Peaked!

I hesitate a lot to go to such events and in fact, there is a long stretch of years where I did not attend even one of those, for the reason that I was not in a mindset and felt [foolishly] that it would affect the event in one way or another. Thinking of ourselves as important, comes naturally, I feel. And when it gets busted and the time we realize how small, we really are, its hard to accept. We reel, feel like fallen from a cliff. And once we cross the self pity barrier, we get a stability that stays with us for long.

I went to that event and was first overwhelmed by the building itself. Having vast halls with clear purpose, it was a statement by itself. As I entered, I was greeted and was confused for a moment whether to look at those pretty faces or just take the chandan and kumkum and move on. As usual, I ended up doing both and feeling miserable as I heard a giggle. The hall was crowded. Somehow I have a liking to be the lone person in an auditorium or a hall, either before the event or, after all had left. Though I am not afraid of crowds, I just felt more comfortable without, you see? But then this was a new place and there was nobody even remotely familiar except my friend. I dragged myself and found an empty chair in the last row. As I was about to just take that place, three or four little children ran around it and me and I almost lost balance. But I felt so happy, as their faces were and in spite of all the din, I could hear them clear. Next I saw those women who were so happy and it reflected well in their faces. In fact, they looked far brighter than their bright and grand costumes, ornaments and mehandis. I realized that the women and kids are the ones who really get fully involved and live in that moment, in such functions. As I sat down, I heard one saying something about someone else to the other and thought that it was then complete, as they laughed heartily.

The mrithangam and the nagaswaram were having an effect and I felt that my mind was just carried to that. I don't know the raga or even the song, but it was good to hear that. And as usual, my mind played that game of, 'knowing' what is to come in the next moment. I enjoyed it and turned to give an appreciative glance to them, as they were a bit far, at the other end. Then that old man stood in the stage. There was this hush and an expecting silence filled the hall. He stood up and I wondered how his legs could support him. He was fat and looked like a pumpkin Halloween costume, but only difference is that there is no costume. He must have been very old, but his voice was clear and loud, as he announced that the event was about to happen and requested us [it didn't sound like one, but seemed to be an order] not to rush to the stage after the event was just completed. I again had a confusing moment next, when I was offered flowers. "How much to take?", a question came and many answers came too, making me to be undecided. Finally, I picked up two or three, and all this happened within two seconds. But what happened next was something that I even did not anticipate.

Knowing fully well that the moment would happen, I stood up and tried seeing them on stage, and saw only the backs of the photo and video persons. I saw the TV screens on both sides and was relieved a bit then, yet when that happened, all my thoughts vanished for a moment and an eerie silence rang aloud inside. It felt like I was switched off yet, too alert then to pick up anything. A prayer came from within and I was astonished even to see that. When that moment passed, I realized that it had filled my eyes too. I blinked and wiped my face, then went ahead to wish him, after several minutes.

"Happy married life!", I wished and left.

p.s. As I came out, I saw one of the photographer dismantling the zoom and wiping it much relieved, while sweat poured from his forehead. Somehow I felt similar.

 

Well, I am perfectly fine with a small group and will definitely interact with each and everyone then, KV Madam. Glad to know that I have company in this. And I liked the self deprecating humour of yours]. Thanks for the feedback. -rgs

 

Thanks Ravichander, for your appreciation. Happy to receive a first from you. -rgs