When a "Bad Thing" is actually a 'Good Thing'

I can’t complain much. I have been blessed a great many things in life. However there is the occasional ‘testing’ thing that happens. And at the moment it I feel wretched. It’s the whole ‘Why me, why this, why now’ state of mind. Looking back more often than not..these so called bad things have been blessings in disguise.

I was a good student in school. So with each straight A year in school, my father’s “Malinee you should pursue medicine’ became more profound. It was repeated so many times till I don’t ever remember wanting to be anything else. But the straight A streak came to an end when I was 18. My form 6 result (something like pre-U here in Malaysia) was 2 points lower than the cut off for Medicine. And my parents were financially unable to put me through private medical school. So I took up the Biomedicine degree course I was offered in the public university. I was devastated. I spent the first semester roaming the medical faculty, all the while crying quietly thinking of all the things I could not do. My mum kept reminding me I would look back and think it was for the good. It didn’t happen immediately..but 11 years down the road…the bad is indeed a good. I know for sure now I can’t be a doctor. I can’t stand to see people in pain. I’m ok with blood and such as long as it’s in a tube or bottle. And I enjoy my job in Clinical Research. I have completed my Masters and am in the midst of pursuing my PhD. I have found my calling…

On a personal front, one of the worst ‘bad thing’ was when I ended the relationship I had with the one man I thought I would get married to. I met him when I was 23 and he was 31. I was naïve just out of university and never had dated before. He was this ‘Mr. Right’. Four years down the road Mr. Right was so wrong. Mr. Right kept instilling in me that I was not good looking, not smart, not successful….plain not good enough. The threshold was when I found out that Mr. Right had way too many Ms.Rights. I was broken. We were planning to get married. That day I remember standing on the porch of the beautiful home we had bought that year. It was raining and the house looked beautiful (I picked it so carefully, with my living room facing the private park so that I could watch my kids play, with the lake just down the road). A thought crossed my mind then. “Malinee, just tolerate or your dream ends here’. That instant another thought crossed my mind “Malinee, do you want the house or do you want a home?” It ended there. I cried my heart out, ended my relationship, quit my job, moved back home to another state and started over. It has been 2 years ever since. I was stunted adult because I was in a relationship that didn’t allow me to grow. I have done more things in the last 2 years than I have done in the 4 years I was in this relationship. This time around, I found myself….

As easy as it sounds..these processes were one of the most painful paths I have had to walk..they were filled with despair, tears, frustration, anger..and even depression. But they instilled in me the most important value…I look for the silver lining in each cloud..I believe in it..I wait for it…because “A bad thing may just turn out to be a Good thing’

Regards

Malinee

Hi Malinee,
Is it fiction or real?
Congrats if a bad thing really turned out to be a good thing in your life.You must have really struggled a lot all these days.Appreciate your bold decision and strong will(but........when everything with you was not right for Mr.Right, why you chose him as your life partner?)Please excuse me if I am adding any discomfort to you by asking this...Gone is gone, cheer up and keep moving...All the best!
Love
Diya

Hi Diya, It is real..

I use to think of the same thing..why do people put up with the very people who treat them badly...I admit I dont have the answer for everyone...but for my case....Fear of the unknown...I stopped being myself and because of that I didnt know how to exist without this man...It is a very wrong notion I know....But sometimes it takes a disaster to snap us out of it...I spent the initial period of the break up analyzing every detail... I hated myself for putting up with it...I was only able to put it behind me after being to forgive myself for my own actions....It was a mistake...but the most important thing was that i got out of it....these days when I do see women commiting the same crime...I do to a certain extent understand the dillema and i pray the day they snap, friends and family help in the forgiveness process.

Regards,
Malinee

Hi Malinee..............Congrats for the right decision u had taken at the right time. It often happens in life and we think why all theses happen to 'Me" only. But as u have said all these are small testings which prepare ourself for the grate happinees that is sure to come.So cheer up Malinee.......all the best.