Ganeshji And Me

Ganeshji and Me

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There is this famous Ganeshji Temple at Moti Dungri area of Jaipur. Everyone goes there, any new vehicle u buy, u must take it there. I have bought many, but not once gone there, though I pass it many a times, I just close my eyes and say Hi to him. In the last 3 decades , I have not been there once .


Yesterday was an opportunity of a lifetime. Some special passes had come, whereby u could go and come face to face with the lord, some friends wanted to kidnap me and take me toGaneshji, but I was not in the mood to go. Its just that I believe the lord is in our hearts, u pray sincerely, and see how he listens to u, at least he listens to me.



Well brother andbhabhi went, and they were zapped with the awe of Ganeshji. Here are the few pictures of the big boss, with the VIP humans, of which I am not a part of.





Well I was musing, that was it not bad of me to not have gone and paid my respects to Ganeshji when the whole world would give their left arm, to have a one to one with him, if u see the rush there, u would understand the importance of this pass, my friend must be someone more important that I thought.


With a glass of lemon juice, I was thinking over all this, wife and daughter having already retired to bed, when suddenly the door burst open, alon g with lightening, and in walks someone like Ganeshji, with a long trunk, pot bellied, and say “ Hi Kamalji”. I got scared and Bingo our Labrador started to bark, and Ganeshji did something, and I saw Bingo on the top of the fan, like Hema Malini was in Seeta aur geeta, in the police station.


Well I was convinced this is the original Ganeshji, and as I bowed down , he picked me up, and said, don’t worship me, we are friends. He sat down opposite me, and he had a big bag of ladoos which he was chomping away while talking to me.


I said “ How come Jaipur, and how come me ? I never come to visit u at Moti Doongri, then ?


Kamal , Happy premature Birthday, and many happy returns of the day. I said Ganeshji , I must wish u in fact, my birthday is on the first of September still a few days away.


Ganeshji said “ Kamal u love fishes so much, hence I kept yr birthday on the 1[SUP]st[/SUP] of September when the sale of fishes start officially, and I make sure u have good fishes, for soon my visharjan takes place and sea gets polluted, and then u are starved of fishes . Don’t curse me Kamal, I don’t wish to drown, but people do that to me, what do I do .


“ Kamal, u see my mom Parvati, scolds me everytime Ganesh chaturvedi comes. She was telling me the other day, that she has taken my membership at a Heavenly Gym, , and she wants me to do cycling and other exercises to reduce my weight.



Tired of her nagging , I told her, people are calling me down to celebrate me, with ladoos galore, so I am going down, and I will diet after I am immersed. Since u were missing at Moti Doongri, so I came here to meet u.


I said , I am sorry I gave u this trouble to come to meet me, I am sorry, and he laughed, his belly shaking, and said, everyone reveres me kamal, but u. you treat me as u would anyone else. You talk to me in the bathroom, in yr office, u are casual with me.That is what I like, that u treat me like a friend, and not like God.



Kamal , u don’t see me with yr eyes, but u see me with yr heart, and u keep me there, along my other collegues. We are very happy there, and we see the world from yr eyes.( We close our eyes at times, when u see some things that we are not supposed to see, u see !} People give me respect for these 11 days, and then they put me to sea to drown. Am I that bad , kamal ?



I said Ganu ( we had become informal by then), I can never understand whey they don’t keep u all thru the year. Is this not like bringing in yr [parent from an old age home, keep them at home for 11 days, feed them, bathe them, take good care of them, and then , 12[SUP]th[/SUP] day take them back to the old age home eh ! and remember them next year ?



Kamal, this has become a ritual a money making one, as u can see . Why do people have to keep me at all. So much money is spent on my idols, and later the sea is flooded with me, polluting and killing the fishes in the sea, is that fair ? Traffic blocked, workers absent, taking advances and leaves, is that what I stand for , kamal ?



I asked Ganu for a few ladoos, he was going on eating them, bingo was scared and peeing from the fan, too scared to yelp, and I told Ganu have mercy on Bingo, and whoosh, Bingo came down, and tail between legs ran away leaving the two of us alone.



Ganu would not give me even a single ladoo, and then I lost my cool and told him, Ganu I curse u , that u wull get diabeties soon, with all the sweets u are eating, and not parting with one to me, then he gave me one, and smiled. He is one chingu/ kanjoos/stingy God.



I told him I will take him for a check up after Ganesh Chaturvedi, and he said, we gods don’t get diabeties. Ho ! Ho! Ho! He found that funny eh ! I did not for my eyes were on the ladoos.i had one and it was delicious.



He said , kamal I know u will blog about this, go ahead, let the nonbeleivers know that Ganu exists, and tell them, that Ganu will be happy and bless them if they post their comments on this blog, otherwise, let them beware !!!!!



It was past midnight, and Ganu said, tomm is my stapna, I must leave, I have so much to do, but I will keep in touch with u kamal, and if u need anything, do let me know.


Whoosh, and he was gone, the door closed, the lights dimmed, so friends , I passed on his message to u guys ald gals, now it is up to u ot just read, or post comments.


HAHA


KAMAL MAHTANI

Terrible english by PT sir:
.
1) There is no wind in the football.
.
2) I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
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3) you rotate the ground 4 times.
.
4) you go and understand the tree.
.
5) I'll give you clap on ur cheeks.
.
6) Bring your parents and your mother and especially your father.
.
7) Close the window airforce is coming.
.
8) I have two daughters and both are girls.
.
9) Stand in a straight circle.
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10) Dont stand in front of my back
.
&the best one...
.
11) Why Haircut not cut?


: A Woman driver's answer for not using INDICATOR.....

"Why should I use Indicator?
Where I am going is None of Your business."


Parvati: Gannu, baby, you really should start gymming now.
Ganpati: I'm not fat, I'm pleasantly plump.
Parvati: Er, ya, but you could be fitter- like your Dad.
Ganpati: Not again ma! And it's okay. I charm people anyway.
Parvati: That you do, hun! Love you baby
Ganpati: Love you too ma, miss me for ten days- I'm off for a food festival, interacting with friends, fans and followers! And ya, if Hanuman comes with another gym membership offer for me, tell him 'NOT INTERESTED' happy Ganesh Chaturthi week 


Husband wife both die in a car crash. Husband becomes bhoot. Wife becomes Daayan.
They both meet after some time.
Wife: Kitne badle badle lag rahe ho bhoot bankar.

Husband: pagli, par tum bilkul nahi badli.
Still the same.

 

Dear GG,

Well i beleive but not in visiting temples , i am basically too lazy, and i dont like the representatives of god, that is the pujaris and thebeggars, the traffic, etc.so i prefer to stay at home, and whenever i have something to say to him, i find the best place is the bathroom, where no one will come and barge, and he and me are one for a few mins. i tell him what is troubling me, and place it at his feet.

GG, what can i say to u, the lord listens not to your greedy demands, but something genuine for others.

Well i hope Ganeshji stays in the temple, if he were to coem and stay with me, how can i have my nonveg in front of him eh ! HAHAHAHAHA


Regards

kamal

 

Dear Jaya,

Yes with the amount of ladoos that are made in Ganesha's name he should be on insulin actually.HAHA

But pandits dont care for his health, for the more ladoos that are made, the more can be sold back to the shopkeepers eh !

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Satchi,

Smart that u have made Ganesha Bhau, very smart.He can be the best brother ever.Well he understands, and he must be tired of the noise the pujas generate, he likes when people remember him with their hearts as u do, ask him anything reasonable and he will do it.

Regards

kamal