The Single Child Syndrome

Dear Mithila,Jess and Sumita,

Reading thru all your posts were very interesting, heartwarming and brought back a lot of wonderful memories.
First Sumita glad to know as a single child you turned out quite sensible and down to earth. It was nice reading your perspective from a single kid point of view.
Mithila you really touch our hearts and memories with your lovely insights -the beautiful contrasts really make us realise our own paths we take and what today's decisions could lead to tomorrow. My grandma also has 10 kids and till today she gets compliments on the way her kids (now in their 60ies) handle their lives. She is 93 and lives in Australia but still holds us all together with her love.
Hey Jess, thats really wonderful what your mum did, my mum used to do that for my brothers and me too. Each of us had a duty in the house and it did not matter if we were girls or boys. The jobs used to be rotated too so each of us learnt to sweep wash cook and clean and today we can handle just about anything. My mum used to say when you grow up i don't want you all to call and say mum we cannot manage. She really made all the tasks very interesting and fun too so doing it was like games at home. Even today my parents have a maid only to sweep and swab the house and they manage everything else between themselves. And when we go and visit we follow their routines.
I really think its all about upbringing and we have to focus on that rather than feel guilty that the kids are not getting enough of luxuries etc.
Thanks Mithila for being that voice of reason that will bring us back into focusing what's really important for the kids.

Have a nice day all
best wishes
preethi

My dear Preethi,
It feels great to listen about your grandma.Just wonderful!May God bless her with good health.
Thank you dear,for that wonderful post.
love
mithila kannan

dear mithila mam

no mam you have full liberty to tell me what u feel and i really wont get angry,its very important for us to get gudiance from elders with lot of wisdom and experince of life like you.my mother use to tell us that if someone elder has suggestion or advice for us,we should just litsen to them silently and take it if it helps us,so i'm open minded towards any advice infact i should thank you for giving your valuable time and wisdom to me though you dont even know me.actually you sound so much like my mom,she also just like you said would assign each of us with different chores according to our age just for us to get the habbit of doing anything and everything in life.she was very strict with us and the same time was our best buddy too.she had set us certain rules like that we should come down (are room was on the top floor fo our house)and greet if we have some guest home even if we r studying just for a minute .if we have some guest staying over the best room and bed goes to them,even the tv remote ,that was the hardest part for us.but now it all feels so right and i too want to raise my daughter with those values so she would be like any other normal kid.

inshALLAH as you suggested i will defintely keep talking to my daughter about our society's and family's values back there in india and also how my mother raised us,so she doesnt get carried away by the privelleges she gets here nor by the thought that she is the only duaghter.an i hope i can be a good mother like u said.

take care
jess

hi preethi
looks like are mom's are quite similiar .even my mom would make it fun for us to do even regular chores. like you said she would assign us 3 sisters with 3 diffrent tasks ,and she also made sure all the tasks were almost equal becasue we use to complain "didi got the easy work and i have the difficult one",and mom would often say 'the difficult part is not giving you kids some work but making sure its all equally difficult',now i think of those days and laugh.my mom too still does all her cooking and other chores herself.

i agree with what you said its all about how the kids are raised and nuthing else matters.but there is always a tendency of a single child getting more spoiled than the one with a sibbling so parents with single child like me have to take extra care and effort in raising are kids into good humans and mithil mam's this thread is the perfect reminder for that.

take care
jess











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Our Dear Mithila,
Yes my grand ma is really wonderful even today i get cards handwritten by her for all our bdays and special days. The news she gives us and the way she looks at life is really very inspiring. Even at this age she likes to be and feel independent. My mum visited her last month and said inspite of all her illnesses and being quite dependent on my aunts she still manages to retain her own independent individuality and independence.She was feeling bad not being able to go and do her own shopping imagine!! Its her spirit for life and outlook that keeps her going and us too.
I had just gone and read sometime back Anandchitras new blog Ferdinand the Bull and really it just goes to show how much upbringing matters to a child. Its all in the hands of we mothers. The next generation will reflect the quality of our mothering skills collectively and i wonder what that will be like. Will we raise selfish selfcentered kids or kind and compassionate individuals. We have to wait and watch.
Do keep inspiring us as always and have a lovely day.
love and best wishes
preethi

Hi Jess,

Really well said, even today we three have a good laugh on the time we spent together as kids. We used to help mum make potato chips in summer, plan and see who lays the best lunch on banana leaves and how shiny the floor was after swabbing. We have made pickles and goodies together and being the girl i hardly got a chance frying as my brothers were better. One was the dosa expert and the other at baking. I used to be the specials expert like bisibelebath and beetroot halwa and carrot cake . Can you imagine mum even taught all three of us to sew knit and embroider and crochet .
Really now i have a three year old and i involve her in all that i do as part of her day and reading Mithilas article really made me think about the choices i have to make to help her grow up balanced. In this part of the world pampering comes so easy as the range of availability is amazing. How do you manage that?
take care and lovely meeting you in these forums too and to think you are just one hour away
preethi

Dear Preethi,
Thank you for the wonderful FB.
God bless you.
love
mithila

Wow,my dear friend,you made all those goody goody things to eat.Hmm.Ithink I feel hungry now.Anyhow all the best my friends,have a nice day.Be happy.Sure you people will make wonderful mothers.My blessings and good wishes to you all.
love
mithila kannan

Dear Preethi,
I feel happy for your grandma.Touch wood.Send her my love.Take good care of yourself,be happy and all the best my friend for spending your time with me.
God bless you.
love
mithila kannan

Dear varhem,
Yes thats right.Thank you for visiting the page.
All the best.
love
mithila