I was luckier that day, to get a seat. Or so I thought until, I saw who sat behind me. Yes. It was a man, in late forties perhaps and was fully drunk. He was repeating his plea to the conductor that he should be informed when a particular stop came. I generally avert such folks because of bitter experiences. At times you never know when you will get the next blow, without even knowing what wrong you did. Right? I sat erect, not even turning back once, alas, but could not cover my ears then. People who are drunk, at times feel so insecure that even the slightest act of someone whom they see, would be treated as an offence by them. This man started talking loudly and his sentences were largely incoherent. "My wife already told me many times, that I would be cheated by my siblings! How true it turned out to be! They all are rich and I am penniless!", he said and uttered a lot of expletives which made many of us to wince. I knew for sure that he would have treated his wife harshly for just saying this back at home and was now wallowing in a self pity that the drunkards quickly get in to. I felt sorry for him and wondered what in the earth had made him a drunkard in the first place. What could have started for the sake of company must have given him the recklessness that aided him in not accepting himself first. Finally he got down and the entire bus relaxed.

And of course one need not have to booze to lose oneself. Self pity perhaps is the biggest enticer, particularly when one doesn't get anything that he / she aspired for. Jealousy is another. Vengeance too, is there right on top. And all these, as you know, are detrimental. Of course, a success too can dip you in a trough of drunken state, but come to this world back crashing, sooner. Of course, you can lose yourself in a plenty of good things, but they don't ever get you in to this inebriated state ever. Instead, they recharge you!

Its in our hands to choose. Lets remember that and be sober always!

 

Thanks SRama for being the first to give feedback to this thread. And I had differentiated between the two extremes I believe, with good and bad examples. Happy to know that you found this interesting. -rgs

 

While I feel sorry for what happened to you, I just wnat to stress this Tashidelek2002 - I don't advocate for drinks. I made it quite clear in this narrative and said that I pitied those at times. I hope that you got a wrong message in this post and I am sorry, if this hit a raw nerve. The last para of this post should have made my intention clear anyway. Thanks for your feedback. -rgs

 

Thanks Syamala, for a nice feedback [as usual]. And while I agree that being spiritually there is very hard, I don't feel that its impossible. I see you more as a practical person there. What consumes us should only be good. Thats what I intended here. -rgs