The Single Child Syndrome

My dear lahy15,
You are interacting with an old and sick person who is also very upset on various aspects.Hence,bear with me for not replying promptly and also if you happen to get one sentence reply from me.Sometimes I need help to sit on the computer and type,No Iam not an invalid,but back is giving lot of pain.
You dont know me,and I dont knoow you hence if my replies are to the point,my friend ,please ,dont jump to the conclusion that Iam rude.or anything like that.You may not know under what stressful circumstances I type.
I want to share with you an interesting incident that occurred in my life a couple of days back.My brother,my own brother rang me up ,he is also in chennai,to say that he became the President of the Welfare Association in the complex in which he lives.I felt happy for him,because he is a brisk person and is a very organised person,never tires of doing his work and tremendous sense of dignity io labour.This post as you may be aware ,is an honourary post.
A couple of days would have passed,I went to stay with him for a couple of days.I saw him looking worried and tense, most of the time and my sister in law told me your brother has taken his job very deriously,the way he interacts with people I am worried he will send anybody a memo for not replying his email(eventhough living in the same complex,many residents prefer to communicate with my brother,the secretary,the treasurer through email,particularly if both are working)
One day he returned from his morning walk looking furious,I asked him what was the matter.He said,"That Sundaram,wretched fellow,I am not going to talk to him.He was so rude to me today.I gave him back"
I kept quiett.He continued,"you know,yesterday I saw him on my morning walk I smiled at him and he did not even smile back.No politeness.Today when I saw him, I refused to recognise him.I will teach him a lesson"How juvenile on my brother dear's part(don't worry he is standing behind me and grinning from ear to ear.He won't get upset.Iam speaking the truth).
In few minutes, the intercom in my brother's house rang.My brother spoke on the phone,his face paled.Mr.Sunndaram,the person with whom my brother was angry, brother was admitted in the hospital for some viral infection.The day he did not smile back at my brother,he had just returned from the hospital and was worried about his brother,later it came to be known that he never went and talked to anybody,but some good souls went and enquired,"why are you silent sir,what happened?".The day my brother got the call on the intercom,he was told by another resident that Mr.Sundaram's brother who was in the hospital died.
I wanted to write it as an article but wanted to share this with you since I did not reply your fb immediately.
We can not and should not come to any conclusions without making proper enquiries and should never sit in judgement on any one.This, I learnt by experience,my friend.Iam not advising you, Iam only sharing a thought.
Yester day a kind soul had replied one of my snippet's(My dear mothers,please lend me your ears) "As one ages one tends to give uncalled for advices."I was amused.Old age does not give advice,old age shares its experiences,thats all.
Somehow I felt like talking to you and unburden my heart.Now I feel fine.Bear with me if I have taken liberties.
God bless you.
love'
mithila kannan

My dear ,dear friend,
I can not believe even for a second that such a thing would have happened in your life.Between the typed words,my dear friend,you come across as a sensible person with profound common sense.Still I feel that what you have written may not be true.Forgive me if I sound insensitive.
Whatever has happened has happened.We have no control over the past.But the present is in our hands my dear.Please be positive,now also.May be whatever happened was for your good.God may have something wonderful for you on store.
Do not think about the past.Throw memories(bitter) of the past away and savour the precious present.You are going to be fine absolutely fine.
All the best.
love
mithila kannan

Our Dear Mithila,

Congratulations on your thread reaching 100 and i do hope you are feeling much better. All your writing do touch our heart and bring about a kind of realisation that is better than experiencing it later on. I read your post about your dear mother (an enigma...) and was so touched to see all that you have gone through to reach where you are today. As they say to get gold it has to be melted at high temperatures. I think your experiences have made you the gold that we can enjoy today through your writings.
Thank you for taking the time and sharing your life and experiences even if we can walk away from here with a little insight i think we will be better human beings.
Do take care of your health and we will pray for you to get better.

Thanks Vidya for bringing to our notice the beautiful FB's this thread is getting.

love and best wishes
preethi

My dear Preethi,
Thank you for the appreciation.The thread did not reach the 100 marks or place or the FBs ,we all reached the 100th place.The interest we all showed and the lively interaction we had made it possible.Besides friends like you encouraged me, told me how much they enjoyed sharing their views,that was great.It was not the achievement of the thread ,Preethi,it was the achievement of all the participants and their warmth and love.
I love you all,
God bless you,
mithila kannan

Dear Mythila
True well said it just goes to show what a big heart you have . We love you and your writings and will turn to you for advice too when required. I am so glad you bring up such lovely topics and insights which bring out a action/ reaction in us. Thats what dialog is all about .
I really loved the snippet about your brother -how often do we fall for that -jumping to conclusions. Will think twice before i do that next time. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful insight.

Lots of love and do take care of your back
best wishes
preethi

Dear Preethi,
Thank you my dear,Your words as usual bring me joy and energy.Alittle bit of tolerance towards others is not going to hurt us at all.
All the best my dear,
Take care,
love
mithila kannan

Dear Madam,
I have been reading all your posts and I re-read them from time to time since I value these greatly.

When people are away from home, like me, it is not always possible to observe elders and learn the right things to do. One reason is that this culture is alien to me and secondly, even the Indian elders have changed their attitude "according to the times", as they put it. I used to turn to websites like rediff, since they have a bunch of How-to articles. When you find time, you should read them to amuse yourselves, because they advocate intolerance and pettiness under grand terms like women's equality and empowerment.

I'm no doormat by whatever yardstick you may use to estimate it, but I feel that impulsiveness precedes commonsense in most of us, whenever we talk about women's liberty etc.

As I grow older, I have begun to realize that people stop telling you the right things to do. Instead they watch you and quietly judge you. No one wants to give sound advice for fear of being undiplomatic and tactless. Perhaps, this is how the world operates and it is a small wonder that almost everyone wishes their childhood lasted forever.

I have turned to reading Tirukural and Auvaiyaar's "Moodurai" etc., to get practical advice for life. It is in this context, that I value your posts. To me nothing equals the voice of experience (especially those of reasonable ones) and it is the posts from senior people like you, Mrs.Chitra, Mrs.Sunkan that keep me glued to this site.

Please do continue the good work that you are doing. I thank you very very much and I wish you all the very best.

Best regards
-Bee
(Sorry for the long post, I didn't realize until I had finished)

My dear dear baghirathi,
Thank you so much for the wonderful FB.It was real pleasure to read your thoughts in your impeccable English.
You have explained so well that elders have also changed according to times and even they advocate intolerance.My dear friend,in this changing materialistic world,there are a very few gems like you, who like 'Annapatchi',differentiate and select the good from the bad.
I am happy that you like my writings.When I write, for me it is like talking to you, as I talk to my daughters.So, thats why it appeals to you.You said you are reading 'thirukkural and Avvaiyar.Iam amazed.Really for the first time, I am coming across a young person, reaching to these greatest among great sages of our country.They who gave us values are the real sages.
I feel happy for you,Iam also very proud of you as I would be of my daughter.
Thank you for your wonderful comment.They mean a lot to me.
God bless you.
love mithila kannan

Dear M'am, Thanks for your kind reply and sorry I couldn't reply you soon ... You can take your own time to reply us M'am ... But you do give us quick reply ... I started admiring your writing M'am ... This is the first time am reading stories from this Forum and I was so touched by your writings ... Thanks for sharing with us here M'am ...

"Old age does not give advice,old age shares its experiences" .. Yes you are absolutely, right M'am... Whenever, my mom advices me, I always think that she does only from her experiences ..

Also, thanks for sharing about your Brother ... I am touched by your words M'am...

Regards, Suni ...

Dear Ma'am
Thanks for your kind words and blessings.
Looking forward to your posts,
-Bee