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What a Muddle sorry Cuddle

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Nov 27, 2014.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    What a Muddle sorry Cuddle


    DNA today had a great article about a lady in USA, rather Oregoan, where Rajneesh had settled down in the eighties. Here it is


    Woman Opens A Professional Cuddle Store And Charges $60 An Hour To Snuggle | Business Insider India


    this lady got inspired by someone who used to give free Hugs to people, something like Munna bhai did in Munnabhai MBBS, whereby he used to give a Jadoo ki Jhapki. Just go and hug someone eh !This lady too used to hug people for free, till she found out that it can be a moneyspinner.


    So she made two changes, first from free it became paid, and the hug was changed to a cuddle on the bed. For 1 dollor a minute, a minimum of 1 hour cuddle, she will let u cuddle her, or she will cuddle u, or both will cuddle each other, gosh, I am confused friends, but well , let us both will embrace each other, but in a platonic way, I mean, like a brother or sister, or in whatever sense u take it.


    You cannot fool around, she makes u sign a contract, that for the period of the cuddle, we are platonic, no other feelings etc. And do u know what, she has a waiting list of a 1000 people, who are waiting to cuddle her, or be cuddled by her. HAHA.And the camera is on, so the guy knows he is on tape, and cannot fool with the lady.


    I assume , if she even cuddles, sorry works for 6 hours a day, she makes 600 dollors a day, say 25 days makes it 15000 dollors a month, which very few people make in USA. And with a waiting list of thousands eh !what a lovely business this is eh .


    I just wonder what what can a cuddle do to a stranger ? She says there are old people, who just want to be touched, well fine, but then at least an hour every day do charity and don’t charge the old patient who needs a touch and as u say it has been years since anyone has touched them lovingly. And may I suggest to the pretty lady, that even I am old, a senior citizen, and if she can accommodate me, for free, I will forever be grateful to her, and maybe take over the franchise from her for India.


    In Banglore they started the kissing on the streets, stupid youngsters, they should have started cuddles, and paid cuddles, like this lady, and the person would have minted money. To me it seems a great business idea really.


    In fact I see a great opportunity for cuddling in the garden where I walk every morning. We guys, me included , go for a walk , for a lark, take a few rounds and then sit and talk more and walk less. We need walks to maintain our cholesterols and keep diseases at bay. But we take a few rounds, and then sit down to talk, whereas we should walk more. No amount of advise makes us walk more. Here is where the cuddler can come in use.



    Say 10 wives , worried about the health of their husbands, get together and hire a cuddler for an hour, a pretty lady . She is the incentive for the oldies like us to walk more and talk less. After every round of 4 minutes, in the park, she gives a hug, and after say I have completed 5 rounds, then a cuddle, after 7 rounds 1 peck on the cheek to me, 8[SUP]th[/SUP] round I give her a peck on the cheek, and then after 10 rounds , a big big snuggle perhaps, u see !!!!!

    Now for that one hour , she is paid say 200 bucks, combined by the 10 wives of the walkers, so that makes it 20 bucks per guy per day, and for 30 days 600 per month per guy, which is nothing, compared to being sick, and paying doctors fees, tests and medicines.And not bad for her, 6000 amonth, for an hour a day job eh !



    And this way the oldies of india, will be tempted to sleep early, so that they get up early, for the cuddler has fixed timings , say she comes at 6 am and goes at 7 am, after that u get nothing, so she will be improving the health of the men folk, and reduce the doctors fees.If Modi had thought of Healthy Bharat, I would have given him this idea of a Swasth Bharat .



    Well for the ladies, I am thinking of hiring out of work , or middle aged actors, who are past their prime, and I can open an agency, and take a cut from the cuddlers and snugglers eh !In fact I am available but not for cuddles, I am a shy chap u see. But for 10 bucks a minute, minimum for an hour, I can keep u entertained with my corny jokes, verbal blogs, I can send u so many whats app jokes, and bring a smile on the face of the lady. Of course discounts will be there, but that is at my discretion. The prettier the lady, more the discount.



    And I am sure I too will have a 1000 ladies waiting to sign up for my laughter services, and soon I will own a Mercedes.Right now I am spreading cheer and laughter for free here, a shame really.!!!



    I am curious to know what u friends think of my idea, and if anyone is ready to be a partner with me, and /or take my franchise.


    HAHA

    KAMAL MAHTANI
     
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  2. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    ha ha ha

    Kamalji I read this some time back and here in IL too - but yours is always special - there will be a special treatment to the stories - your speciality.

    A great business plan again from you - you have opened the gates to a roaring business opportunity.

    You will be the business consultant - Kamalji, the master cuddling consultant :):):)
     
  3. madhuprabha

    madhuprabha Gold IL'ite

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    Good morning Kamalji,

    He he he he..........
    A very good comic post. That's why your customary jokes were absent from the end of the post.
    It's a good idea, platonic and all that. ALL THE BEST TO YOUR IDEA.
    Keep us posted about the outcome of your business venture.
     
  4. MadhuSharmila

    MadhuSharmila IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji,

    Couldn't stop laughing!!! Loved your sense of humour throughout the post. And, great ideas for a new business.. Good luck.. :thumbsup

    And, when you own a mercedes we could take a ride in it...:)
     
  5. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    What a tragic state of affair Kamalji. Only a cuddle and nothing beyond? Only masochists who enjoy being tormented will pump for this cuddle for cash offer. I am sure the business will face a sump because of this. Inspired by this there may be others who will offer a cuddle for 50 cents instead of a dollar. Some may even start to offer it for free-just for kicks. In that case I think the lady will be forced to either diversity or shut down.
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear GG,

    HAHA, master cuddler eh ! HAHA

    Not huggler >?

    Regarrds

    kamal

     
  7. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dea r Madhu,

    Today i got one offer, a man wanted to be huggled, and i told him this is strictly for ladies.HAHA

    Will keep u updated.Jokes did not get very good ones on Whats app, suitable for indus so could not post. in fact after i posted, a lot of good ones have come in .

    Regards

    kamal

     
  8. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Madhu,

    Welcome to my blogs.

    i take people for a ride, and now i will take ladies for a ride in a merc eh ! Welcome, let me get the merc first.HAHA

    Regards

    kamal

     
  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balaji,

    why do u wish the lady ill ? A case of sour grapes ? Dont worry , i will tell her to give u a free one hour cuddle, ok ?

    HAHA

    Regards

    kamal

     
  10. Scorpio707

    Scorpio707 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hahaha...Some one is getting ideas :wink: all the best kamalji:thumbsup sure there would be people jam for cuddling...can't imagine :)
     

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