Kiss kiss kill kill

Do kisses kill? Not unless the girl you want in a lip lock would rather keep her lips unlocked and screams murder at your attempt inviting all and sundry to bash you up, say the ignorant. If you are weak enough you can faint from that treatment and when you wake up find yourself hitching a pillion ride on Yama’s buffalo.. (Oh hell! Why can’t Yama modernise his transport? Can’t he buy a snazzy car or at least a Yamaha bike?)

But thanks to British scientists now we know that kisses kill in ways other than by attracting a lynching mob. In an announcement that could make mothworn moralists rub their hands in glee, the scientists have warned that a kiss lasting 10 seconds could transfer 80 million bacteria and hey guys and gals if you kiss nine times a day you could share billions of these teeny-weeny creatures not visible to the eye. Lordie!! That probably means more than the total population of India.

So a kiss a day can make you pay (at least a fat fee to your doc) As even your kids school general science textbook will tell you bacteria can spread all sorts of diseases. So a smooch could lay you low.

Recently there was lot of hullabaloo about kissing when groups of youngsters went on a kissing spree in Kochi, Kerala against moral policing. The kissers united Hindu and Muslim conservatives (No they didn’t kiss each other but bayed for the blood of the smooching guys and gals in unison) and police had to arrest the smoochiers and drive the protesting old fashioned fogies away.
The liplockitis (the disease of locking lips) spread to the very propah Chennai and received a lukewarm response in Delhi.. The BP of the so-called moralists went up and it found an echo even on many websites as bloggers screamed about “disgusting behaviour”.

Now all these guys can give a triumphant see-I-told-you-so –look..They have scored a point and will now probably spring into real action.

There may be a demand from them that the government launch an ant-kissing campaign to din into thick heads that smooching is not only immoral(?! but unhealthy too. Hey guys here is a suggestion. It has been found out that certain kinds of cancers are caused by bacteria. So why not club smoking with kissing? We can have ads everywhere saying “Smoking and kissing can cause cancer”.

Every kissing scene in movies must carry the statutory warning kissing can kill. ( Now wouldn’t it be easier to ban kissing on ssreen? After all it had stayed banned for decades. But at the same time wouldn’t it be easier to ban cultivation of tobacco instead of making the silly announcement that its use can c cause cancer)

And TV channels can carry horrific anti-kissing ads. With gruesome looking skeletal guys and
gals lying in hospital beds and voiceovers announcing: “ I was a hale and hearty guy/gal . Then I kissed”.

Now, at the risk of a midnight knock from the moral police, let us see the other side of the coin too. Pro-kissers will point out that all bacteria are not baddies. Just think of the cups of yoghurt you polish off every day. Thank some bacterial good guys for it.

So how do you know the bacteria getting transferred during a smooch aren’t the good guys. And who knows, even bacteria need a change of scene. There is every chance that they would feel at least bored if not downright claustrophobic if they remain in the same place out of sheer boredom they could harm the host.. Thus moving house could do them and us a lot of good..
Variety could be the spice of life for these critters too.. And a liplock may form the tunnel through which the bacteria shift their residence.

At western weddings, after the ceremony is over, the priest tells the groom “You may now kiss the bride” (What a silly remark as if they haven’t been kissing before). Now there can be a slight change in it. “You may now bond through bacteria” the priest can declare with a mental nod to the British scientists and sparing a kind thought for the good chaps among bacteria.

 

Kamalji I wish I had taken Muthalik's stand. Then as in the case of Muthalik I too would have got free chaddies from the ladies / (He got them all pink from feminists) I wouldn't have to spend a penny ion underwear for my entire life then. (They cost a fortune nowadays.). Too bad I am a liberal.

 

Sabitha I don't think bacteria are going to be dampeners when it comes to kissing. No one thinks while kissing. all thoughts are lost. Bacteria are the thing that comes least to the mind,

 

Scorpio thanks.

 

GG at this rate someone would think of kiss as a means of biological warfare.